The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria

🔶 Day 6 <C> Private Meeting with Maria Otonashi – Kazuki Hoshino’s Room

Daiya’s smooth talking must have worked. Koudai Kamiuchi ended up keeping quiet for a day.

However, it’s plain to see he won’t keep himself in check any longer after today. He is unable to completely conceal the thirst for violence within him, and he radiates it to everything around him.

I recognized that dark, black atmosphere like condensed desire in that hidden Master Room.

Daiya has left out one person’s perspective.

Namely, what Maria is going to try to do.

Daiya’s plan requires time to go into effect. The real Daiya won’t make his move until we’ve run out of rations and are on the verge of being mummified. I know this.

But Maria obviously doesn’t know what he’s planning. As before, she still thinks I’m going to die once time starts running out.

Naturally, she’s likely going to help me win Kingdom Royale so I can survive, since she knows I can’t fulfill my victory conditions unless she perishes. In short—

—Maria will try to die so that I can win.

I have to get through to her and prevent her from doing this. I’m well aware she isn’t going to cave so easily, though.

That’s why I asked Daiya to coerce Koudai Kamiuchi into holding off.

I couldn’t kill him then. There’s something I absolutely need to have Maria witness in order to persuade her.

—The moment I kill Koudai Kamiuchi.

And now, I face off with Maria as she arrives in my room.

What is this?

Now that my objective is so clear to me, something feels immensely wrong about Maria. Her profile seems fuzzy, as if my center of focus is off.

“Kazuki.”

As I expected, Maria doesn’t sit next to me.

I’m sure she still doesn’t accept that I’m Kazuki Hoshino. As things stand now, she won’t ever recognize me with my clarified sense of purpose.

“It seems I need to die after all.”

Unless things change, I won’t be able to put an end to this foolishness of hers.

“As things stand now, I’m only holding you back. You won’t win Kingdom Royale. Thankfully, I’m an NPC, though, so you won’t need to feel bad about it,” she says, perfectly calm.

I let out an involuntary sigh.

Stopping Maria really is next to impossible.

“Maria, you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to kill Koudai Kamiuchi.”

“—”

She is speechless, but the surprise soon disappears from her face.

“I truly don’t know you anymore.” Maria frowns. “You must be in league with Oomine. That’s why you made such a horrible choice.”

“It’s already decided.”

“…I see,” says Maria, looking away. “I don’t even consider murder to be an option. No matter how effective a solution it may be, it’s inhuman and barbaric. I said something to this effect in the Rejecting Classroom… But, well, I guess you wouldn’t remember.”

I’d be lying if I said Maria’s rejection doesn’t affect me. But no matter how much it hurts, I can’t turn back.

“Taking your own life is much more twisted.”

“For a human. I’m a Box.”

“Stop using that excuse! You know I would never want you to do such a thing!”

Maria’s eyes open wide at my outburst.

“……Are you still saying that? Why do you keep being so weak? If anyone can do it, it’s you. You can prioritize the normalcy of your daily life over me.”

Are you still saying that? she says.

I’m the only one who should be saying that, here.

I begin walking and touch the monitor in front of Maria as she watches suspiciously. A message appears.

WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD?

If this is how it’s going to be, I’ll just have to show her.

I’ll show Maria that I’ve already changed. I put off killing him for a day just so I could do this.

Then I’ll get her to trust the new me.

I’ll convince her there’s no need for her to die.

In order to do this, I reach out for the word KILL? appearing over Koudai Kamiuchi’s eyes.

“S-stop!” Maria rushes up, her eyes wide, and grabs my arm.

“………Why?” I honestly didn’t expect her to get this upset.

“…Why what?”

Maria averts her eyes slightly as I ask the question again.

“Why does it bother you so much if I change? I know it’s not good for me to do this. But do you need to try to stop it so desperately? It might save both of us, you know?”

I recall my Private Meeting with Maria yesterday.

“Whoever you are, wearing Kazuki Hoshino’s face—you scare me.”

“Why is it so scary for you if I change?”

“……”

She doesn’t answer the question.

“Let me tell you something. There’s no point in stopping me from pressing that button. Even if you put me in a full nelson, I’ll just press it as soon as you’re gone.”

“…I know that.”

So she says, but her grip on my arm tightens.

“I mean, I stopped you because I’m getting emotional. Okay, I’ll admit it. I don’t want you to change, ever.”

“…But there’s nothing you can do about that,” I tell her quietly.

Maria stares at me. “…It would seem so.”

And with that, she releases my arm.

“I can’t stop you anymore.”

I gaze at her, unable to understand why that would be so heartbreaking.

Maria opens her mouth to answer. “Hey, Kazuki. What’s my objective?” she asks me with a trace of sorrow.

“To get a Box, right?”

“Correct. I’m trying to obtain a Box. I’m looking for it in order to perfect my wish. The reason I’m with you is because you’ve snagged O’s attention. That’s my excuse.”

“………Yeah.”

“But I’m a Box. I’m not allowed to exist in the normal world. I was never meant to be by anyone’s side. I will destroy the normalcy of that person’s life, so I can’t get too deeply involved. The only reason I can be with you is because I have this pretext for doing so.”

“……”

“You’ve begun to change. I can’t guess what you’re thinking by your face alone anymore. Little by little, we’re losing something special… In the end, maybe this was a foregone conclusion. Our relationship began as a by-product of your feelings for Mogi, after all.”

“That’s—”

I stArt_to offer some unfounded protest, but Maria cuts it short with a hand over my mouth.

“I don’t need any benevolent lies. You yourself should be able to tell that we aren’t special anymore.”

“………Ungh.”

“You’re about to kill Koudai Kamiuchi. He may be an NPC, but I know that once you murder someone, there’s no going back to your old values. You’ll change even more. Your peculiar attachment to your normal life will wane, and you’ll become like everyone else—unable to fully use a Box. What do you think will happen then?”

Maria tells me.

“O won’t be interested in you anymore.”

Her hand is no longer covering my mouth, but I remain silent.

“O going away is a welcome prospect. I should be happy for you, too. But in my heArt_of hearts, I can’t truly appreciate the thought. Not because it means losing my lead on a Box. It’s because if you don’t interest O anymore, then—

“—I’ll lose my justification for being with you.”

After she gives her reason, Maria rests her head against my shoulder.

“If O stops pursuing you, then I’ll have to leave your side. It’s that simple. If I don’t, I won’t be able to complete my mission.”

Oh, so that’s what it is.

Maria has been afraid of this since yesterday—even before that.

Namely—

—saying good-bye.

“Kazuki, I won’t stop you anymore.”

Maria removes her head from my shoulder.

“The truth is, I shouldn’t have stopped you. I have no right to, nor any need to. I thought I knew this whole time, but still.”

Her smile is kind and resigned as she says:

“Staying together with you was just a fantasy.”

“—”

I turn back toward the monitor, unable to look her in the face.

Underneath the words WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD? on the screen, my mind adds, Will you accept this good-bye with Maria Otonashi?

“……No way.”

I could never accept that.

What the hell? Protecting Maria means I have to let her go? I know if we leave each other, she’ll be all alone with her misery. And yet, it’s still the only way?

“I can’t stand the thought of you dying. It pains me. I hate it. It hurts. I want to be with you.”

Why am I always so powerless?

I can’t do anything despite knowing Maria Otonashi’s feelings for me……

…Another way must exist. I’m a knight; there must be someone I can cut down to rescue the imprisoned Maria.

Who the hell could ever banish Maria to solitude like this?

I think. Think, think, thinkthinkthinkthink—

“—Ah.”

………So that’s it.

“—Ahhh!”

I know. I finally know my enemy!

Why didn’t I notice? They’ve been so near me all this time. I knew this. I’ve always thought of this person as an enemy!

My confusion dispelled, I reach out for the monitor again. One last time, I read the words WILL YOU CUT DOWN KOUDAI KAMIUCHI WITH DEATH BY SWORD? and the decision is effortless.

Sure.

The word KILL? is still written across the picture of Koudai Kamiuchi, and I tap it.

“—Oh.” A sigh escapes Maria. “So the fantasy is over.”

“You’re wrong.”

I’ve become an unabashed murderer, and I am indeed different now.

Yes, the normal life I want to protect is different now.

If that drives O away, and Maria realizes this, I’m sure she’ll try to leave.

But—

“Right now, the Maria here with me doesn’t have the Misbegotten Happiness.”

—if things go as planned, she will escape from the Game of Indolence without ever having to view a Replay.

She’ll never remember this conversation. ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ʙʏ ɴovᴇl(ꜰ)ir(e).nᴇt

She’ll never know this Box changed me.

“And a Maria without the Misbegotten Happiness isn’t a Box.”

Maria’s round eyes suggest she’s struggling to grasp my meaning.

“During the second game, I told you it’s my role to protect you when you don’t have your Box. I plan to follow through on that. So I’ll continue to keep you safe from evil.”

“…Evil? Do you mean like Koudai Kamiuchi?”

“Yes, of course, but he’s not the greatest enemy.”

My objective has become saving Maria.

Who has been the greatest hindrance in the Game of Indolence—since even before?

What odious foe convinced Maria that throwing her life away was her only option?

Maria shouldn’t need my help to survive, per se. Someone with her abilities shouldn’t have much trouble winning Kingdom Royale.

But Maria will absolutely never kill anyone, no matter what. If it comes down to it, she’ll throw away her own life instead. That’s why she doesn’t have the slightest chance of victory in this game.

As a knight, I once swore I would betray everything, turn all and sundry against me, in order to save Maria.

In response, Maria said that with patience as her only virtue, she would await my arrival.

Maria must be aware of her situation, if only just subconsciously. She must know she’s imprisoned. That she can’t resolve her situation on her own.

Who has taken her captive? Who is trying to make her king? Who do I have to strike down to save her?

I finally know.

“It’s Aya Otonashi.”

That is the name of my foe.

I once faced her for a lifetime, and I will fight her from here on.

“I will defeat Aya Otonashi. I will teach her that no despair is too great to be resolved in a normal life. I will show her she doesn’t need to use a Box, and I will defeat her.”

If I do, this won’t be good-bye for us.

C’mon… Don’t bring Maria into this, Aya Otonashi. The only one who can’t be with me is you.

“—What are you saying?”

Maria’s eyes are wide with shock.

I can see why she’d react like this. Amid those days of repetition, Maria was able to create Aya Otonashi, the idealized version of herself she longed to become. Yet, here I am saying I’ll destroy all of that.

“Is that—your way of declaring war on me?”

I smile and reply, “Not at all.”

If I said what I did to the Maria in the real world, it might actually be a declaration of war. And then, if Maria knew my intent, she might leave me.

But we’re in Kingdom Royale. Maria won’t retain her memories here.

“I know the Maria from the very first transfer.”

Maria is still gazing at me with shock, as if she can’t understand my reasons for suddenly saying such a thing.

“I’ve lost almost all my memories from back then. But I remember a Maria who wasn’t fully Aya Otonashi yet. And I remember what she said.”

I tell her.

I repeat what Maria said back then, standing there on the dais.

“I want someone to stand beside me.”

Maria closes her mouth and stares at me.

“Maria. You aren’t a Box now. That’s why I want to hear it from you. I want to hear how you truly feel, not as Aya Otonashi but as Maria Otonashi.”

“……Kazuki.”

For just a moment, her mouth softens gently, but a severe expression soon follows. She purses her lips and turns her back on me.

“I know more or less what you want from me. But I won’t say it. You can tell me I’m not Aya Otonashi now all you like, but I can never go back to being who I once was. I thought I wanted to be a Box, and I still do. Saying what you want me to say would mean rejecting that decision. So—”

She clenches her fists.

“So I can’t say it.”

Maria spells it out:

“I can’t ask you to help lonely Maria Otonashi.”

Yeah.

That’s good enough.

I know full well how you feel.

Now I’m prepared to devote my all to defeating Aya Otonashi.

“You won’t be alone, Maria. I won’t let you.”

Suddenly, a thought pops into my head.

I know the Maria from the first transfer. But the Maria back then was already an owner; she just wasn’t fully Aya Otonashi yet. She was already a Maria possessed of tremendous will.

Is that the original “Maria Otonashi,” though?

I don’t think so. The original was probably a much more normal person.

That means I don’t know the Maria Otonashi who’s just a girl one year younger than me.

I don’t know the one from when there were no times, when she had yet to transfer even once.

That girl is probably still in tears somewhere inside Maria. At the bottom of the sea in Maria’s chest.

All by herself.

That’s why I’m going to see her.

“I’ll go meet the zeroth Maria.”

I’ll greet her, bring her back, embrace her, and stay with her forever.

I believe this will be Maria’s definition of happiness, and I’ll make it happen.

Maria has stopped clenching her fists. I can’t read her emotions from her melancholy expression or downcast eyes.

With a deliberate lack of emotion, Maria walks up to me unsteadily and presses her head into my chest.

“…I will become a Box. I will live for the sake of others… That’s why I’m begging you, please just stop this. Don’t try to protect me.”

She says this nonsense in a faint voice I’ve never heard from her before.

That’s why I answer, “I understand. I’ll go and meet her no matter what.”

“…You…don’t understand at all, do you? I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to suffer by getting involved with me. That’s why you should get away as quickly as possible.”

“It’s okay. I’ll stay with you.”

“Leave… Please just leave…”

No way. I can’t comply with that. After all, my enemy is saying it, right?

So, in defiance, I wrap my arms around Maria.

No one would ever call her robust, not even by mistake, but as I embrace her slender form, I’m surprised by how fragile she feels yet again.

But this is the last time for that.

This is how she should feel. Maria Otonashi is just a girl a little younger than I am, so this is what she feels like.

“Maria.”

Though I say her name, Maria doesn’t reply. She just keeps her head pressed into me so that I can’t see the look on her face.

I’m sure the expression buried in my chest is one she would never, ever make in the real world. She’s making the same face she once told herself she must never make, when she swore she would never depend on anyone else.

She’s most likely showing this side because this Maria doesn’t have her Box. Because she is in Kingdom Royale, she’s revealing the barest glimpse of those inner feelings that her real self has on total lockdown.

My words might be able to reach Maria Otonashi now.

They might be able to reach her undiluted, with no interference from Aya Otonashi.

I open my mouth to speak—

“Kazuki.”

—but she beats me to the punch. She hugs me around my back with trembling arms and says, “Even still, this is just a fantasy.”

I know that.

So I’m going to change that fate.