Volume 1, Chapter 9 – That’s It?
I slowly raised the pistol, gripping it however I could — the main thing was not to touch the trigger. I can do this. Alon didn't even know what it was, but he managed! Am I worse?
And there I was, aiming the barrel at the fort. My arms were starting to go numb, I was drenched in sweat, my whole body tingling.
"Like this?" I asked without looking away from the pistol, my voice trembling.
"No. That grip is quite dangerous and could injure your fingers. You could also bruise your wrist," the Soldier replied emotionlessly, not even turning toward me.
(How did he know? How did he see?)
"Show me the right way," I asked, so he could position my hands himself — but really, I was just trying to stall before the shot.
The Soldier approached and repositioned my hands quite painfully — probably because I was gripping the barrel in a death grip. He roughly kicked at my feet, moving them into position, and tapped my elbows with his palm to keep them straight, posing me like a statue. He didn't care that I was scared, that this meant a lot to me, that I was about to do something I'd never done in my entire past life. To him, it was just a "commander's task" without the "be careful" addendum.
I'm ready. I closed my eyes and held my breath, trying to stop my heart too. My finger slowly slid toward the trigger, trembling with fear, missing at first, then finding its place.
That's it. One shot. That's all.
I slowly pressed, trying to fire.
Click.
Nothing happened. Why? What happened? Maybe that's a good thing? Or did I not notice?
"Decocker," the Soldier said briefly.
(And what's that?)
"Do it?" I asked tensely, trying to hand off this "task" without wanting to change anything about my stance.
The Soldier stepped closer and clicked something on the left side of the barrel.
"Done."
"Done?" I asked in fright, completely unprepared. "And the headphones! Right!" — I found another excuse to stall.
The Soldier disappeared into the fort. I sighed, still frozen in position, afraid to move. The Soldier returned and put the headphones on me — I immediately felt calmer. It felt like if I couldn't hear, then nothing bad would happen.
The wind lightly brushed past my sweaty arms, sending goosebumps across my skin.
Silence.
My finger twitched.
BOOM.
The recoil pushed lightly into my hands, and a small hole gleamed in the fort wall. That's it? That's all? I thought my arms would break from the recoil, but it felt like being nudged in rush hour traffic.
"That was awesome! Huh! Can I do it again?"