Volume 5, Chapter 1 – The Tournament. Oblivion
Ten minutes before death.
I sat on the cliff, trying to somehow start the conversation about that tooth-shattering... thing. Uyana was pondering the head of the DSSS. The sun was slowly setting, and there were fewer and fewer ships on the river, replacing the sounds with crickets and croaking frogs.
Inhale. Exhale.
"I want to say that I like you," I said directly, looking at Uyana.
"Why?" Uyana reacted calmly.
"Why?"
"Yes. Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'?"
"In the literal sense of the word. Why?"
I thought, trying to understand — what "why"? Why do I like her?! It's strange. I like her, probably because she's so cold... Unattainable and, of course, beautiful. I like her mind, her character, the ability to take and knock out my teeth — and then restore them. The fact that she's here now, talking to me. My first friend in this world — I wouldn't say Charles and I are friends, since we've only met once. But with her, we went through two cities, through the catacombs into the capital, the battle with the Archmages — and she was there...
"I like you without a 'why.' You just opened my eyes — that those labeled 'bad' doesn't mean soulless. You're different — and I like you the way you are," I confessed sincerely.
Uyana stood up and looked at a lone ship passing under the bridge.
"Uh-huh... But why me? If I opened your eyes, the choice could fall on anyone bad?" Uyana asked without emotion.
I stood up, facing her, and looked into her eyes.
"Why search for copper... when you've found an emerald," I tried to joke.
Uyana smiled for a second and turned away, walking along the cliff's edge, studying the duckweed under her feet.
"I can't... I had a husband, to whom I promised not to betray his love. Maybe... It's stupid... Maybe strange... But he died in a bar brawl with guards in our youth," — Uyana turned to me, smiling. "— Maybe I'm just a shield for you, not a center of gravity... You're lonely, but in this world there are those who will share their heart with you — but it won't be me... I... Will be a loyal support, but not a sincere wife for you. And if we started dating, everything would become..." — Uyana snorted, lifting part of her fringe. "— A farce..."
I hung my head a little — but she's right. And she's so loyal to her husband that I can't do anything but accept her as she is. Losing people is hard and painful... I couldn't survive the loss of even one officer. I struggle with the loss of their equipment. And Aviana still haunts my nightmares... And how hard it is for her, I can't imagine — but I can understand... And a lump formed in my throat, my cheeks pulling toward my eyes, trying to hold back "stingy" male tears.
"I underst—"
"Seraphim," someone called me — and Uyana and I turned sharply.
(What? It was a woman in a black mantle with a large hood covering her face. Another Guya? What do they want?)
"Hello."
Uyana had already appeared behind her, blade ready, while agents glanced around, ready to react at any moment.
"And I see you've already learned the language. Praiseworthy, praiseworthy," the Woman answered, ignoring Uyana.
(Learned the language? How does she know that? Wait.)
"Stop! You! Asa?!" my voice broke.
"Exactly. Goodbye, Seraphim," she answered.
"Goodbye?"
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM.
I felt cold spreading through my body — adrenaline spiked and vanished instantly. I was falling to the ground, watching that same pistol I'd given to Duke Malevych fire a whole magazine into me — and Asa's head was cut off, flying down with me.
I'd prepared my own death from the very first day in this world. I gave it to my executioner and waited. And now I lie here with a trembling cold and blurred vision that got harder to hold every second. Asa's head rolled across the field, and hundreds of people ran toward me, trying to help — but I heard nothing and had completely forgotten the language I'd studied so painstakingly. Only... The sunset...
What a beautiful sunset. Who knew I'd end here? That my life would end exactly like this — when everyone was ready for the tournament and battles, I became the one who'd die here...
There's no pain — only an orange spot before my eyes, fading. Death. I'm still mortal — nothing changed. I was always mortal — and this is a reminder of how dangerous just a single pistol is.
—
—
[The Void]
(Pupupu. You died again.)
(Hello... Yeah... I did it myself...)
(I noticed. And how was it?.. Dying.)
(Scary... And lonely.)
(Like the first time?)
(No. Back then I had no family — but now I avoided touching my family for their safety.)
(I see...)
(Did I die for good? Like the officers? Will they manage?)
(They didn't. They killed themselves the moment they found out.)
(What?.. Can you bring them back? They shouldn't die — they're people.)
(And the fact that you died — you don't care?)
(I do care. I had a chance at a new life, but I missed it — like my last life. But I was still happy for every day I spent in this world. And the officers lived too little.)
(I see... I'll rewind time. And bring you back to the world — but something will change.)
(Will the officers live?)
(Yes.)
(Then I agree.)
(Don't you want to know what the "something" is?)
(It doesn't matter — the main thing is they'll be alive.)
(I see. Good luck, then.)
—
—
I opened my eyes — I was sitting on the same cliff. I quickly felt myself over and found nothing. I'm alive again!
Uyana was walking nearby — I jumped up quickly and headed toward her.
"Uyana!" I shouted — and two blades were instantly at my face.
Uyana spun sharply and walked up to me. I was surrounded by two Agents, ready to slit my throat.
"How do you know that name?" she asked curiously, touching my face.
"What do you mean? We were just talking. You told me yourself," I said, my voice breaking, tears of joy streaming at seeing her.
Uyana looked around — seeing a dozen GPSD.
"You're mistaken. My name isn't that. And I don't know you," she answered emotionlessly and vanished. The agents released me and dispersed into the tent city, slipping back into their roles.
(What? She doesn't know me?)
I looked around, spotted Lelik's tent, and ran toward it headlong with joy, trying to process that I was alive and that Uyana had reacted that way. (Why did she lie that it wasn't her name? After all our time together, she chose to do that? Why? Maybe she decided she needed time to think about everything I told her. I hope...)
I ran up to Lelik's tent.
"Lelik! Hey! I'm so glad to see you!" — I reached over the counter to hug him.
"Whoa. Easy there, little dude. If you won at the bets, that doesn't mean it's hugging time," he protested, pushing me off. "If you won, you need to go again! We have three fights right now! So?"
"What? But what about all the helicopter flights? All your antics?" I stammered, watching Lelik just drawing new odds on the board.
"You know something about helicopters? Dude, what's that? Plenty of people know about my antics. Because I'm—" he struck a ceremonial pose, "—The True Frenchman from the Democracy of Silence!"
"But I'm the Commander! I live there!" I shouted, trying to get through to him.
"Cough! HAHAHA!" Lelik laughed. "Kid, our Commander is way too cool, and you don't look anything like him! Alright, shoo, autographs later, I've got work," Lelik started shooing me away.
(How... So they don't remember me? I just... don't exist for them? But maybe that's good... It means they won't be in danger because of me...)
I smiled sadly, watching from the side as Pex businesslike twirled his cane in his hand, with Arleigh standing in front of him, laughing so loudly that my heart flinched. (They're happy — and I have no place in this celebration. I'll have a lonely life — but the main thing is, they'll be alive...)
(They're alive, and the Democracy of Silence exists too... So I shouldn't worry — they'll manage. I was their Achilles' heel... Now they don't have to worry that some Seraphim will catch a bullet and need to be dragged out. They can live peacefully and bring technologies to this world. Bicycles and good clothing. And I just won't try to contact them — because if I manage to befriend them, maybe we'll grow so close that they'd be ready to die for me — but no...)
I wiped a stream of tears, glancing at Arleigh and Pex with a trembling smile, a whole stone formed in my throat that was so hard to swallow — and I turned away from them.
I looked away — and before my face stood Guya, examining me like a figurine.
"[I] Why are you crying? Candy not tasty?" she asked, peering at me with her big red eyes.
I flinched — but for some reason, suddenly grabbed her, hugging her tightly. I didn't know her at all — but I just wanted to hug someone, even if it was an IBR-A agent.
"[I] Um. That's a pretty strange pickup," she looked at the back of my head, feeling my pockets but finding only an ordinary rapier and Rekhilon documents.
I squeezed her, trying to get a little warmth for my whole future.
"[I] Thank you," I said clumsily.
"[I] Thank you?" she was surprised, pulling away.
Guya straightened her clothes and returned a mischievous smile, watching me from under her fringe.
"[I] Bye, weirdo," she waved a hand — the one without the rapier burn.
(Good thing we're not acquainted — I hurt her too... Goodbye, Guya. Goodbye, that whole life... Life surrounded by officers. Goodbye, Mary-Sue... You were the best — and you remain so.)
I watched Guya go — the last person I remember from those good times. I glanced one more time with a smile at Pex and Arleigh — and a heaviness appeared in my mouth, my heart aching as it recalled how he taught me fencing, how we set off on the first operation in the Silent Silence, how he saved me from the swarm of flies.
(And goodbye, Arleigh — kind, cheerful, the one who couldn't handle her hair. It's hard to let all of this go — all of them. But I love them — so it's better to let go...)
Aviana passed before me like a ghost from the past. I froze, remembering how she died from that stupid immortality test... And now she just walks through this camp and breathes — and I drill into her back with tears in my eyes, trying to stop them — but I can't.
(I need to... Live on my own now? I don't even have a home anymore... Everything's gone. It hurts — but it's necessary. What do I do... I want to live. Maybe sometimes cross eyes with them in this world — but that means I need to settle somewhere...)
I wiped my tears, fully pulling myself together, and smiled one last time, glancing at Pex and Arleigh — and turned away with such heaviness that my arm cramped from the effort. (They'll be fine. Now I need to think about myself — on my own.)
(Wait?! I remembered Lelik's words that they have a Commander... Doesn't that mean God just put some person in place, giving them this ability, and moved me here...)
(But... But... That's good, right? They're probably stronger, and can easily stand up for themselves, without forcing all the officers to protect them. I'll believe that... How can they live without a Commander, heh — but they all look happy.)
I quickly returned to Lelik, though my gaze couldn't comprehend it.
"You again. Whaddya want, little dude?" Lelik snorted displeased.
(He stands so close and answers so coldly...)
"Who's the president of our... Your country?" I stammered.
"Yo, dude! Don't embarrass yourself, bro — President of the Democracy of Silence!" — he drummed on the counter. "— Lady Tezrian."
(Lady?)
(I was just swapped out like a puzzle piece. In any case, if God put her there, then He knows she'll manage and make all the officers happy — something I couldn't do.)
(I need to calm down and try to live in this world. Why is this so hard! Living in a world where you know you have a family — but they don't know you...)
(Inhale-exhale.)
(But I can meet her at the tournament — if she came here for Operation "Not a Word of French." Because that's what it looks like...)
I turned around with a plan and started scanning the area — and saw a flash-mobber in a long coat. That's who I need.
"Hi," I approached him with swollen eyes. "(Whisper) A thousand gold," — I held out my Rekhilon passport.
The Agent looked around and handed me ten pouches of gold with interest — ten percent weekly. (Almost like a bank — except the bank is aimed at robbery.)
"Thanks," I thanked him and returned to Lelik.
"I'm betting a thousand gold on Lady Tezrian — and each fight, the whole amount automatically rolls onto the next fight. And the final fight — all the money on me beating the Lady," — I slammed the pouches onto the counter with a thud, and everyone around the counter got agitated, whispering.
"Uh! Excellent! Bets accepted. Return is only twenty percent of the sum. And what's your name, little dude?" Lelik giggled, scooping the gold under the counter.
"Seraphim," I said with pain, facing Lelik.
(Seraphim?) (Yeah, dude's not right in the head) (M-hm, all for popularity) (Five hundred says he won't even reach S!)
"Seraphim..." he started flipping through his notebook. "Ha-ha. Dude, your road is a long one — from B to the S finals..."
(B?.. But that's even better! I'll warm up and get to meet the Lady — just to make sure she's really good for my whole family.)
"Believe me. I'm quite the Commander," I smiled, holding back tears.
"Uh-huh. Okay. Little dude," Lelik answered cheerfully, doing a pantomime in front of the counter, showing he couldn't hear me.
I sighed, gathering strength, and headed to the registration desk to find out when my division would fight.
"Tomorrow at seven," the Girl answered briefly, flipping through a stack of Democrats and finally finding my name.
I nodded and, amid whispers from all sides, headed to the cliff — to train and think.