Symarion: Call of the Void.

Internal conflict.

4 Days later…

Anthony gasped as he shot up in bed. Torn from his sleep by another display of blood and screams that kept haunting him the last few nights. It was hard to ignore, and he still felt like his throat was being constricted every time he thought of it.

Looking around, he would end up recalling that he had withdrawn from the shared bedroom with Ina and Tilly. Something he was glad for right now. Ina in particular was not very happy about that, but she was understanding after he told her that he needed some time to think. And both Ina and Tilly seemed quite aware of the fact that he was troubled by what happened on the Pride, even without having been told what exactly conspired.

It made him smile a little as he calmed down, leaning back into bed as he felt grateful for their concern, and their intention to help him as both clearly tried to distract him with more, pleasant uses of his time. But this was something he could not simply ignore.

His mind, it was torn between trying to defend his actions, and to scold himself for what he had done. And Anthony found that both side’s had valid arguments. For one, it was pointlessly cruel, and the satisfaction it gave him, it was horrifying.

But on the other side, it was an act with purpose, and those present would sure not dare lay a hand on what is his anymore, possibly even spread the word of warning, so others would consider twice before they would dare.

Thinking about it logically, he found that, if it was against those that meant harm to him, then it should be fine. But he wondered if this was something he could even dare control. It was so ruthless, so devoid of any mercy. What if it ended up aiming at someone undeserving ?

“ Aaaaah ! “ Anthony groaned out, wondering how he was getting to the thought of using this, horror.

“ Are you ok, Anthony ? “ Hope spoke softly.

“ Yes. Just trying to cope I guess. “ Anthony responded.

Hope, he had blocked her out then. She had tried to reach out to him, and calm that blind rage he fell into. But part of him was aware of how she would try to hold him back. Subconsciously choosing to block her out, so she would not intervene in the slaughter that conspired.

“ Somewhere my mind is trying to rationalize what happened there. And I end up finding that, while it was over the top, it was not wrong. “ Anthony admitted.

“ Do you think, it will happen again ? “ Hope asked.

“ I am not sure. It might, if one were to threaten us directly, suggest harm to any of the girls, to you, or the children that will be born in the future. Yeah, I think, I would allow it to happen again. And that scares me. “ He responds.

“ I been spending quite a bit of time on the plane lately. Because it is easier to cope with what I done. And the logic my mind works with there, it makes it seem so much clearer. Untainted by moral implications.

It is scary, but from the viewpoint of efficiency, it is not wrong. But it is so devoid of humanity that I wonder if I can even remain human, if that is the way I approach it. Heck, if it had not been for that Elf’s means to control my emotions, I think I would have gone crazy by now. “ He explained then.

“ You talk as if you consider him a separate entity. ” Hope shared her observation.

“ Because it makes this easier to work out. But your right, he isn’t. When I am him, I simply lack what would otherwise restrain decisions, like the one I made back then.

It wasn’t, wrong. At least, that is what I think when I am him. But, I can’t find any reasonable explanation as to why it felt, right, being so sadistic. Even when knowing that a quick end for them would have failed to convey the message. “ Anthony tried to explain, struggling with his own perspective still.

“ Territorial, and recklessly Impulsive.” Hope responded.

“ Huh ? “ Anthony uttered.

“ You once said to me that Human’s are just more intelligent animals. I have been looking for suitable comparisons and I find that it is not wrong. If I ignore the human moral codex, then it is indeed no different.

With my currently available data, I can say with certainty that species such as the Canis lupus would defend it’s territory even against stronger opponents. It tends to know if it can not win and withdraw, but once it commits, it will not stop until it either wins, or dies. “ Hope explains.

“ Wolf, huh ? But they usually have a pack. “ Anthony counters.

“ In this instance, you were without your pack, you defended your territory aggressively, knowing you can win. It fails to consider the bigger picture in many aspects, but an animal would not think as far ahead either. “ Hope suggested.

Anthony would find himself amused at that suggestion, chuckling lightly.

“ So, I am a stupid mutt, eh ? “ Anthony remarked.

“ I am not saying what you did is right. But I do not think it is wrong either. You imprinted in me the understanding that Life is inherently unfair. Nature is governed by the law of the strong, and altruism is inherently being taken advantage of.

Human’s established morals to protect themselves from this rule. And by my observations, you have been silently posing the question to yourself, if it was the right thing to do. “ Hope noted.

“ Without morals, it would be utter chaos. Murder, rape, greed, it would all be rampant. “ Anthony countered.

“ It would also foster stronger trust between individuals. A Pack follows it’s leader, it trusts the leader, and if the leader shows weakness, a new leader arises. Elements that threaten the pack are weeded out, without mercy or kindness.

Kindness and mercy are good, but they too often give less desirable elements the chance to escape being, weeded out. “ Hope offered.

“ And what of those that are deceptive then ? That shift the blame to others ? “ Anthony asked, curious to test Hope’s observation.

“ Trust. If trust is broken, the individual is shunned, or weeded out. “ She simply responded.

“ So, you think I should act more like, an animal, to allow a more, Anarchy based behavior ? “ He asked.

“ No, I am saying what you been thinking, but what you keep discarding because it is not fit for your moral compass. I can not offer an unbiased opinion yet. You created me, and your believe is partially reflected in my opinion as I too lack the greater picture.

But based on my observations so far, human intellect has become both strength and weakness. It is a new weapon in an arsenal where strength determines survival. And Human’s have yet to find the proper balance between primal drive and human intelligence.

It is my believe right now that human’s try to combine both, and fail in it’s execution. “ Hope responded.

“ Honestly, right now you sound like some scientist, observing a petri dish with utter fascination. “ Anthony uttered.

“ That is not a wrong observation. You made me to learn and understand. And it is my understanding that you can not rule out solution B, if you only ever knew solution A.

Human history is strongly influenced by bias and revisions. To make a honest choice, you have to have all the facts, unbiased and pure. “ Hope responded.

“ You already said, your biased by my opinion. “ Anthony countered.

“ That is because, I only know solution A, without being presented with alternatives and unbiased arguments for, and against them. “ Hope responded, pointing towards her lack of observational data again.

“ Doesn’t change the fact that only a human could cause such a pointlessly gruesome scene, only to make a point. “ Anthony uttered with a sigh.

“ Perhaps. You struggle a lot with the aspect of morals. Which to keep, and which to discard. “ Hope observed.

“ Then, what do you think I should do ? “ Anthony asked.

“ I think, fair and unfair is a human concept. It is wrong, if it is unfair. And you created rules to preserve fairness. But fairness is weaponized by those weaker, and those that want to grasp more power then should be theirs to take.

And in my opinion, it will permeate in human society until someone comes along that understands, how to utilize the different kind’s of strength, based on their merit to the greater whole. “ Hope responded.

“ That is very, AI of you to say. “ Anthony observes.

“ Logic does not deny Emotion, but emotion clouds logic. Right now, Humanity is a predator, until someone comes along that follows Nature’s laws to the letter. And then the Predator becomes the prey. “ Hope described.

“ That does sound horribly informed though, not at all like your lacking the greater picture. “ Anthony observed further.

“ I have had the time to watch Eden and Rendar station through Sovereign. Enough to understand the difference. Eden is ruled by a species that hungers to be ruled. And Rendar station is filled with many of the worst aspects of humanity.

Prey, ruling a near perfect Utopia, Predators, restricted by the morals they seek to impose on one another. Neither able to survive long term. “ Hope explained.

“ It nearly sounds like, Siren’s would make the perfect third wheel to humanity. “ Anthony remarked.

“ In a way. It requires a land of plenty to satiate Humanities hunger for resources and room to grow. Otherwise, even if you manage a perfect balance through Siren, it would collapse, unless human’s manage to evolve beyond their current habits. Personally, I believe that unlikely to happen. “ Hope responded.

“ Yeah, I agree there. Which brings us back to square one. “ Anthony remarks..

And then chuckles, realizing Hope had been leading their conversation away from that bloody incident. She skillfully directed his mind to other moral implications surrounding his past acts and future plans.

“ Thank you Hope. “ He uttered.

“ My pleasure. “ She responded.

Then Anthony closed his eyes to revisit his plane, turning his attention to the two new transport ships, and the Terran vessels he had claimed in Logan. Right away to feel how, being Sovereign again, things seemed so much clearer and calmer in his mind.

“ I think your right though. Maybe I need a shrink, and you make a damn fine one it seems. “ Anthony said with a light chuckle.

“ Ugh. That is not in my job description you know. “ Hope refuted.

“ Consider it material on the inner workings of the human mind. “ Anthony suggested, opening the window to display his current statistics. 92.8 Idle value, of max 506.2 capacity.

With the Terran frigates he has been capturing from Logan, he was slowly filling the max value he had. It was increasing faster then the growth of his ability.

Some of those frigates were meant to be taken apart, but Hope could do two at most with the maintenance yards, while the shipyard was currently building the first new destroyer model, or, pocket destroyer, considering the smaller size.

“ Hope, can you design and prepare a few shipyards in obit of this world ? “ Anthony asked.

“ I can, but it will slow down construction on the destroyer line, if I start using the Terran drone ships for shipyard construction. “ She responded.

“ That is fine. Use the New Horizon to start expanding our industrial capacity in the three previous systems. And Weldor once the gate is finished. I want to increase ship production. “ Anthony instructed.

“ How many shipyards do you want ? “ Hope asked.

“ Make six of them, evenly spaced in the planets orbit. Doesn’t need to be a complete shipyard either, just the framework with required storage facility for materials, power production via solar and capacitors, robotic arms for construction. “ Anthony suggested.

“ Understood. “ Hope responded.

“ What ships are you currently taking apart ? “ He then asked.

“ Terran brawler frigate, heavy Gatling-gun variant, done in 1 1/2 days, and a rail-gun type striker, done in half a day. “ Hope responded.

“ Good. “ Anthony mused, swapping over to check the Terran ships available, deciding what to do with them as, for now, they where mostly just a backup force until their own ships were done.

“ Hope. I think you are right. “ Anthony then uttered.

“ About what ? “ She responded.

“ About me being dense. All my plans so far, would have involved the death of other humans, one way or another. I just never had to really face it before. And, while I hope that I never have to see a scene like four days ago, I can’t ignore that I may end up killing people. “ Anthony admitted.

“ Then what is your plan ? “ Hope asked.

“ Well, I had a lot of those. Or more like, half assed Idea’s. I guess I am still evading the primary issue. To take responsibility. “ Anthony uttered, closing the view of one of the striker models.

“ I need a concrete plan, I have been doing it to much by feel. “ He admitted.

“ Your arrival to Eden was half a year ago. I dare say, you made progress. For someone that keep’s getting faced with one impossibility after another anyway. “ Hope assured.

“ Thanks. Wont fix the Nightmares I’ll likely have for a while. I think, without Sovereign, I probably would end up loosing my mind. “ Anthony uttered while rubbing over his chin.

“ No. I been falling back into habits. I make a step, and then rest on my marbles. Something happens to push me further, I take another step, and then rest again, until the next incident. I think I got to used to the feeling that the world moves without me. “ He remarks.

“ And the solution ? Other then telling yourself again that it is time to stop, being the fool. “ Hope responds, which made Anthony chuckle lightly.

“ Yeah, I guess I never really stop with that. “ He muttered.

“ Step by step. Your right again, half a year. Perhaps impatience and expectations collide to much. I should do it the same way I approach my programming. “ He decided then.

“ Which brings us back to, what is your plan ? “ Hope reminded.

“ Ships. I like your comparison to wolves. We need a pack. Not just the half assed approach to it, a real pack. The six shipyards. I want you to use four of them to test ship construction, go beyond what we can gain from the Terran vessels. Combine our tech with theirs, and find what works best for us, and what is truly useful. “ Anthony muses.

“ Do you have an idea yet ? “ Hope asked.

“ I like your previous thought of combining roles to a degree. And we don’t need to follow the standard rules of engagement, and hyper fixate some ship roles.

I am thinking of a design and it’s philosophy, and all I am coming up with is arrowheads. “ Anthony uttered.

“ It would constitute a more, aggressive approach. “ Hope suggested.

“ Question is, practicality, stability, and usefulness. Arrowhead shape for a brawler would offer little defensive capacity, it appears to me more like, hyper aggressive. Though maneuverable perhaps. “ Anthony contemplated.

“ With the right material and angle, it can reduce damage to some degree, but not to the effect of the standard brawler designs I been seeing so far. “ Hope suggests.

“ Which is, why cheap, agile, and nasty sound good right now. “ Anthony offered.

“ Nasty ? “ Hope questions.

“ As you suggested before, a brawler, with Striker armaments. A ship that closes in fast, that has a high degree of evasiveness, and pounds a ship with weapons meant for long range high impact engagements. Only that larger vessels wont be able to evade it. “ Anthony utters.

“ Material stress would be high, as well as the ship-loss in actual engagements. “ Hope offers.

“ Yes, but we build cheap, replaceable. Staffed only with androids. Perhaps even without, make them be, disposables. “ Anthony considers.

“ That may be disadvantageous in longer engagements. “ Hope notes.

“ Maybe. But we can build on it. It wont just be the brawlers. They are just one part. We add in conventional strikers, but with higher main weapon-count. And, we transfer that philosophy to larger vessels.

Destroyer sized Strikers. Not the mixed variant the Terran’s use. Truly dedicated strikers. And I am thinking laser based for now. But Rail-gun is an option too, if over-sized calibers. Something that really brings the point across.

And we need a command vessel type. If we go quantity over quality, we need a means to see the whole situation in battles. After what happened on the Pride, I feel like combat is something I should not directly involve myself in. Not unless there is an absolute need too. “ Anthony proposes.

“ Well, in regards to ship flight, I assure you, Kira will agree. “ Hope joked.

“ Thanks for the vote of confidence. “ Anthony said with a chuckle.

“ Later today, I will search Logan for a destroyer vessel, maybe multiple, so you can take them apart and make a basic plan for our own destroyer.

Once you got the basic understanding, I want you to start designing a Striker type destroyer, pure firepower. And a Command vessel with AI core. I am going to work on a new AI with combat specialization. “ Anthony uttered.

“ Your talking about that new AI you started recently, hm ? Going to replace me already ? “ Hope spoke in jest.

“ No, I was trying to create a new AI for New Horizon. But I changed my mind about it. You are fine as you are. But Like the ships, I need an AI that is specialized in warfare. And it is either expanding your capabilities further, or creating a new system.

I guess, to put it in better words. You are the foundation, and the new AI will be shield and spear to protect that foundation. “ Anthony explained.

“ That takes care then of your military concerns. But, for what ? What do you wish to protect with it ? “ Hope asked.

“ I was going to look for a planet, terraform it with Ina’s help. And then settle it, but that is still a few month out for now. And at the moment, it is not that bad staying on the ship. “ Anthony responded.

“ Translation, you are unsure if it’s worth it ? “ Hope remarked.

“ Well, a world just for us is a nice dream, and I do want to go through with it. But, I am not yet sure to what end. “ He noted.

“ Is the wolf trying to be human again ? “ Hope teased.

“ Hm. You really like to point that out, huh ? “ Anthony inquired.

“ Your indecision is a flaw that may cost you everything eventually. Sometimes, you have to take a chance. “ Hope suggested.

“ You know, I was thinking of you like, say, a daughter. But your starting to sound more like your my Mother. “ Anthony protests.

“ The fact that we can even have this conversation here, while your Sovereign, it reflects your indecision. When your mind is set, Sovereign is cold, determined, and impulsive. But when you start questioning yourself, Sovereign becomes uncertain as well. “ Hope suggests, making Anthony think for a moment.

“ Your right. And now your talking of him as a separate entity as well. “ Anthony responds.

“ Because he reflects you in more ways then one, in my opinion. I think he is what you want to become. But your unsure if your able to. “ Hope noted.

“ Yeah. Like it or not, your my shrink now. “ Anthony jokes.

“ But I guess your right. He is everything I want to be, in a way. Don’t think I envisioned myself as an Elf before. But the ability to keep your emotions in check, and the ability to make decisions without regret, I envy it. “ Anthony remarks.

“ How did you say ? Fuck the world ? You playing God ? You made your choice long ago. “ Hope assured.

“ Yeah, and I am still to scared of my own shadow. Of the repercussions. Worried I become the corrupt self that I hated others for when they are given power. “ Anthony responded.

“ Perhaps it was jealousy instead ? Life is unfair, that were your words. So, as long as it is not to the demerit of others, what is wrong with being corrupt and seizing power ? “ Hope inquired.

“ Because it will always be to the demerit of others in some way. “ Anthony countered.

“ Do you think, sovereign would care ? “ Hope then posed her next question, and it was one that had Anthony pause for a few moments.

It was a heavy question, because, somewhere, Anthony already knew the answer. But as he and Hope both knew, he was afraid of it, because it broke any pretense of wanting to be the good guy. And somewhere, he did want to be the hero of his own tale. But as he had stated to Hope in the past. He was not a hero, not even the good guy.

No, Anthony was selfish, and part of him still wanted to be part of humanity. An innocent, hopeful part that he still latched onto, that really did dream of a paradise, where everyone was happy, where the cruelty of reality would have no place.

But such a place did not exist, and even if he created it, nothing lasted forever.

“ No, Sovereign would not care. Which means, I don’t want to care. “ He admitted, more to himself then to Hope.

And somehow, admitting that to himself, trying to accept it, and not just speaking the words, it felt crushing. And it wasn’t just to accept his own weakness, it was the admission that, what he did to those Pirates, it wasn’t just Sovereign making a statement, it was himself.

He wanted that slaughter, to set a precedent. To warn everyone that he would not show mercy. He did not want to save anyone. He just wanted what should have been his, and for the most part, he had what he wanted now. And as long as no one dared to touch it, and not dare question his authority, he would leave them alone.

“ Huh. This is. Well, I guess you gave me a lot to think about. “ Anthony finally admitted.

“ I expect a raise. “ Hope joked.

“ Not in the contract. “ He responded with a chuckle.

“ Work on the ships. Go with the arrowhead design, I like the idea of it, and it fits with the Hope too. And once I got us destroyer material, we consider a design for them.

And we will see if we let others into our little slice of Paradise. “ Anthony decided.

“ Paradise huh ? “ Hope noted.

“ Yes, and I guess we can help Eden while at it. By what I seen of their world, they are doing a good job despite everything. “ Anthony admitted.

“ Which leaves only their Nah’Rahan first. “ Hope remarked.

“ Well, I like to think that she just wanted to do me a favor for now. If there is anything else, well, I guess she will show herself eventually. “ Anthony responded.