Chapter 185: Secret untold 2
Rhys sighed, clearly he didn’t find what she was saying funny.
"Then after we separated I thought I could forget you, but like a drug I was addicted to you. You were all I could think about."
She watches as Rhys clears his throat, frowning as if he’s still trying to sort his own jumbled thoughts out. "Then I saw that. You’re with Damien and it just fucked everything. That was the day when it slapped me fair in the face when I realized I wanted you to want me - wanted you to smile at me, laugh at my stupid jokes and keep looking at me the way you did that day I met you for the first time - I liked how you looked at me, never had someone look at me the way you did. I just wanted to be around you, but I didn’t understand what that was, and it just frustrated me," he says.
"Then there was the night I kissed you again when I was all fucked up. I missed you, and you were all I thought about.
You were the only thing that felt good - that didn’t hurt. But again, I was so fuckin’ confused, and when I saw how much it scared you... When you walked down and smiled at my brother I hated myself even more.
Everything in my head was telling me to let you leave, but everything else in me was screaming that I just wanted you to stay - felt so fuckin’ selfish - I didn’t think I deserved you, I didn’t deserve something that didn’t hurt," Rhys confesses.
His hands drop from his forehead, and he threads his fingers together while staring at his feet on the ground. "I could see that you wanted me too. But you know how...
You know how they say that if someone is drowning, not to help them because they’ll be panicking and can drag you down with them - you’ll end up drowning too?" he asked.
She was so scared of how full Rhys was swelling her heart right now, because it felt like it was getting filled with warmth just for it to get shattered by whatever he was going to eventually tell her.