Chapter 188 - 182. The Thing That’s Due
If only bad thoughts were just like human waste, and they could be easily discharged from oneself by throwing them up.
If only it was that easy.
His gut, his lungs, his throat; everything felt like they were burning. He poured the content of his stomach until everything that came out was nothing more than colorless liquid, and still, everything burned.
He hacked, he wheezed, he coughed again and again, wishing that everything inside his mind could just be thrown up and flushed away. But they were still there, and now his eyes burned too.
The chamber was cold, and the dry floor was damp. And still, it couldn’t get rid of the burn eating away at his soul. Even when his skin got colder and colder.
Colder, until a pair of warm arms pulled him away from the floor, circling him, stuffing him inside an embrace so warm and soothing at the same time that Zein felt he didn’t deserve it. Those arms wrapped around him like a protective blanket, pressing him against a chest as sturdy as a barrier. And when Zein felt his cheek touch a wide shoulder, he shook.
His rapid heartbeat was slowing down, his shallow breath grew deeper. He heard the sound of his name, so soft and gentle and full of affection, calling out to him, pulling him from the mire of rotten filth. A caress on his hair, a face buried in his hair, a pair of lips pressing hard on his temple, and he broke.
"...’m sorry," Zein whimpered, weakly, clutching the arms holding him safe. His eyes were burning. "I’m sorry..."
"It’s alright," Bassena whispered against the trembling head, tightening his hold around the shaking body. "It’s alright."
He grasped the guide’s neck and caressed the messy black hair, pulling Zein even closer to him; to his chest, to his arms, to the warmth he was willing to share for the rest of his life.
"It’s just...it’s just a bad thought," Bassena said, still in a very soft voice that came from deep inside his heart.