Chapter 97: Heavy silence
T/W: Child loss and miscarriage, please read only if you are comfortable
The silence that followed was heavier than I could ever imagine.
I could barely remember anything or what happened after I came to the hospital, everything was a blur to me. I only watched as Xavier lowered his head and nodded slightly to confirm one of my worst nightmares.
I couldn’t hold back the soft gasp that left my parted lips as I fell back into my bed. I remember pushing out my baby and then I passed out before I could even see him. I tried to say something but there was a lump stuck in my throat and I couldn’t even utter a single word.
Emotions ran wild in my dark brown eyes and a sour feeling shot right up my nose. Tears that were formed at the brim of my eyes came falling down my cheeks within the next second. My ribs felt as though they were closing in on themselves, each sharp end of the bone pricking at my heart and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t grasp this reality that was hurled at me.
My world had collapsed in an instant.
No matter how much I hated the father of my baby, deep inside the hollow of my heart was filled with love for the child I have yet to meet, the child that I have yet to lay my eyes on. He was innocent and I wasn’t going to let my hatred for my ex-husband diminish the love I have for my child.
The memory of Stella pushing me onto the ground continued to linger at the back of my mind, haunting me. I looked up, glaring at Blake and Stella who were standing there watching us. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. "Leave! Get out of here!" I yelled but my voice only came out weak, faltering towards the end of the sentence. "I don’t want to see the two of you here! You are the reason my baby is gone!" I screamed. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the tears this time.
Blake stared at me, his face remained stoic and indifferent. "Yelling at us isn’t going to change the fact that you lost our baby," he snarled, his voice cold and his expression was almost emotionless. "Did you think that it was our fault that you lost the baby? If only you were more careful then this wouldn’t have happened!" He sneered with a disdainful scorn, spitting the words out like they were poison in his mouth. His words, usually meaningless, were now stabbing at my heart relentlessly.