Chapter 938: This time, I promise.
"What do you want me to do with this regret?"
If honesty was what Nina wanted, could Finn be honest now? Or was it too late, and there was no way he could change her decision?
To be fair, Finn knew he could ask all of this in the hospital, where he looked ten times more sickly and pitiful. Knowing Nina, she wouldn’t have the heart to hurt someone as vulnerable as him. However, just as she mentioned, he didn’t want the situation to cloud her judgment.
Manipulation was something he could do, but he didn’t want to manipulate her. Finn didn’t want this one relationship to be tainted with manipulation, benefits, or insincerity—just like all the relationships he had.
"Nina." Another jagged breath escaped his lips as he cupped her face. He lowered his head until his forehead rested against hers. His lips quivered as he tried to speak.
"I didn’t know separation would come to us... and for days, I’ve been thinking about how it came to this," he expressed with a heavy heart. "I know the reason: the love wasn’t enough. Perhaps it was lacking. Your words, however, didn’t sink in until... I almost lost everything before I could say what I couldn’t tell you."
Slowly, Finn drew his head back, eyes holding hers. "I’m sorry for everything. I can’t live like someone who doesn’t know you. I don’t think I can meet new people and go on like nothing ever happened."
"I missed you—would you even know how my heart feels, like it was going to explode with all these unfinished words I couldn’t tell you?" he continued, his voice shaking. All these words were leaving his mouth without going through his mind, unlike usual. Instead, they were coming straight from his heart.
"I hated you... I kept telling myself I hated you for making me feel emotions I never thought I should feel. But I..." he trailed off as another tear rolled down his cheek. "...but I love you, and I stupidly thought we’d be together till the end, even if I didn’t do anything. I was confident, cocky—arrogant, to think that I would be fine."
"I am not fine, and I would never be fine. I don’t want you to leave me. I am not fine, so even if I have to beg you on my knees for another chance—just one last chance—I would do it." Finn pressed his lips together as he sniffed hard, watching as tears began to form in her eyes, staining her cheeks. "Let’s not be sad anymore, Nina. If we’re going to be sad, can we be sad together? Can you struggle through life with me? Can you please... not leave me because I... really love you."