Heartworm

I read in some stupid children’s book when I was younger that Murphy’s law states “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. I didn’t think that law was always applicable to my life, and yet in times like these, when surrounded by unanswered questions and deadly uncertainties, I felt it was more than applicable.

“How did you find them?!” Lucas pointed at the exhausted looking Phern who was doing her best to support the weight of a self-reconstructing body on her back. She had joined me in the hallway to see what was happening amidst the wretched smoke. I’m sure my sudden yelp of warning towards Sebil had spurred on a curiosity from her.

“By eavesdropping on you while you went behind our fucking backs! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted someone with the Empire’s dick firmly up their ass!” I scathed back at the blindfolded man.

“Gods, it’s like you need every fucking word out of your mouth to be blasphemy! Do you also kick a gift horse in the mouth when you see one?”

“If the horse is Empire-shaped and contains all of their atrocities, then yeah!”

“Well maybe you should think about how much the horse has done for you! There’d be complete chaos if the horse wasn’t there to set some fucking rules!” Lucas spat back at me.

“Stop it, you two! Now isn’t the time to talk about the horse!” Sebil seemed to become extremely frustrated at himself that he had been pulled into our argument where the ‘horse’ had started to mean ‘Empire’. “Or- Empire! Whatever the fuck you’re bickering about can wait until we’re out of the very prison where some of the most powerful individuals in all of Kistram are currently heading to!”

I’d continue my spat with Lucas when we weren’t in the jaws of the Empire attack dogs. I looked at Phern and Bandit, finally having the time to see just how terrible the latter looked. There were severe burns over the entirety of her back, arms, and legs. From the way that blood swirled around the outline of missing hands and feet, I could see that they had been removed for some reason. Was that where the chains had been? It was truly an awful sight, one that was only slightly diluted by the knowledge that her body was currently repairing itself before my eyes.

“Gods, what the hell happened to her?” The words slipped out of my mouth as a hand covered my mouth and nose. The would-be fatal wounds across Bandit’s body were truly abhorrent to the senses. It assaulted my eyes with the roasted flesh and invaded the caverns of my nostrils with the metallic scent of blood that not only spilled from open wounds, but froze in the air to stitch together skin from seemingly nothing. I had witnessed Deathless regenerate limbs many times before, most of which were my own proud accomplishments. But those were hunts, and I had never truly sat to watch how the body could repair itself in impossible ways. How vulgar and oddly enrapturing.

“Her?” Sebil asked, marked confusion plastered across his face as he looked at the semi-lifeless body on Phern’s back. It was only then that I realized what I had previously said.

“Uh…” I was like a Bimblefunk in the path of a… something. Gods, no matter how much I tried, I could never think of Phernisms on the spot. You’d think after so many years of hearing them it would be like a second nature to me. Needless to say, I was frozen. I didn’t know how to walk myself back out of this, especially since this was no time at all to discuss matters of identity, even more so since they were not my matters to discuss in the first place.

“She said him! Do you have Funkweed in your ears, sparkplug? Maybe you need to invent a device to aid with your hearing!” Phern took a rather blunt approach to easing the confusion. I wasn’t sure how profitable the gaslighting route would be for the enigmatic woman, but when Sebil replied shortly after, I felt my nerves ease slightly.

“Huh… a kind of ‘hearing aid’, what a fascinating concept.” Sebil hummed to himself, seemingly more occupied with the potential invention than the correction of what he had previously heard.

“That’s a stupid name though, not nearly cool enough. Try ear enhancement for prospective yammering! EEPY for short.” Phern grinned at Sebil, clearly extremely impressed with her own creative naming of the non-existent device. Though seeing how passionate Sebil was, I wouldn’t doubt that the idea of a hearing device would soon become reality with enough time.

“Oh, fucking fantastic! Maybe if we sit around and talk about the non-existent device some more you can invent it and you’ll be able to hear that we’re GOING TO DIE IF WE DON’T MOVE!” Lucas was clearly fed up with the lack of hustle that the four of us, five if you included a dead body (you shouldn’t), were displaying. I wouldn’t dare say it aloud, but I agreed with him. We needed to be out of this prison five minutes ago.

“Phern, give me our dead Bandit, we need to get back to our stuff at the inn.” Despite telling Phern to give me the body, I was already in the movements of doing so myself as I spoke. I hoisted the bloodied corpse onto my back as if I was carrying an incredibly macabre sort of backpack, arms thrown over my shoulders and secured with both of my arms holding the regenerating stumps. A disgusting texture, let me assure you.

“No need, love. I grabbed all of our possessions before we left this morning.” Sebil spoke to me as he walked, taking the second position in our line, Lucas already impatiently leading the way in front. I shot him a puzzled expression, the lack of equipment anywhere on his person conflicted with his words. My eyes then set upon the large cylindrical contraption on his back. The space manipulating storage device, I’d scold myself for not thinking of that first if not for how peculiar and novel a concept it was. How was I supposed to account for a never before seen sort of technical wizardry?

“Great. Then we run about as fast as we can towards the southern gate where we came from. If we manage to get out of Thrieve with our heads firmly attached to our bodies, we’ll head west to get some distance from the Council.”

“Towards the lake? Fucking stupendous plan for a party of mermaids and mermen.” Lucas quipped at me with so much sarcasm laced into the words that it could cause an overdose of attitude in whoever chewed on the words long enough in their minds. Gods why was this Marked such an ass.

“With a flick of my wand and a kiss of my tit, I’ll make you a merman yet.” I gripped back at the blonde man, watching in satisfaction as I caught up to his running pace at the front of our group to see him reel back in revulsion from my words.

“Inthenia smite this beleaguered woman.” Lucas growled under his breath as we reached the end of the hallway and turned back into the sewers. Lucas hesitated, lacking any knowledge of the sewers layout since he had incapacitated his guiding guard. Incapacitated, and not killed, as I had found out by checking his pulse before we left the prison. The armored man was breathing steadily with a firm throb in his neck vein, demonstrating that he was alive, albeit with a likely headache upon waking up.

“I could actually do that! Once I get my restraint off, I could mold some mermaid disguises for us!” Phern stumbled behind us, but managed to still keep pace in the back of our jogging pack. I felt bad for her, the clear signs of injury slowing her down, but we simply couldn’t afford to slow down to accommodate her with the impending presence of the Council.

“NO!” Sebil yelled in response, loudly and firmly enough to cause our entire group to grow silent but for the thuds and splashes of our shoes as we trudged through the sewers. Everyone in the group (aside from the body, c’mon) made cautious glances at Sebil, like watching his face would somehow give us an answer to his outburst. He noticed our reactions, and briefly coughed. Out of awkwardness, and not necessity based on how he looked. “My inventions do not mix well with water. Need I remind you of the risks if the device on my back is submerged?” The expression on his face betrayed the calm tone of his voice, showing that he was far more concerned than he was trying to lead on.

“Then we’ll find some kind of vessel or make our way around the lake. Either way, we need to get away from Thrieve. They’re expecting us to travel north based on our previous route, it would be far too dangerous. We can’t travel back east towards the estate, or we’d risk running into Laia prematurely. If we traveled south we’d be losing more distance that we can afford to make. West is best.”

“Oh my gosh CiCi! You already have a catchy slogan for our plan? It’s gotta work, then!” I smiled at Phern. It might not have been the best reason to agree with my idea, but it was an agreement nonetheless.

“I agree, but only because the likely event of all of you dying horribly to Sebil’s catastrophic water activated bomb is too alluring to ignore.” Lucas deadpanned, now following behind me, as I was the most experienced navigator of the sewers. Not a title that I was proud of at any other time than this. When I looked back to Sebil after hearing no response, I could see the apprehension bleeding across his face like an untreated wound.

“We’ll find a way to navigate the lake in a way that’s safe for your inventions, Sebil. I promise.” I hoped that my reassurance would get him behind our plan, at least for the time being. I could argue the specifics at a later time. When our lives were trepidatiously hanging in the balance of immediate cooperation, I needed a unanimous agreement.

“Fine.”

I’d take it.

“Hey CiCi… I might have forgotten to tell you something important.” Phern’s soft voice was carried to me through the bouncing reverberations of the sewer walls. Such an ominous statement was already filling me with dread.

“...what is it, stump?”

“I had to kill Bandit for us to get out of the cell. When they come back to life, they’re going to be so hungry that they’ll instantly become feral.”

“Fuck! Why didn’t you say anything until now?!”

“You were all talking about Empire horses and mermaids!”

“How long?”

“Uh…”

“How long ago did you kill Bandit?!” I hadn’t meant for my tone to come across as harshly as it had, but it was the least of my concerns. There was a fucking countdown until the Deathless I was carrying on my back woke and became feral. There are few things in this world that compare to the brutality and animalistic fervor of a feral Deathless. I looked down at the arms that I was holding onto to support Bandit’s weight on my back to see that the arms had almost completely healed, and the outline of her hands that were marked disturbingly with floating blood was beginning to become filled in. I could tell Phern was upset at herself for not bringing it up until now, and my words had obviously been taken as reprimand for the short woman. My heart wavered and wilted at the sight, but my survival instincts pushed on. “PHERN, we need an answer NOW!”

“Like seven minutes! …ish.” She replied hesitantly.

“Like the animal wasn’t enough of a monster already, we get to deal with that beast going feral a second time!” Lucas hissed at either myself or Phern, I couldn’t tell which. Perhaps both of us.

“Then we need to find him some kind of sustenance, love!” Sebil urged his words at me, and I had to fight back the reactive ‘I know’ that sprung to the forefront of my mind. I was painfully aware of our predicament, more than anyone else in this sewer aside from potentially Phern. My mind raced at the current predicament that raked at my mind like a miserable kind of zen garden. There was no food in the Gods damned sewers, but the moment that we surfaced back into the city, we could be met with any number of guards from the capital. If the Empire had deemed Bandit’s execution such a priority that the Council was to be involved, there was no telling how many of the capital’s guards had been sent to Thrieve alongside the Council.

We weren’t far from the southern gate. The only plan that I could currently conjure up in my mind was the wall-inns that were positioned at the southern gates. If we stormed in, we might be able to get some of the fresh meat in their kitchens before Bandit wakes up. We’d be cutting it close on time, and it was an extensive risk if she woke up amongst a restaurant’s worth of innocent citizens, but it was about the only thing I could think of other than feeding Lucas to Bandit. Which I doubted would last very long before Sebil would stop it.

“FUCK! Okay. We surface at the southern gate and rush into the nearest kitchen. If we get lucky enough, we find some of the meat before Bandit manages to wake up.” I relayed the flimsy but solitary plan that I had to the others.

“And if the beast wakes up in the city streets?”

“We pray Bandit eats a Varenthell guard instead of a civilian or one of us.”

* * * * *

“Vyra…?”

“You look different.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s a good different.”

I don’t remember this. Last I remembered, I was in isolation. No, that was a memory. Was this a memory? I don’t remember this.

“I can see you overthinking. People change, but parts of you remain all the same.”

“I’m sorry. I’m confused.”

A laugh. Vyra had just laughed.

“You’re always confused. I love it about you. There isn’t a knot you won’t attempt to unravel with your mind. You’ve a lot of knots to go. Yet some of the more important ones have finally loosened.”

“What? I-I don’t… knots?”

A hand. Vyra had just touched me. It was soft, a gentle pressure on the left side of my face, just beneath my cheekbone.

“Is this what you always imagined Ester to look like? It suits you.”

“I-I didn’t. No, I didn’t choose.”

This was the body I wore currently. This was my body, that was changing by the very day since I awoke as a Deathless. Compared to the secluded, lifeless body of Xavier, I was nearly unrecognizable. He wore his hair short, like a punishment would be incurred if it dared to brush over his shoulders. My hair was now long, longer than it had ever been before, scraggly as ever, but reaching down towards the center of my back like branches seeking nutrition from a nearby pond. His eyes were a hollow green, that reflected the empty life that had been buried underneath expectations and demands from parents and Dr Theorin Rectin. My eyes were a bright red, the color of a savory spill of blood across a clean white table, sharped with the thrill of the hunt in my gaze. His body was boxy and covered to the best of his ability, like a singular look at his own naked skin would crush the beating heart that warred with his mind. My body felt more my own than it ever had before, soft curves lining my figure in a way that felt alien and altogether comforting. The development of soft supple breasts could not be ignored any more. I doubted they were obvious when blanketed in tight constraints of clothing, but unabated, my chest was no longer that of Xavier's.

“Didn’t you?”

Her hand. It slinked down my cheek, trailing tenderly down my neckline until it stopped at my chest. She placed her palm firmly against my skin.

“It looks to me like your heart decided what your mind had yet to consider.”

“I don’t look like I used to. How did you even know this was me?” I asked, my breath hitching uncomfortably in my throat between my sentences.

“You look like everything I imagined.”

A scent. Filth. Bile. The sewer. Where was that? Where was I?

“What’s happening? This isn’t a memory. It’s always a memory when I die. I don’t remember this.”

“Of course. It hasn’t happened before, so how could you remember it?”

“But you’re dead. Headmaster Gelgin killed you.”

A sound. Rustling, panicked people. Glass shattering. Screaming. Where was that? Where was I?

“I swore on my name, didn’t I?”

“You… no. No. I mean, yes. You did. But you died, your promises mean nothing.”

A feeling. Hunger, writhing, insatiable, inconsolable hunger. I hurt. I needed to eat. Where was food? Where was I?

“Do I feel dead to you?”

Vyra moved towards me through nothingness, through everything. Where were we? I know this room. The circular, grooved walls. The altar in the center. It looks different without blood and bodies.

Vyra’s lips met mine, and we were one. We were two. I kissed her back, with enough passion to restart her heart, if there were any good natured Gods that cared for love in the world.

This was the room I died in. This is where the ritual was held beneath Varenthell Academy. Why were we here?

“I told you I would be back for you, Ester. I swore on my name.”

I never wanted her lips to leave mine, not even to breathe. The moment she pulled away, it felt like I had fallen into an icy lake. How was she here? Was this real, or just a cruel dream that the Heartworm in my chest spun like a web to catch my flailing heart in its grasp. Like the pressure of a thousand emotions layering across my heart, I felt anguish, relief, terror, love, and sorrow. Most of all. I felt hungry. I needed to eat.

* * * * *

There was screaming. I looked to my right to see a building with a shattered glass front. Delectably terrified people stirred inside behind a wooden bar and the assorted tables and chairs. There was glass in my back, a treacherous sack of meat must have thrown me from inside the building. The stench of waste wafted up through a nearby sewer grate that still sat ajar. All around me, the stench of hatred and horror hung in the air. I was surrounded by throbbing tubes of blood that made up a human. They looked to be guards, from the armor they wore. A deep instinctual hatred rippled through me as I looked at the sigil across their chest plates. Varenthell.

Beyond the circular array of guards that had entrapped me with sharpened spears and swords, lay familiar faces. The blonde woman, the spiced short woman, the electrical field of a man, and the blindfolded prey. They hurt me. I remember the barn, I remember the pain. So much prey.

I will gorge myself full! This is a most providential hunt!