How I Helped My Demon Princess Conquer Hell

Liam

"Wait, what are you doing?" Albert said, moving over to sit on the bench immediately next to the window in the back that Liam was currently looking out of.

"I just told you. I'm going to have a chat with these guys."

"I didn't think you were serious about that," Albert said.

"What did you think I was doing?" Liam asked.

"I thought you were telling a joke."

"I don't see how that could be a joke," Liam said.

"Well, I didn't say I thought it was a particularly funny joke," Albert said. "I don't understand the humor of the youth these days. I've been dead for roughly twenty years, after all."

"Right," Liam said, staring at the cat for a moment, then he turned his attention back to the two Inquisitors who were staring at him like they didn't know what to do with him either. Or if he was making a bad joke.

"This is going to be useless," Albert said.

"You never know until you talk to them," Liam muttered.

The one with the gray beard was moving a little closer on his horse. The other one was holding back. He had a hand up and there was a slight glow around the edges of his hand, like he'd prepared a spell and he was getting ready to use it. Though Liam couldn't quite feel the arcane mana from the spell. Probably because he was inside this stupid mana-deadening thing.

"These are Inquisitors," Albert said. "You are like the buzzing of flies to them."

"Aren't I a higher arcane ascension than them?" Liam asked.

"You might be, but there are many of them and there's only the one of you."

"Well, I still think it's a good idea to try and have a chat with them first, and then from there we can explore other options if this doesn't work out."

"I still think it's a bad idea," Albert said.

"Your protest is noted," Liam said.

He turned his attention back to the Inquisitor who was coming his way. He was moving cautiously, looking back and forth like he expected an attack to come from somewhere at any moment.

Only Liam was sitting in the coach trying to look as utterly and completely non-threatening as possible. He figured it was a good idea to lull them into a false sense of security. He wasn't even sure he was lulling them into a false sense of security, considering he was currently being held captive.

"What do you want?" the Inquisitor asked in a gruff voice.

"I was thinking we had a misunderstanding here, is all," Liam said.

The Inquisitor looked over his shoulder to the other one who had a dark beard. Liam idly wondered at the power structure in the Inquisition that the one with a gray beard was deferring to the one who had no gray and seemed like he would be younger.

"Did you hear that, Ragnar?" he said. "This one thinks there was a mistake."

Ragnar merely kept his eyes on Liam. He still had his hand up, and it looked like he had that spell ready to go. It also looked like that spell meant serious business.

Like it wouldn't end well for Liam if he had to set it off.

"Concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing, Tobin," Ragnar said.

Tobin flinched as though it was an actual physical blow, and then he turned back to Liam.

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"I am being serious," Liam said. "I think there's been a misunderstanding here, and I would very much like to try and settle this in a friendly way. You don't have to do this."

The man, Tobin, stared at him for a long moment. Liam felt the coach rocking all around him. He watched the horse moving under Tobin. It was a quiet moment. He could even hear birds singing in the trees all around, and the faint calls of animals in the forest. The sort of thing that felt like home to him considering all the time he'd spent moving through the woods.

"Is that a threat?" Tobin finally asked, his eyes narrowing.

"What?" Liam asked, blinking.

"I told you it wouldn't work out well," Albert said.

"Hush," Liam said.

"Are you telling me to hush?" Tobin growled.

"No, I wasn't telling you to hush. I was telling my cat to hush."

"Your cat can talk?" Tobin asked, blinking in obvious surprise and then glancing over his shoulder to Ragnar like he was suddenly unsure of himself and this situation.

"Well, yes?” Liam said.

Why would that seem surprising to an Inquisitor? People who used magic had familiars. It was a well-known thing. Well enough that even Liam was aware that familiars were a thing, and yet this man seemed surprised.

"He says his cat is talking to him, Ragnar," Tobin said, talking over his shoulder but keeping his eyes on Liam the entire time.

"Does he now?" Ragnar said. "Well, that's very interesting."

"Why is that interesting?" Liam asked, suddenly getting the feeling he'd said the wrong thing somehow.

"That's simple enough," Tobin said. "You keep making more and more confessions. You're not supposed to have a familiar."

"Says who?" Liam asked.

"Says the Academy," Albert muttered from beside him.

"Says the Academy," the Inquisitor said in echo of what the cat had said.

He reached out and rapped his knuckles against the coach a couple of times, and then against the bars. As though he was testing its strength. A spark danced off of the bars, and he pulled his hand back and shook it out. Like that had really hurt him. At least it seemed like it hurt him more than the tingle touching the bars had delivered to Liam.

"Odd. It seems strong enough," Tobin muttered.

"What are you doing?" Liam asked.

"Just making sure the arcana oak is doing its job," he said with a grin. "Wouldn't want you trying anything stupid before we have a chance to get you to one of our bases to have a nice chat with you."

Liam shivered. He was well aware of what it meant for the Inquisition to have a nice chat with somebody, and it was never anything that was actually nice for the person who was being interrogated.

"We don't have to do that," Liam said.

"Again, is that a threat, boy?" the Inquisitor said, his eyes narrowing and his voice turning to a low growl.

"I don't know why you keep thinking I'm threatening you," Liam said. "I just want to know why you've taken me captive.”

"You were consorting with a demon, boy," Tobin said. "What do you think happens to people who consort with demons?"

"I don't know," Liam said. "I don't think what I was doing was consorting with a demon."

"There was a demon in your presence."

"I suppose so," Liam said.

"You seemed awfully familiar with her."

"I don't know that I would say I'm familiar with her, but we have gone through a few things together, yes," Liam said.

"Well, there you have it," Tobin said, as though it was the most self-evident thing in the world.

Meanwhile, all Liam could do was frown. "I've heard stories about how you decide somebody's guilt before you even take them in for questioning, but I never actually thought it was true until this moment."

He’d believed those stories, but he figured trying to butter the Inquisitor up a little couldn’t make the situation any worse than it already was.

“If you believed that then I’ve got a magical bridge to the fabled demon city of gold and diamonds to sell you,” Albert muttered, his voice pitched low enough that the Inquisitor probably couldn’t hear him.

"You watch your tongue, boy," the Inquisitor said, glaring at him. "That kind of thing will make the questioning go very poorly for you."

"You're already going to torture me anyway," Liam said.

"You are a traitor to the Crown, and you were consorting with a powerful demon," Tobin said. “That means that we're going to take you in for some questioning. It's our legal right, and we're going to find out exactly what's going on and what you were plotting against the kingdom."

"But I wasn't plotting anything against the kingdom," Liam said, still holding onto the thin sliver of hope that if he just reasoned with them, then it would be enough for them to release him.

Of course he had no intention of telling them that once he was released he had every intention of circling back around and trying to rescue Ana. He still wasn't sure how he was going to do it with all these Inquisitors all around. He wasn't sure of his ability to take them on, for all that he’d gained what felt like considerable power in the outskirts of Isai.

He also figured they didn’t need to know any of those plans.

"You're wasting your breath, boy," Tobin said. "You'd be better off thinking about pleasant memories of good times in your life, because they're over."

"Wonderful," Liam said, rolling his eyes.

The Inquisitor glared at him, and then he brought his horse up so it was alongside the window on one side. He banged his fist against the bars, and they sparked and glowed as he cursed and pulled his hand back. Liam felt a tingle running through his body too. Sort of like the feeling he got when he touched the bars, only there wasn’t any arcane mana running through him at the moment so it was more like an echo of that tingle.

"You're supposed to be in pain right now," Albert said.

"What?" Liam asked.

"Pain. You need to act like you're in pain right now."

"Oh, right," Liam said. He put a hand up to his head. "Oh, woe is me. It hurts so much."

"That's your best attempt at looking like you’re in pain?" Albert said, his voice dry as he stared up at Liam.

"If I'm being perfectly honest, I haven't been in that much pain before," Liam said with a shrug.

"I see," Albert said.

"That's right," Tobin said, a cruel laugh coming through the bars. Though Liam could see him shaking his hand. He wasn’t sure what was going on there, but clearly it wasn’t the best design if he had to hurt himself to hurt Liam. "And you can expect a whole hells of a lot more where that came from, considering the depths of your treachery."

Tobin pulled away from the coach and moved back. Liam could hear the sound of the horse moving along even if he didn't go up to look out the bars. He waited until he heard Ragnar and Tobin both chatting with each other and laughing before he peeked out. Ragnar was looking right at him. It was a piercing sort of look. The kind of look that said he didn't trust Liam at all.

Though he didn’t react like he still thought Liam was supposed to be in pain. At least he wasn’t arousing any suspicions.

Not that Liam could fault the Inquisitor for not trusting him. He was planning on breaking free and doing whatever he could to rescue Ana, and he assumed that would have to mean hurting at least some of these people.

"Well, that didn't go well," Liam muttered.

"Not at all," Albert said.

"Go ahead and say it," Liam said with a sigh.

"Almost as though somebody told you it wouldn't be a good idea for you to try and engage the Inquisition."

"I had to try," Liam said. "You never know. I might've been able to get out of this without actually having to hurt any of them."

"They've taken you captive," Albert said. "Why in the worlds would you care about hurting them?"

"Because I don't want to hurt someone unnecessarily if I can avoid it," Liam said with a shrug.

"What kind of monster have I created?" Albert said, shaking his head.

"Don't worry," Liam said, reaching a hand out to idly stroke the cat's back. "Now that they've made it clear they don't want to talk, it's time to consider other options."

"Now that's more like it," Albert said, perking up.