Volume 1, Chapter 16 – Lelik and the Helicopter Choice
Maybe I should fulfill that helicopter wish right here? And honestly, AA Officer is really cool — he's so unusual, and that's exactly what makes him so captivating.
I started scanning the clearing for him. Nowhere to be seen.
"Hey... Do you know where AA Officer is?" I walked up to Zumwalt, who was elegantly polishing his shoes to a mirror shine — so bright I could see my reflection.
"Ah... That one..." he answered lazily. "Probably climbing trees. That's AA for you... Just call him," he yawned. "him."
"Just call him? How?" I watched, mesmerized, as he polished his shoes, forgetting he wasn't even human.
"Oh..." lazily. "Well, it's obvious," he yawned. "Just say 'AA, appear' — and he..." he sped up the polishing. "will appear right in front of you..."
"Thanks."
"Yeah," lazily.
(This Zumwalt looks like some kind of aristocrat who's too lazy to even talk.)
Alright...
I stepped away from him. Let's try...
"AA, appear!" I said into the air.
In front of me appeared AA, kneeling, as if trying to drink water from some pond. But I'd summoned him here, and he froze in that position.
"Huh?" he turned his head in surprise, still not getting up from his "crab" pose.
"Uh... Can you give me a ride in a helicopter?" I squinted, asking the question as if I'd dialed the wrong number.
AA jumped up, putting on his shoes again. (Does he have some kind of shoe problem?)
"Of course, COMMANDER!" he shouted. "You can call me APACHE!" he shouted again. "Or... Black Hawk, or Chinook... Or... Heli... Or Chopp..." he thought, counting names on his fingers.
"Okay. That's it. I'll call you Lelik — from 'helicopter.'"
"Awesome!" Lelik snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "Bingo! A French name for me! Hold on, one sec!" And he disappeared.
A second later, he appeared with white face paint, a striped shirt, a red scarf, and a beret on his head.
"Voi!" he bowed, pulling a baguette from somewhere.
"Hey! French people don't dress like that."
"Bro. If they didn't dress like that, where would this outfit come from?"
"Those are stereotypes from people who've never been to France."
"Okay. Fine. But French people do this, right?" And he started a mime performance. It was actually pretty good — I almost believed there was an invisible wall in front of him.
"No. Nobody does that," I cut him off.
Lelik made such a REALISTIC sad face that you could tell he performed mime every day.
"Okay. Back to business. What about helicopters? Which one do you want to try? Apache, Hawks, Chinook?" he asked, wiping the makeup off his face and changing clothes. (Where did he get that jacket? It wasn't in my field of vision just a second ago.)
"None of that means anything to me," I sighed, feeling guilty.
"Bro! It's all good! A Black Hawk would be perfect for you right now! You can dangle your legs off the side, enjoy the wind, feel the height, see all those officers," he waved his hand across the clearing, pointing at everyone, "like ants."
"Okay. Let's go with that."
Lelik disappeared, and in his place appeared a massive hulk on wheels with enormous rotors and wings. Missiles were mounted on the wings, some round thing with a bunch of smaller... missiles? In front, something like a large white camera. It took up the entire clearing, making the officers grumble and scatter.
I stood there, stunned by the scale of this machine. It looked bulky and dangerous.
"Meet the Armed Black Hawk!" he stood beside me grandly, presenting the helicopter with his hands. He was already dressed like a pilot — helmet, headset.
"Don't like it?" he snapped his fingers — a Black Hawk without wings appeared, all black. "Still no? You're quite the gourmet, I see. How about this?" — snap. Now a Chinook of incredible size stood before me — I had to step back. "Still no? Then maybe this?" — snap. An Apache appeared.
I watched in complete shock, unable to close my mouth. It felt like I was flipping through helicopters in a video game.
"And maybe this?" Lelik frowned, carefully pushing me further away. All the officers also scattered to some incredible distance.
Snap.
BOOM.
Night fell. Or rather, a massive shadow fell over me from an airplane wing. It was a Lockheed C-130 Hercules.
Boom-boom-boom — trees fell: the second wing had cut them in half upon appearing.
"Uh-uh-uh..." I tried to gather my thoughts. "Let's go with... the first one."