Chapter 182 - 183
Clenching his hands into fists, an expression of disgust subconsciously settled onto his face, shadowed by long strands of light amber hair as he hung his head in anxious thought. So many spells to learn, so many skills to master, so many memories to make and not nearly enough time to do it all. What if he not only failed to rescue Kaila before it was too late, but also lost Lessa to that old, lustful lord of Toulun? Even if he managed to endure through such loss, it wouldn’t be long before Civus was swept up in a large civil war that would put the lives of him and his loved ones at risk on a scale that was difficult to imagine.
It never ends, he thought, suddenly saddened and fatigued. Will there ever come a day when I’ll be free of worry?
His head was enveloped by a soft feeling, which dragged him out of his daze. Anice had gotten out of bed and pulled him into a warm embrace, his head pressed against her chest as she held him firmly in place. Under different circumstances, he might have been aroused or excited, but now he only felt an unexpected wave of relief, a nostalgic sense of reassurance that brought him back to the day that he and Kaila had mended their friendship following the deaths of her parents. Thinking back, the two of them hadn’t communicated properly and as a result had avoided one another for several months when in reality they had wanted nothing more than to patch things up and return to the way things had been beforehand. Several precious months, he thought sadly, time that he could never reclaim.
He hugged her back, arms wrapped around her waist as they found solace in one another’s company. How long had it been since someone had hugged him like this? Surely not since the days when both Kaila and his mother had still been in his life. If it were several years ago, there was a strong chance that he would have begun to bawl his eyes out into Anice’s blouse, but now he simply enjoyed the moment of warmth and connection.
Hearing a quiet sniffle, he realized that Anice was shedding silent tears. When he tried to gaze upwards, she blocked his head with a hand and forced him to remain in place.
"Anne, don’t worry too much about Lessa, okay? We’ll talk with everyone and together we can try to come up with a solution."
"Stupid Alie," she whimpered, drops of moisture falling onto the crown of his head.
Knowing her all too well, he realized his mistake and tightened his embrace. "I’m sorry, Anne. I’ve been selfish lately, haven’t I?"
"No," she muttered, a bit meekly. "It’s me who’s being selfish. Lessa will be leaving soon and all I’ve been thinking about is...is..."
Acknowledging that she didn’t want to continue, he pulled back and then stood up from his seat. Wiping the tears from her eyes with a gentle movement of his thumb, he gave her an apologetic smile.
"It’s okay, Anne. I know." Glancing at the door, he said, "I’ve been inconsiderate lately, and I feel that I owe you an apology. If you don’t mind it being a few weeks early, would it be okay if I gave you your Name Day present now?"