Chapter 148: Midday sky
Something catches my eye, and my breath stills in my chest. Lying in the corner, nearly hidden among the worn, scattered belongings, is a small dress. The fabric is simple but lovingly stitched, the kind of dress meant for a toddler. I fall to my knees, clutching it in my hands like the most precious material in the world. Because it is.
I press the tiny garment to my chest, my vision blurring as the teenage girl’s words replay in my mind. Noelle had our child. Our child. The realization crashes over me, a tidal wave of emotion so overwhelming I can’t breathe. I laugh—a strangled, choked sound—and then a sob tears through me. I laugh and cry, my heart breaking and swelling all at once.
A daughter. We have a daughter. I’m a father.
The thought is exhilarating and gut-wrenching all at once. It hurts so deeply that I wasn’t there for her, for Noelle. The sheer weight of what he must have gone through, alone and afraid, pierces me. My beloved star... how did you bear it? How terrified you must have been, bringing our child into the world in these conditions, with no one to protect you, to hold your hand, to reassure you. I ache with the realization of how I failed you, the grief and guilt cutting through me like a knife.
I clutch the little dress tighter, as if the simple action could somehow bring me closer to the child I’ve never met, the family I should have been here to protect. My hands tremble as I try to picture her. Would she have Noelle’s luminous eyes? His laugh? His radiant smile?
This is not how it was supposed to go. My shoulders shake with the sorrow of it. I want to scream, to yell at the universe for the cruel twist of fate that tore us apart. Some alpha husband I turned out to be, failing to protect the ones I love most. I don’t even know if Noelle was safe, if he made it through the birth without complications, if our daughter is okay.
I hug the tiny dress to my chest, my heart breaking under the weight of this impossible, precious love. Even though she isn’t here, even though I haven’t met her yet, I know in this moment that I will tear apart the world to make things right. I will find them.
I close my eyes and picture my little girl, the teenage girl told me she has blue eyes and raven hair. My eyes. I can’t help but wonder what else she inherited from us, what little pieces of Noelle and me live on in her. I let out a shaky laugh, but it turns into something choked and broken. My thoughts spiral back to a memory, vivid as the winter chill on the hill, back when life was simpler, before everything crumbled.
**Three years ago.*