Chapter 2 - 1. The Red in the Red-Zone
Zen had thought he was already desensitized to destruction.
From the day Umbra got him his fake license with a new name ZEN written on it, he had come into countless dungeons and massacres. He had guided espers in the middle of blood and miasma.
He thought nothing would faze him anymore.
But as he stared at the smoke and fire and the cloud of miasma behind the barricade, he was frozen. He was reminded of the first time Umbra brought him inside the dungeon. He was thirteen. He came inside with a clean uniform. He came out drenched in blood.
He remembered the dread and fear gripping him from the four-days excursion. The many nights he spent in nightmares, how much stomach content he threw up across the week, how much beating he received for failing to do any guiding during the next month.
What he felt right now was very close to that time.
As he stood there, he remembered the event four days ago, when one of Umbra's executives came to him, asking—hiring—him to go to the dungeon. Zen had refused then; he was just freed from the suffocating contract, and he wasn't about to waste it on another job right away.
Now, seeing the fleeting shadow of rampaging beasts inside the emergency barricade, Zen couldn't help but think...if he came to the dungeon, would it be different?
He was but a mere guide, but a guide could make the difference between esper's availability to keep fighting. It was conceited to think one guide like him could make a difference, but there was a thought, guilt, a wish that maybe...just maybe...the outcome would be different.
That the destruction in front of him could be avoided.
With that though, he walked dazedly towards the barricade. But before he could even touch the fence, his shoulder was grabbed strongly, and he was yanked back.