Livestream Matchmaking: My Intel Infinitely Refreshes

"She’s a bit of a late bloomer, isn’t she?" Zhang Zhe asked.

"A late bloomer at 28?" an auntie standing nearby couldn’t help but chime in. "Now I see why some women in their thirties still think they’re young girls."

"It turns out the root of the problem is you parents."

"Ma’am, please don’t get upset. The gentleman here is just saying his daughter’s mindset is a little immature."

"When you’re overprotected by your family and haven’t experienced any real hardships, you end up like that."

"Yes, yes, exactly." The old man nodded repeatedly, looking at Zhang Zhe as if he’d found a kindred spirit. "Teacher Zhang, you’re really something. You hit the nail right on the head."

[The streamer’s sweet-talked this old guy back into the womb.]

[To be honest, I’m 30, and sometimes I still feel like a dramatic teenager.]

[Who doesn’t want to be young forever? But life won’t let you.]

[I can accept a partner who’s a bit childish, but being a superfan is an absolute deal-breaker. It’s too much of a waste of money and energy.]

"Her mother and I both feel that our girl will only mature after she gets married and becomes a mother herself." The old man sighed, a hint of helplessness in his voice.

"We want to find her a guy with a higher education who can guide her in life. If we find her someone who also just likes to have fun, who knows what kind of trouble the two of them would get into."

"I see..." Hearing this, Zhang Zhe finally understood the family’s line of thinking.

’They’re looking for a reliable man who’s smart, has good genes, can hold down a steady job to support a family, and won’t fool around.’

At a matchmaking agency, they could, of course, state these requirements directly.

But this was a public matchmaking corner, where the gap between people can be wider than the gap between a person and a dog. So, they resorted to using a "985 university" degree as a filter to weed out unsuitable candidates.

Seeing the old man’s expectant gaze, Zhang Zhe decided to pour a bucket of cold water on him.

’While the girl’s still young, it’s best to face reality early. Maybe there’s still hope for her.’

"Sir, I have a group chat here."

"You don’t need to take out your phone. I’m not asking you to join it. I just want to introduce you to the members. They’re basically all from 985 universities."

"This one, from Xiamen University’s architecture department, works at a design institute now;"

"This one is from Beihang University. He’s in Yanjing now, contributing to the space program;"

"This buddy is from the National Defense Science and Technology University, currently stationed over in Guangdong Province;"

"And this one, he’s from the National Science and Technology University. It’s not a 985, but his college entrance exam score was high enough to get into Tongji..."

[Brother Zhang is really pulling out his most impressive contacts for this.]

[If any of these guys would actually go for this girl, I’ll eat something live on stream.]

[Qing City has so many talented people? Too bad they all left.]

"Teacher Zhang, these are all your classmates, right?" The old man wasn’t a fool. Even though the group name said "Anime Exchange Group," the fact that Zhang Zhe could recite their details just by looking at their profile pictures clearly meant their relationship was special. "None of them are married?"

"That’s right. It’s pretty normal to be unmarried at 30 these days, isn’t it?"

"Sir, just a moment. I’ll chat with them."

Zhang Zhe had originally planned to just show the old man the conversation directly, but he was afraid his buddies in the group would be too blunt and give the old man a heart attack from anger.

"Brothers, there’s an old man here who wants me to help find a match for his daughter."

"?"

"There’s a sweet deal like this and you actually thought of us?"

"Is it Xiaonan Niang? If not, I’m not interested."

"This is for real this time." Zhang Zhe knew he couldn’t let his friends derail the conversation, because once they went off-topic, they’d very likely just start talking about Nan Niang.

"Let me tell you her stats: born in ’97, an only child, works as an accountant at a local state-owned enterprise here in Qing City, family owns a car, a house, and commercial property..."

"The girl likes to travel, chase celebrities, and is a fan of the TFBoys."

"Alright everyone, be serious. I’m going to show your answers to her father."

Zhang Zhe rarely spoke in this tone, so his friends quickly realized he was being serious.

Someone in the group had done something similar before—that time it was actually for Xiaonan Niang—so no one was surprised.

After all, it was an anime group chat. How could it not get a little absurd?

"Alright, alright, using your buddies as a social experiment, are we?"

"Tell the old man his daughter is too good for us. We’re not worthy."

"She’s a superfan, why isn’t she trying to marry a celebrity instead of a mere mortal like one of us?"

"Still chasing celebrities at 28? She gave her youth to the stars, and now she expects some chump to foot the bill in her old age, is that it?"

"Getting married at this age? Diagnosis: in need of a new provider. I’ll laugh at whoever takes on that burden."

"I’m supposed to earn money so she can travel and chase her idols? Sorry, I’ll stick with my right hand."

Zhang Zhe waited a minute for his group to have their say, hid the two most aggressive messages, and then handed his phone to the old man.

"Not a single one is willing."

Hearing this, the old man quickly looked at the chat history.

The auntie behind him also wanted to come over and rubberneck, but Zhang Zhe blocked her view, only showing the old man the most crucial messages.

"Finished reading?"

"Mhm." The old man nodded. "They’re all pretty clear-headed."

"They’re really just worried that my daughter’s expenses will fall entirely on them in the future. With her high spending, they wouldn’t be able to handle it."

"It might be fine when it’s just the two of them, but if they have kids, the pressure would be immense."

"That’s perfectly normal. If I had a son, I wouldn’t let him find a wife like that either."

[Holy crap, this old guy is way too reasonable.]

[The old man’s not wrong.]

[If your family is rich, does she really have to get married?]

[I’m so curious what Brother Zhang’s classmates said. Did they enlighten this old man or what?]

"Teacher Zhang, in that case, does this mean I should be looking for a live-in son-in-law with a 985 degree?"

"That’s not a bad line of thinking." Zhang Zhe hadn’t expected the old man’s perspective to shift so quickly. "However, I’d suggest you broaden the education requirement to include 211 universities."

"A lot of top university graduates from our Qing City are out there hustling in first-tier cities. There probably aren’t many who would be willing to come home to be a live-in husband."

"Alright, I’ll take your advice." The old man nodded, put his daughter’s information card away, and instead of scanning the WeChat QR code for Teacher Wang’s matchmaking service, he gave Zhang Zhe a mysterious smile.

He knew what kind of "matchmaking service" Zhang Zhe was running, so of course he wouldn’t add that.

Judging by the direction he was headed, it seemed the old man was going straight home.

The auntie who had been in line behind him quickly sat down.

But Zhang Zhe didn’t rush to help her. Instead, he addressed the viewers in his livestream:

"We’re currently at the matchmaking corner in Lotus Park."

"Anyone local to Qing City who needs their dating market position analyzed can come right over. It’s best to get here early in the afternoon, otherwise..."

Zhang Zhe raised his phone and panned across the line of waiting uncles and aunties.

’The line goes on forever,’ he thought. ’Teacher Wang was so clever to find a spot in the shade. The sun is peeking in and out right now, but it’ll probably get hot this afternoon. Being a Matchmaker, it seems, is physically demanding work, too.’

[Damn, is it really this popular?]

[Brother Zhang’s a big star now.]

[Just look at the livestream, you can tell how tough the dating market is these days.]

[This isn’t even that many. When Wang Po from Wansui Mountain came last time, the crowd was several times bigger than this.]

[Any bros heading over? I’m on my way.]

"Teacher Zhang." The new auntie’s face crinkled into a smile. "Here is my daughter’s information. Could you please take a look?"

"Her qualifications are quite good. See if your matchmaking service can help find someone suitable."

"Of course, of course," Zhang Zhe said with a smile, taking the info card.

But right away, his eyes landed on a key piece of information on the woman’s profile:

[Owns two properties and a Mercedes SUV, currently works at a local media company.]