Fractures of Eternity

Aches rose in my chest as my eyes shifted away from the old woman, whose son I took away.

I…

“We were lucky, Leonard was a dominant vampire. So, it worked out for him. The only problem that came was that my beautiful baby boy got my father’s eyes, sky blue; they were beautiful.” She cried, prompting my eyes to sting.

I’m… So sorry.

She used to be this woman who seemed unmovable, but that was a simple mask to hide how brittle, broken, and full of pain she was.

“Andrea and Asher have red ones, and that made the rumors of Leonard not being her child spread like wildfire.” She tried to compose herself. “It made the queen want nothing to do with my baby boy. So, I was able to raise him along with the other maids. However, since she couldn’t conceive, the bitch had no choice but to accept Leonard as hers, rumors and all. Then… well, he was killed by a cult.”

Us… Argh…

As I shifted my gaze to meet her trembling body, I noticed she was holding a pendant in her hand. It seemed similar to the one Tania had been carrying.

I… All of this is just wrong!

“Loki, Oswald, and Alistair… You…” I mumbled.

Hearing their names caused her to turn to me and smile softly. “They’re my beautiful grandsons.”

I… I… If this is all true, then I can’t be the only one guilty!

“If that’s so, how can you not stand up for them?! Especially Alistair?! He’s actively suffering because of Asher!” I snarled, not knowing what to feel anymore.

We’ve caused so much pain and suffering. All for what? To live? Do we deserve it? I… don’t know anymore, but even then…I don’t want to die. I want to feel…

I had no right to be angry at Gerta, but she didn’t seem surprised at my outburst.

“How can I? There’s a viper in the midst of this castle—one full of hatred. Do you think it’s Asher doing all of this? No, sweety. All the blame always falls on him because he’s too sick to do anything about it. He tries his best with what he can do to protect the boys from her, while still keeping the nobles happy with false hope.” Gerta opened her locket, revealing a picture of her king and their son inside. “He has been sick for ten years now. Constantly fighting in the hopes that he stays alive long enough to let the kids grow more. All he’s trying to do is harden their heart, so they don’t break as he did!”

Wiping her tears, she knew more about what happened behind the doors to this shattered family.

“Gerta…” I trailed off.

“If our son were still alive, none of this would’ve happened! He willingly married a female whom Andrea chose, all so he could get the crown to change the laws, but with him gone, all of it has gone awry!” She pursed her lips, struggling to keep the tears in check.

“I… didn’t know,” I mumbled, prompting her to shake her head and raise her hand toward me.

“Argh… What am I saying? Part of me knows that’s wishful thinking. I mean, look at Fenris. He’s been trying to change Lycans for the longest time, and some are still going crazy over who his grandkids will marry. Royals marry for advantages rather than love, and that’s ingrained into the system we currently have.” She huffed, “Fenris is lucky to be the strongest of them all, which gives him leeway to change things easier, but Vampires are all the same to one another. No one’s stronger. Well, until Loki came along, but he wants nothing to do with the crown.”

“Will they force him like they did to his granddad and father?” I asked, prompting her to bite her lip.

“With Rem so close, no, Loki is relatively safe, but Alistair is another matter. How I wish the world would be redone and changed. I still hope there are pieces of my Leonard in him that will allow him to change the world, but I don’t know if he has the strength in his heart to do it.” She closed the locket. “My boy never knew that I was his real mother, and I couldn’t find the strength to tell him, while he was alive, but I was glad to see him grow into a wonderful man. One that brought three petty demons into this world, but I adore them, too. More than they will ever know.”

Hah… This is all too much. You also deserve to have your family.

“Though those three have no respect or grace like their dad did.” The head maid appeared to use that to get a hold of herself.

“Gerta… You should tell them who you are.” I breathed, facing her head on.

“No, I don’t need to add to their already difficult lives. Alistair is currently fucked by the system, but Loki also has one of the biggest burdens on him. Many nobles and other royals are urging Asher to marry him off to another noble girl, which is the reason why he made this stupid ball—a ruse for the aristocrats to feel good about it.” She informed me.

“I see,” I mumbled.

“So, after telling you everything you should know, I repeat my previous question. What’s your relationship with Loki?” Gerta circled, pinning me right where I was.

“I can’t…” I trailed off, biting my lip, as her gaze on me felt heavier than ever before.

“I feel something about you, Vivian.” Gerta sighed, shaking her head.

“What?” I barely voiced.

“I think you’ll do something big. I don’t know why I feel this way, but I think you will. Just don’t hurt my grandson on your way. Please, he’s all I got left.” She begged, gazing at me.

Her expression made me want to crumble.

“I… can’t promise that,” I answered honestly, gazing away from her.

“Ah… Very well, I can’t stop your relationship, but be wary of the vipers that surround you. If you don’t, you won’t realize when their venom surrounds you.” She warned, placing her locket away.

Hah… Andrea is nothing to me, but I can’t deny that you are right about that. Gods and mortals aren’t that different, as power influences us in ways that end up corrupting us.

Even though my mind was chaotic, it traveled to Loki and Eli. My desire to be with them grew—the only one who accepted me.

Hah… If I never existed, your family would’ve been whole, and Papa nor Lilith would have to deal with the mess that is my life. Why does my existence have to cause so much pain? Rem’s right, I’m an abomination.

I gazed towards Luna, who slept on my lap peacefully, unaware of what I was.

Will I allow more pain to exist? This little girl is innocent, no matter who her parents are.

Loki once said he didn’t hate all eternal witches, as he wouldn’t allow the sins of others to affect the way he saw the whole.

But can I be like that? No, I can’t.

“Gerta… I’m sorry, but I’m not a good girl.” I whispered, as she didn’t hear me, focusing on the side of the cage we found ourselves in.

Even if it causes everyone pain, I want to live. I’ll struggle until my last breath, no matter what!