How I Helped My Smokin’ Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire

I switched to an overlay that gave me a view of the entire city. It was amazing what Arvie was able to put together by basically creating a mesh network that put together the information from all of the drones we had in a bunch of different places.

It made the mind boggle that the livisk hadn't decided to use this advantage before. It would be so easy for them to just throw a bunch of drones out there and use a Combat Intelligence to control them, and from there it would be a hop, skip, and a jump to an easy victory considering what Arvie was capable of.

"Damn," I whispered as I looked at what was happening.

"It is an interesting conundrum," Arvie said via the fighter’s speakers so Varis could hear what he was saying.

"No, I was talking about the battlefield view you're able to give me," I said, still staring up in wonder at everything that was on display in front of me.

"Oh, I don't know that it's anything terribly impressive, William," he said, trying to sound like it wasn't a big deal.

"No, everything you're doing here is seriously impressive."

"I want to be able to see what you're seeing," Varis said, her lip jutting out in a sexy pout.

"All in good time, my dear. But trust me, it's not a good idea for you to try and replicate what I did in the middle of an active combat situation."

"I know it's not a good idea," she said, her lip still jutting out in that pout. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to see what's happening."

I stared at the display in front of me in awe and wonder. I could scarcely believe what was happening even as I couldn’t get over how impressed I was at how Arvie was able to create that overview of the city.

We didn't have access to satellite imagery. Imperial Seat was strictly blocked off from that sort of thing thanks to an edict from the empress who was, justifiably it would seem, worried about people trying to depose her.

I’d asked about getting orbital information from ships in the area as well, but apparently any ship caught trying to take pictures or video of Imperial Seat from orbit would get nuked in orbit. Apparently the empress thought that was the only way to be sure.

"What's going on?" Varis asked, looking out over the city and then up to the threat board in the fighter. It showed her some of the picture, but it was definitely an incomplete picture of everything that was going on out over Imperial Seat at the moment.

"It looks like a bunch of the nobles have turned on the empress," I said. "Or at the very least, they're firing on the Imperials.”

"That's odd," Varis said, frowning.

"'Odd' as in, 'That's the kind of thing that never happens'?" I asked. "Or odd as in, 'That's the kind of thing that means we're about to get the entire city blown up and add another layer to the Undercity'?"

I really didn't want to be hanging around if that happened. I'd been down on the ground in the aftermath of a strategic nuke being dropped on a colony world city, and it wasn't pretty. Hell, I'd recently been in the middle of a tactical nuke being dropped on one of the fortress buildings at the edge of Varis's hard influence in the city, and that wasn't an experience I was eager to repeat if I could avoid it.

"That's not entirely out of the ordinary given the current political situation in the city," Arvie said.

I looked up to him, or I looked up to the display that had turned a pleasing blue color as he spoke to us.

"Any idea exactly what's happening?" I asked.

"I am not certain," Arvie said. "But..."

There was a pause, and then Arvie spoke up again. "I believe there is a communication from Jeraj on the line."

I blinked. Jeraj, right. Jeraj and Yana. I'd been so focused on trying to survive for the past few hours that I'd completely forgotten they were with us. They'd just been sitting quietly back, obviously waiting for the moment when the shit hit the fan.

And maybe it was my imagination, but I almost thought I saw a hint of disappointment in Jeraj's eyes every time it looked like we were about to get pulled into yet another knock-down, drag-out fight and then it ended up not happening.

Maybe he was getting his wish now. Maybe he was doing something terribly clever.

"Put him on," I said.

I continued staring at the bomber as well. Another fighter slammed into it, which pushed it off its course just a little. It had slowed down as well, but it didn't look like it was going to stop.

"What's she doing with that thing?" I muttered.

"What's who doing with what thing?" Jeraj asked.

I shook my head and turned to look at him. He floated on a holodisplay in front of us, smiling at the two of us. He was standing tall with his hands behind his back, and Yana was also there. I noted that she had some sort of cybernetic hand that had replaced the forearm that I'd chopped off.

"When did you find the time to get that?" I asked with a grin.

"As soon as everybody got distracted enough that we were able to get in touch with forces from our house," she said, grinning right back at me. I wasn't sure it was an entirely pleasant grin. I don't think I deserved an entirely pleasant grin from her, considering the way I'd chopped her arm off so casually. This planet really was starting to get to me. I really was starting to go native in ways that weren't entirely to my liking, for all that they seem to be necessary to my long term survival.

Then I focused on what they were saying.

"You're in contact with your house," Varis said.

"Your Combat Intelligence was kind enough to put us in touch," Jeraj said. "You're welcome, by the way."

I blinked again, staring at him, uncomprehending for a moment, but it didn't take long for that uncomprehension to become comprehension.

"Wait. You're the ones responsible for all of that fire going up against the Imperials?”

“None other than,” Jeraj said, clicking his heels together and doing that livisk thing where he bowed to the point his upper body was at almost a ninety-degree angle to his lower body. Seriously, I wondered if there was something different about the structure of livisk ab muscles that made it easier for them to do that.

But that was another distraction for me to worry about another time. Though I could think of a few interesting ways to test that out using Varis’s ab muscles as an example.

"That's impossible," Varis said from beside me. "You don't have nearly enough forces to be able to fire on the empress like this."

"Well, yes. But we have a lot of friends," Jeraj said with a grin. "And let's just say there are more than a few of them who are a little annoyed with the empress right now. Like they don't enjoy the idea of her casually flying bombers over the city and dropping nukes on the place. They worry they might be next in line.”

I shook my head and grinned as I realized what he was getting at. It would seem that the nobility in Imperial Seat was getting tired of the empress throwing her weight around. I’d wondered how long it would take for us to get to this point. I honestly didn't think it would happen this soon, but here we were. And it's not like I was going to complain that we'd finally gotten here.

"Well, I'm glad for the assistance," I said, nodding to him. "Thank you for that. I truly mean it."

"You've provided me an interesting experience through the Undercity," he said. "Do you have any idea how rare that is?"

I turned to look at Varis. She had a slightly unhinged look on her face as well. Like she was loving every moment of this even though there were people who were trying to kill us at every turn.

I stared between the two of them, and I suddenly had an itching feeling in between my shoulder blades. The feeling I got when it felt like somebody was about to try and kill me. Only this time around, it was the feeling that maybe part of the reason all these livisk bigwigs were so willing to throw in their lot with me didn't have anything to do with wanting a change in their political system, and it had everything to do with interesting things like big battles happening around me.

Well, if that's what it took, then I'd take it.

"So how long is that going to last?" I asked.

"My father is presenting a list of demands to the empress right now," Jeraj said. "I doubt she's going to take it well, but if enough of the nobility makes it clear they're getting tired of her nonsense, then we'll probably be able to stop that bomber before it reaches the end of its dramatically slow bombing run."

I looked at the bomber again. It had slowed down even more as things were attacking it, and I did some mental math.

It really did make no sense that it would've taken this long for the bomber to get all the way to the spot it was at now from the imperial palace. Not unless there was something wrong with the power to weight ratio, which was entirely possible with something that big and heavy.

But there might be a simple explanation.

"Wait, so you're saying the empress is slow-walking that bomb run on purpose?"

Jeraj blinked as he stared at me. As though I'd just said the dumbest thing in the world.

"Well of course she's slow-walking it," he said. "That bomber could've gone over the detention center almost immediately if she really wanted it. She wants to send everybody a message, and unfortunately for her, it's a message that everybody received loud and clear."

I shook my head and laughed again. This was all so ridiculous.

“Livisk politics sure are fucked up," I said.

"As though it's any weirder than you humans and your insistence on counting everybody’s vote and still you have the same people running things for generation after generation."

I thought about that, and then I shrugged. I suppose in a way there were a lot of similarities between how the livisk and humanity did things, politically speaking. Not that I particularly enjoyed having that pointed out to me, but whatever.

"Anyway," I said. “We need to do something about that bomber. I’m not going to wait and rely on negotiations.”

"If I might, William," Arvie said.

"You always might, Arvie," I said.

"It would appear that the nobles are providing a bit of a distraction for the moment. They might be able to come to a political settlement with the empress, or they might not. But in the meantime, we have a large number of towing ships that were sent out precisely because they have the ability to punch a hole in heavy armor with their tow lines and stop something big and heavy in its tracks."

My eyes went wide. I grinned as I realized exactly what Arvie was getting at.

"Arvie, have I told you you're a genius yet today?"

"I can't recall," Arvie said.

"Yeah, like you're not keeping track of every time I do that in those circuits of yours."

"Well, fine, so maybe you have, but I still enjoy it when you do," he said.

He was positively preening through the audio connection. It was even more so as he stood a little straighter in the simulation.

"Okay, Jeraj, I need you to get in touch with your dad and tell him we need that distraction to go on for a little longer. Keep the empress talking, and try to keep her preoccupied while we work on a backup to the negotiations.”

He grinned. It was a grin that was full of all sorts of anticipation.

"You're about to do something stupid, aren't you?"

"You love it that I am, don't you?"

"You know it," he said, grinning. "I'll get on it."

"Excellent," I said. "Now, Arvie, let's get to work on getting those towing units up there."

"On it, William," Arvie said. Though he hit me with an odd look in the simulation.

"What?" I asked.

"The airspace over Imperial Seat is rather crowded with ordnance right now," he said. "It would take some fancy flying to get a bunch of towing barges up to that bomber in the middle of a combat situation like this."

He grinned at me in the simulation. I grinned right back at him in the simulation and IRL. Varis saw that grin and promptly rolled her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh.