Heartworm

“Beats just being your teammate.”

Rather than choosing words as a response, I instead leaned forward to plant yet another kiss on Cecelia’s lips. With it came the same addictive flavor of a campfire mixed with dried blood. While I relished the taste of blood due to my nature, I wasn’t sure how Cecelia felt. Perhaps I should take care of that before I decide to kiss her again.

“Hah! As if there wasn’t any clearer evidence of the monster's manipulations!” Lucas, who seemed to have finished loading half of Sebil’s equipment onto his own back to split the weight, had clearly seen the display of affection between the two of us. Even if he didn’t, the way that we were holding each other close implied everything that you would need to make the assumption on your own. “Inthenia’s might… A bloody Life Hunter and a Deathless acting like fucking care about one another.”

“Lucas, love, I’d be careful about your accusations.” Sebil had walked up from behind Lucas to place a hand on his shoulder. In the same modem of operations that I had seen many times before, Sebil was the calming agent in the bubbling cauldron of spite that was Lucas.

“Is this not insane to you?” Lucas twisted to level his anger at Sebil, before turning towards Phern, where she stood between myself and Lucas. “You’re fucking bonkers, but even you have to see how little this makes sense! They should be hunting each other, not hunting for little kisses and courting!”

“They don’t teach love in the Empire, Pondscum?” Cecelia huffed as she pulled away from me to face him with the growing annoyance that was especially noticeable in her brows.

“YOU’RE ALL BEING INFLUENCED! Gods, I feel like I’m the only sane one here! That fucking monster has made you all protect it! Baehevar is a plague on this earth, the very desolation that almost extinguished the Empire!” Sebil moved towards Lucas once more, to attempt to reinstate his comforting presence on his shoulder. Before he could manage to do so, Lucas pushed him away without looking in his direction. Despite his eyes being covered, it was clear that he was keeping his head turned towards me out of principle.

“Why are you here, Pondscum? You could have slipped away into Thrieve while we searched. Yet you had your sights set on Bandit.” Cecelia, despite taking a defensive stance towards Lucas, slinked her hand down towards mine to intertwine her fingers. I wondered if it was for her own comfort, or if it was for me. Regardless, I appreciated having the warmth of her palm in mine.

“Because I’m trying to save you, all of you! You spared the innocents in Thrum! I swore myself to the Empire.” Lucas pulled away the top of his robes, revealing the skin of his chest. A glowing golden sigil of the Empire’s crest pulsed steadily on his chest. More interesting than the golden sigil on his chest, was the strange pattern of flesh around the small portion of revealed skin. Were they burn marks? The marks looked to have an unnatural sheen to them. Before I could investigate further, he let go of the robes, and they folded back into formation, covering his chest fully. “I want to protect the Empire! That includes the innocent people that live under it. Despite going about it in incredibly idiotic ways, the three of you seem to care for innocent life. I want to free you from this beast. I’m starting to wonder if it’s too late…”

I felt a bubbling wrath churning in my stomach. In the same way that he always did, Lucas refused to acknowledge me in the same way that he did the others. I wasn’t a part of this group in his eyes, I was the threat that was puppeteering the other three. I had saved his life! Two separate times! Yet he still believed me to be some sort of monster. When he looked at me, he felt disgusted.

“How do you feel about demons?”

“I feel disgusted.”

Was the wrath I felt towards Lucas meant for someone else? Was it the wrath I felt towards the person I used to be?

“That demon’s influence still clouds your mind…”

“We couldn’t possibly let you out as you are…”

All this talk of my influence on others. I wasn’t influencing Cecelia, Phern or Sebil. Vyra had never influenced me. It never felt like it.

‘We have not done anything of the sort to them.’

How can you be so sure? Is it just another lie of the Empire?

‘Not entirely. The ability of demons to influence others exists, but what they won’t tell you is it is extremely rare, akin to the rarity of blood magic in fact. It’s easier to spread fear about demons if everyone believes they are all capable of such manipulation. We do not possess such abilities, and though I can’t be certain, I doubt your friend Vyra had the abilities either.’

“I am not Baehevar. I’m just an unlucky student. I don’t want to tear down the Empire. I just want to live.” I squeezed Cecelia’s hand to emphasize my statement. ‘Living’ was appealing by default, but it was a lot more appealing with recent developments.

“A demon can lie as easily as it can maim.”

“I can save as easily as I can maim. You’d have been dead twice over if I hadn’t stepped in.”

My words seemed to strike some kind of chord with Lucas. He furrowed his brow in anger like he was about to let loose a response, but to my surprise, nothing came. His fists clenched, and I could see the brimming desire to let loose tensing in his arms.

“You hate it, don’t you? I don’t make any sense to you, do I? An unknown.” I could see teeth begin to clench as I spoke. “I love unknowns, because they have the potential to change your understanding at a fundamental level. I think you hate them.”

“Watch it, animal.”

“They scare you. You have your entire life built upon your foundations. What happens when something comes along to restructure those foundations?” I could tell that even Cecelia wasn’t sure what I was doing. Her hand tightening around mine as Lucas grew more upset. I could tell that she was afraid that he would attack at any moment. “A demon that saves you doesn’t click with what you learned. I understand, Lucas. I know how awful it can be to realize that everything isn’t quite as you were taught.”

I was taught that people couldn’t change. I was taught that a boy couldn’t become a girl. Realizing I had been told a lie hurt more than I could put into words. It can’t be easy to find out what you’ve been told your whole life is a lie. Clearly, Lucas was feeling that pain right now. What I couldn’t tell was which way he was leaning towards. There was a good chance that he would remain in the comfort of the known.

“It’s okay if it hurts, Lucas.”

“Not another word, beast.”

I just gave a smile to the Marked man. The anger inside of him right now burned my nose, the utter stench of hatred that mixed with confusion and betrayal was sickening. It reminded me of emotions that I never wanted to feel again. He needed those emotions out. I could see how it clawed at his mind. I let go of Cecelia’s hand and took two steps towards him.

“Go for it, Lucas. Let it out. Let the unknown in.”

The permission was all he needed. He wasted no time at all closing the distance towards me with frightening speed planting his very first punch into my gut with a guttural scream that would make you wonder if he had been the one that was injured.

“Bandit!”

“Pebblestink!”

“What are you doing, love?”

All three of their voices rang out simultaneously after Lucas had hit me for the first time. I raised my hands into the air to dissuade any of them from interrupting. Truth be told, I had meant to tell them to stay away with my words, but Lucas’ punch had taken the air out of my lungs and made speech a distant reality.

‘What on earth are you doing, little morsel?!’

I’m giving him what he needs right now, Lilith.

‘Well what we need is to slit his throat for laying a finger on us!’

No interruptions

I could feel my control tighten across my body as Lilith attempted to rip control from me. I wouldn’t let her interrupt, I couldn’t. Lucas needed to rid himself of the hate, and what better punching bag than one that could return to normal soon after?

The person that I felt for the most as Lucas continued to hit me, was Cecelia. When I had lost my footing and fell to my back I could see Cecelia behind me looking afraid, and angrier than I’d ever seen her outside of battle. I just hoped the anger wasn’t directed at me. I was fortunate that Lucas had not enchanted his fists with holy magic like he and Laia had done previously. I wasn’t sure if that was a conscious decision of kindness, or if he was so angry he had simply forgotten to do it. It meant these wounds would heal with time, and time would pass as it always did. I wouldn’t lie and say that I was fine, it absolutely hurt as skin bruised and tore. Each fist knew exactly where to aim in order to crack, fracture, or entirely break bones. I figured he had a lot of anger to let out, but the sheer amount must have been more than I imagined.

After multiple minutes, that felt unnaturally longer than any other minutes I had experienced, had passed, Lucas relented. He sat straddled across my hips, chest heaving and hands bruised and bloodied, most likely more of my blood than his if I had to guess. Eventually, he pushed himself off of me and took a few steps back.

“West. We’re going west.” Lucas stately plainly, and started to walk through the forest in the direction that we had been travelling in previously. After he had begun to leave, Phern, Cecelia, and Sebil all moved towards me.

“Make sure he doesn’t get too far, Sebil.” Cecelia’s words came out as an order, and despite Sebil’s visible concern over my condition he nodded and moved to follow after Lucas.

“What the fuck were you thinking, Bandit?”

‘I second the blonde woman, little morsel.’

“He needed to get it out. He has his doubts about what the Empire has taught him, I can see how afraid he is of truths becoming falsehoods. I was the same way.” I felt like I had spent far too much of my life being told what to believe only to later discover that it was never as simple as what I was told. If I was holding onto those beliefs to this day, I would still hate myself and demons.

“Did you have to let him tussle you around like a Thimbleweed in a cabin seat though?”

“I think I’ll be-” I coughed up a sickly glob of crimson blood as I sat up from the ground. I could feel the wounds healing, but they were repairing themselves in an odd pattern, leaving my body still aching all over. “-I’ll be fine. It’s just some broken bones. As long as I get dinner today, I’ll be okay.”

Cecelia and Phern both looked like they doubted me, but with the visible proof of my ribs shifting back into place before them, it was hard to deny. “I still don’t think it was worth it.” Cecelia sighed as she lifted me from my sitting position back to my feet. It was comforting as ever to be within her grasp as she set me straight and kept me braced against her to support me while I healed.

“We’ll find out soon enough. I think the fact that he’s staying with us is a good sign. Maybe he won’t be such a bootlicker if I keep working on him.” I gave a reassuring smile towards Cecelia to attempt to put her at ease. “Were you a bootlicker, Bandit? You said he kind of reminded you of yourself.” Phern moved to the other side of me to join Cecelia in supporting my weight. It was definitely overkill, but I wasn’t going to shoo her away, so I let her help.

“Uh. Kinda. Let’s just say I had some ‘intensive instruction’ about demons that was hard to shake.” Maybe I would tell the two of them about my isolation at a later time, but those memories still blended uncomfortably together even to this day. They almost felt like a terrible nightmare that I didn’t wake up from for months upon months. When I returned to classes after isolation I was almost in a fugue stage. Whatever it took for them to make sure I was an upstanding student of Varenthell after my friendship with Vyra. Friendship was a weird word for it. We were far more than that. She was the first person to see me for who I truly was.

“Regardless, I would prefer that Lucas doesn’t hate my guts if he’s going to stay with us. Only time will tell if this helps.”

“You can go on ahead, Phern, Bandit and I will work on catching up, yeah?”

Phern broke away from my side to stand in front of the two of us. At first, it looked as though she was about to speak her mind, before a lightbulb almost physically lit up inside of her head judging from the sudden brightness in her eyes. “Oh!!! I get it! Okay you two, I’ll leave you be. But I wanna hear every detail later from one of you!”

“Phern, I’m bruised like a bar fight right now, we’re just going to be talking.”

“Riiiiiiight. Well enjoy your talking, you two!” Phern made the most obvious wink that I had ever seen in my life before turning to walk away from us.

“My bones are reconstructing, Phern! We’re just going to be talking!” I called out towards her in order to try to clear the air, but she was already gone.

“She’s just excited, Bandit. That girl’s been waiting for me to get with someone for years now. She’s an enthusiastic wingman, but not a very good one.”

“Wait, she’s tried hooking you up with people before?”

“Whenever we stop in a town she will inevitably find some unlucky girl and try to get the two of us to hit it off. I’m not really one for dating, what with the deadly hunts as a career.”

“Makes sense. Candlelit dinners must be hard when you’re busy exterminating a race of demons.”

I ribbed her with my arms as we walked, and although she responded with laughter to my joke, I could tell it provoked some deep thoughts in Cecelia. The two of us walked for another minute, my regenerating body having gotten to the point where being supported by Cecelia was unnecessary. Though her arm wrapped around me was comforting. Maybe I’d let her support me for another minute or two.

“A girl can change. I’m glad I did. Speaking of change. Are you telling Lucas and Sebil anytime soon? I noticed that Phern put some pieces together.”

“I didn’t want to die with her thinking of me as Xavier.”

I looked to her with hopes that she would understand where I was coming from. She smiled in response, her tender gaze making me feel like I was special in some way for being treated to such a rare side of the woman.

“I don’t know when I’ll tell them, though. I want to do it soon, if that’s possible.”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be right there with you.”

“Thanks.” I paused. “I mean. Thanks, sweetie. Or- Is that okay?”

Cecelia stopped to look at me, a neutral expression quickly melting into laughter as she let go of me to hold her sides. “Sweetie? Oh Gods that’s rich!”

“Wha- I was trying to be nice! That’s what couples do in books?” I exclaimed in retort, my face quickly becoming a canvas for a cruel blush.

“From books? Oh that’s even better!” Cecelia continued to laugh as I shuffled awkwardly in front of her, embarrassment wrapped around me like a ball gown. After getting the bulk of her laughter out of her system, she pulled me forwards to wrap me in a tight hug. “Gods you’re adorable, bookworm.”

“I thought that’s what people said! Is that wrong? I only ever dated one other person and that was very… different.” My relationship with Vyra was understandably far from the norm. We exclusively dated in the secrecy of her dorm room, and as much as our friendship lasted years, our actual relationship was cut short. I had very little previous experience to pull from.

“You can call me whatever you want, Bandit. I don’t need your 10 Tips and Tricks to get the Chicks, I just want you. Do whatever is natural.” Her smile felt just like the hug that she had just pulled away from. It was warm and steady, which made me feel like I could act without fear of any judgement. As long as you didn’t count laughter as a form of judgement. I couldn’t hold it against her as she ruffled her fingers through my hair before turning to walk in the direction Phern had left.

My body was fully healed, and my mind was dancing in the clouds of my conversation with Cecelia. It took us a few minutes to finally catch up with the others. They had clearly slowed their pace in order to allow us to catch up to them. Once we had all gathered into our usual group, there was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air above us as we walked. Nobody dared to address the earlier actions, and as such, we treaded on like nothing had happened.

West we went. Five odd-

‘Six, foolish fledgling.’

Six odd adventurers that seemed tied together by the thinnest twine. I was just glad that we had managed to escape the city of Thrieve without being entirely annihilated by the Council. Being only an hour's walk away from some of the most powerful individuals in all of Kistram was tense, but I was hoping that their significance would prevent them from wandering through forests and lakes. Perhaps they would send some of their guards to scout it out without leaving the safety of the city.

“I GOT IT!”

Each of us turned to face the sudden outburst of excitement that came from Phern. One moment, she was walking along with us in silence, and then next it looked like she had cracked the murder of her long lost sister or something.

“The Belligerent Bandits!”

“Would that not imply we’re bandits, Phern?” Sebil asked with concern. Though I noted soon after speaking, he winced and moved a hand towards the inside of his coat. An odd scent his my nose soon after, but before I could place it, Cecelia had shaken my thoughts by saying, “It feels like we’d be attracting trouble that way, stump.”

“But we aren’t bandits! That’s the point!”

“...I don’t get it.” I muttered.

“We both thought that Bandit here was a simple bandit during our first meeting, but then we found out that wasn’t right at all! Bandit is so much more!”

“How would anyone aside from us understand that?” Sebil asked, seeming to have just as much trouble understanding the name as the rest of us.

“It upheaves the expectations people have! They think a bunch of bandits are evil but then when we swoop in and save their lives we can say ‘you’ve just been saved by The Belligerent Bandits’ and then they’ll go ‘oh wow I thought bandits are bad I guess this completely makes me rethink the fundamentals of what I think and restructures my own set of beliefs’! That’s the point.”

‘Oh this is fun.’

Cecelia, Sebil and I all looked at each other with apprehension. Lucas had decided not to include himself in the conversation, instead facing away from us while waiting for us to continue walking towards the lake that we were nearing.

“Too bad if you don’t like it because CiCi ran out of vetos so this is sticking!” Phern grinned. Sebil and I looked to Cecelia as if to confirm what she had just said. Cecelia folded her face into her hands, which told us everything that we needed to know about their supposed deal.

“Get ready, world! The Belligerent Bandits are coming for you! …but not to rob you or anything like regular bandits would do, we're like totally different and way cooler.”