Chapter 43 - 42. Drowning in the Dark (M)
For Zein, guiding was like opening a faucet, sending out a steady stream of water to flush the filth that was the corroding miasma. In his most controlled state, the water would come out constant and steady, and the espers would feel the comfortable sensation of a very stable ride.
The first time that steadfastness broke after more than a decade was, probably, during the cave incident, where Zein had to guide Bassena in frenzy, pouring down everything harshly due to the time constraint. But he had no leeway to remember how it felt amid all the pain and the frenzy.
The second time it happened, it was brief and clear. He felt the rush, the way the stream came like a torrent, and had to stop from the sheer shock of it.
The next time he kissed Bassena, however, Zein had prepared for it, and had gained control over the instinct. So he thought, when they actually had sex, he’d be able to control it too.
He was naïve.
From the moment the bulbous tip pressed into his entrance, the stream came out strong, and he couldn’t help the loud gasp that came. The amber eyes stared at him, watching keenly, as if measuring a battlefield.
Yeah, it was a battlefield for Zein too. He prepared to swim harshly inside the sea of darkness, but he slipped from the first step already.
But he didn’t tell the esper to stop, and Bassena pushed in steadily, all the while never shifting his gaze from Zein’s eyes. The way those amber eyes gleamed was sending flames throughout the guide’s senses; it was contagious, just like the attachment he carried.
And Zein found himself unable to avert the keen gaze, even while his body tensing, and his breath shortening. There was a fire blazing in his groin, the slight burn of the stretch his walls should accommodate. And yet his mind wandered to the sharp-shaped eyes, the three scales embedded like jewels, the straight eyebrows and slight scar above it, the platinum strands falling over the forehead that contrasted beautifully with the dark bronze skin...
This man was fine—Zein couldn’t help but admit it as he received the gaze that tried to pierce through his mind. Sure, he’d admit it now, that he had let this younger man sway him. For now, for this moment, he would indulge this man.
No—he would indulge himself.