Chapter 127 - 127: Annette's Therapy Session
"Ms. Petra, this is a safe space, and this therapy session is to talk about your breakdown," said Dr. Natsumi Kitagawa, the therapist assigned by Ruth's court order.
"All right, Doctor, let's start," said Annette, flopping down on the couch.
"First, tell me about the breakdown. What caused it?" asked Natsumi, ready to take notes.
"Fear and anger mostly. My ex-husband and his shark lawyer changed the alimony terms to dictate exactly how I spend that money, because he thinks I'm going to use it on things other than what Mikaela needs! When my lawyer came to give me the updated accounts, Mikaela basically tried to bribe her to set up a visit for my ex! And when that didn't work, she called her friend, whose father is my ex's lawyer, and then asked him to set one up! Right in front of me, and him, and her friend, and our neighbor across the street! I couldn't refuse! And that pissed me off even more! I'm being treated like an unruly child! In my own house!" ranted Annette.
"I see. Tell me about your ex-husband. Why do you not want him to see Mikaela?" asked Natsumi, taking notes.
"He has turned into a chauvinistic pig who spoils Mikaela rotten by buying her expensive gifts and treating her like a damn princess! I'm trying my best here to raise her right, but every fancy-ass gift, every visitation where he keeps calling her princess, undermines weeks of my careful parenting," said Annette.
"Can you give me a concrete incident?" asked Natsumi.
"Oh yes I can," said Annette, and recounted how Ivan had sent Mikaela a new computer for her tenth birthday, and more recently, sent an "upgrade" for it.
"I see. So your ex-husband sent your daughter a computer for her tenth birthday, and you disapproved of it because it was too big, and too expensive. If you were to give Mikaela a computer, what would it be and how much would it cost?" asked Natsumi.
"Well, I don't actually know much about computers, I would have gotten her a MacBook or something similar. Not something that comes in a million boxes with assembly required," said Annette.
"What did you get her for her tenth birthday?" asked Natsumi.
"I got her a plush toy, seemed age appropriate," said Annette with a shrug.
"Why didn't you get her a computer? Mikaela would be entering fifth grade where computers would be a requirement," probed Natsumi.
"I wanted to wait until she was older. She could always use the school computers," said Annette defensively.
"OK, you mentioned princess treatment. What does that entail?" asked Natsumi.
"The word 'no' does not seem to be in his vocabulary when he deals with Mikaela! She wants ice-cream? He asks what flavor, she wants meat? He just buys it. About the only thing he takes somewhat seriously is her studies, but everything else? He indulges her every whim to the point where he makes my reasonable refusals sound like I'm a damn tyrant!" raged Annette.
"You mentioned that he is chauvinistic. How does that manifest?" asked Natsumi.
"Hmm, let's see. He refused to drive our electric car when we were married because he prefers a gas guzzler, the electric car is in my name at his insistence. He pushed rigid gender-based literature and media, despite my attempts at a giving a more neutral and inclusive environment. Me threatening divorce was the only thing that stopped him from treating me and Mikaela like his personal dress-up dolls, and then to make matters worse, he got a second job at Sirius Software, rubbed his new paycheck in my face, and that was the last straw! I could no longer live with a man who works for a company that is as regressive and controversial as Sirius Software," said Annette.
"Hmm. OK. Here's what I want you to do, Ms. Petra. I want you to go home, and write exactly who or what your daughter should be, and bring it for our next session," said Natsumi.
---
Natsumi tried not to let her anger show, as she looked over the assignment Annette had handed her.
"Let me see if I understand this correctly. You want Mikaela to grow up as a social justice activist or even better, as a feminist academic," she said.
"Anything wrong with that?" asked Annette defensively.
"Everything! You're projecting pretty much your entire political viewpoint, all your personal preferences, and even your taste in clothing, onto a ten-year-old girl! Are you telling me you don't know how wrong that is?" asked Natsumi incredulously.
"I am not here to listen to you, or anyone else criticize how I raise my own daughter! My ex-husband does that quite enough!" hissed Annette, springing to her feet.
Natsumi held up her hands.
"All right, all right. Think of it this way. You resented your ex-husband because he was treating you as a what did you call it? Yes, a dress-up doll. How do you think Mikaela feels when you make her wear pronoun bracelets and buy her unisex clothing?" she asked, trying to make Annette see her point of view.
"That's neither here nor there. I'm the adult, Mikaela is the child entrusted to my care. She has to live under my rules," said Annette stiffly.
"Yes, but she doesn't have to like it. So, she acts out. She goes behind your back to get to her father, she attaches to people whom she feels she can be more herself with, than with you. You can enforce whatever rules you want, Annette. But unless Mikaela understands them and agrees with them, you're going to have a rebellion on your hands every day," said Natsumi.
"Tell me something I don't know, doctor! I've tried to explain my viewpoints to Mikaela, but she stubbornly refuses to engage, and actively goes in the opposite direction!" snapped Annette.
"OK, have you tried separating politics from parenting? Mikaela is ten years old. She still has a limited and simplistic view of the world. Complex ideologies are going to go over her head, no matter how you simplify them," suggested Natsumi.
Annette flopped down with a weary sigh.
"How far does this patient confidentiality go?" she asked.
"It's ironclad. Unless I'm forced by a court, you're secrets are safe," said Natsumi.
"OK. In that case, let me tell you something. Mikaela isn't my first child. I already tried the moderate parenting route, and my firstborn turned into a monster, so I'm never making that mistake again," said Annette.
"Your firstborn?" asked Natsumi, surprised.
"Yeah, he's the damn reason the Sirius Zone has been carved out of Massachusetts," said Annette bitterly.
"I... see," said Natsumi cautiously, making a note.
"Yeah, so I'm not letting up on the politics, Doc. It's all I have left," said Annette, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I need a little more on what happened between you and your firstborn, Annette," said Natsumi.
With a sigh, Annette recounted the story of how she and Ivan disagreed over Aaron's developing tastes and personality, and how it finally ended with Aaron's emancipation, and Ivan's reconnection years later.
"That... is a lot to take in. All right Annette, we'll end the session here. I've got a lot of research to do before our next one," said Natsumi.