Chapter 209: dog Xiaosa
Still thoroughly confused, Ji Ruxue followed them out. Then, before she had any idea what was happening, someone shoved a square ebony box carved with gold into her hands.
She accepted it reflexively and looked down.
“This is...”
Yu Qingtang was still talking to his sectmates, but he found a moment to turn around and tell her, “The Heaven-Questioning artifact. Hurry up and ask!”
Ji Ruxue’s eyes flew wide open.
At a loss, she looked up toward the clouds—and met the immortal’s searching gaze directly.
Her face instantly went white.
Wen Tianxia stepped forward and blocked her from view, a faint smile appearing on his face.
“Interesting. We actually managed to pull one over on him. This...”
Tianji Zi flew past up ahead and turned back smugly.
“Impressive, right? I arranged it.”
The smile vanished from Wen Tianxia’s face.
He instantly returned to his usual expressionlessness.
Daoist Idle Crane muttered, “That old coot really knows how to take credit.”
Above the clouds, the immortal lowered his gaze.
He reached toward Ji Ruxue.
The Heaven-Questioning artifact in her hands trembled faintly, then began pulling upward as though seized by some invisible force.
Fear appeared on Ji Ruxue’s face, but she clutched the sacred artifact tightly with both hands.
She did not dare meet Bu Yetian’s eyes.
Even her voice was trembling.
“Immortal Venerable...”
The descending hand did not hesitate.
It blotted out the sky, inspiring instinctive terror in everyone beneath it.
Ying Wujue raised his bow and loosed an arrow.
The arrow of condensed spiritual power struck the immortal’s hand without so much as throwing off a spark.
A sigh came from midair.
The old Pill King strolled over at an unhurried pace. The pill furnace in his hand opened and swallowed Yu Qingtang, Ji Ruxue, Scholar Xiao, and the others in one gulp.
Bu Yetian’s hand closed on empty air.
“You.”
Bu Yetian finally spoke.
His voice was indifferent, cold enough to seem coated in ice.
“You have remained at the Mahayana stage for many years without ever crossing that line. I thought you knew better.”
“I never had such lofty ambitions to begin with.” The old Pill King smiled amiably. Even now, he looked as though nothing could truly anger him.
“But when the whole world is moving as one, how could I stand apart?”
Behind him, the people from Nanzhou finally arrived.
The demon race members of the Pleasure Sect came charging toward Ye Chenyan, shouting “Sect Master!” and “Demonic Sovereign!” at the tops of their lungs. They ran in a completely disorderly mob with absolutely no discipline, dressed in every color imaginable and looking spectacularly gaudy.
Pretty Butterfly swept her gaze around, then widened her eyes in alarm.
“Hey, hey, hey! Why do I only see that Ye guy? Where’s Little Yu?!”
The old Pill King pointed at his pill furnace.
“Inside.”
Pretty Butterfly looked at him suspiciously.
“You’re on our side, right? You’re not secretly planning to refine him into a pill, are you?”
The old Pill King laughed despite himself and shook his head good-naturedly.
“Don’t worry. I have some ties with those young friends as well.”
dog Xiaosa sounded somewhat wistful.
“But I guess that’s normal. Shut-ins like us—even if we transmigrate into a book one day, we’re not going to turn from socially anxious nerds into Casanovas overnight...”
“Uh...” Yu Qingtang looked up guiltily. “There was one person he stole away, though.”
“Huh?” dog Xiaosa immediately misunderstood him. “He stole your girl too? That’s seriously not cool!”
“Not exactly.” Yu Qingtang opened his mouth, but still could not bring himself to explain.
Instead, he urged him, “Have you figured it out yet? Stop asking about this stuff! They’re already fighting outside. Everyone’s waiting on you!”
“I’m looking, I’m looking!” dog Xiaosa sounded flustered. “I’m digging through my files! I remember that in my original draft, when he fought his way out, he definitely hadn’t become an immortal yet...”
“Hm?” Yu Qingtang’s eyes lit up. “You still have your original draft notes?”
“Of course. I showed them to my editor and got rejected.” dog Xiaosa sighed nostalgically. “Back then I still had some shame, so I hadn’t given him a harem. He stayed single all the way to the end, and then my editor started questioning whether he even had a d—”
“Cough! Cough, cough!”
Yu Qingtang hastily cut him off and offered a few consoling words.
“So all those harems were something you were forced to add just to make a living? That must’ve been hard on you.”
“Not really,” dog Xiaosa answered honestly. “I had a pretty good time writing them.”
“If my editor hadn’t said anything, I just wouldn’t have had the nerve to go that far.”
Yu Qingtang: “...”
“What’s {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} that supposed to mean?” dog Xiaosa demanded while continuing to rummage through his files. “It’s the kind of plot everyone loves! Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it.”
Yu Qingtang put on a righteous expression.
“I don’t.”
dog Xiaosa sneered.
“Bullshit! Either you’re pretending, or you’re gay.”
Yu Qingtang choked.
“I-I’m just a champion of true love!”
“Oh, give me a break!” dog Xiaosa rolled his eyes. “There were that many girls of every possible type and you didn’t like a single one? You’re definitely gay!”
Yu Qingtang clenched his fists.
Scholar Xiao hurriedly grabbed him.
“Brother Yu. Brother Yu. Endure.”
“Oh, right, you still haven’t told me.” dog Xiaosa continued without the slightest filter. “Which character did you transmigrate into, anyway? The way you talk doesn’t sound all that manly either... Scholar Xiao?”
Scholar Xiao: “...”
Yu Qingtang immediately grabbed Scholar Xiao.
“Brother Xiao. Endure. Endure!”
Then he turned back and answered, “Yu Qingtang. Do you remember him?”
dog Xiaosa went silent for a moment.
Then he asked in confusion, “Did I write someone like that?”
“Heh.” Yu Qingtang gave a cold laugh. “Knew you wouldn’t remember. Background extra. Not important.”
“Oh.”
dog Xiaosa’s voice actually gained a trace of sympathy.
“You finally get one chance to transmigrate, and you end up with a character who barely has any screen time...”
Yu Qingtang interrupted him.
“Did you find it yet?”
“Found it, found it!” dog Xiaosa answered quickly. “It should be somewhere around this chapter. Give me a second to read carefully.”
“Do you know how to search by keyword?” Yu Qingtang demanded, frustrated by his incompetence. “Ctrl+F!”
“Hey, I don’t know what keyword to search for off the top of my head...”
dog Xiaosa suddenly brightened.
“Got it! Got it! Right, right. The Realm Stone was so important in my original design because it could create an arena outside this realm and forcibly drag otherworldly evil demons inside to fight!”
“Inside the space created by the Realm Stone, otherworldly evil demons are forced to condense physical bodies. They can’t use possession, and cultivators from this realm can enter without having their cultivation suppressed!”
dog Xiaosa grew smug.
“So? Pretty good design, right? Later I decided a giant group fight ruined the Long Aotian swagger, so in the final version I just had him fight his way out alone with a spear...”
“That’s it!”
Yu Qingtang’s eyes lit up.
“We’ve got a way! Go, go, go!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Don’t leave yet!”
dog Xiaosa immediately panicked.
“You—you have to tell me! That world... is it like what I wrote? Does it actually hold together? What does cultivation feel like?”
Yu Qingtang thought for a moment.
He motioned for the other two to take the information outside first, while he stayed behind to chat a little longer with this fellow countryman.
“It’s pretty similar. Except the world went ahead and tied up all the loose ends you abandoned by itself.”
Yu Qingtang considered it and decided to give him a little praise.
“Other than your obsession with harems, the rest is actually pretty...”
“What’s wrong with harems?!” dog Xiaosa protested. “Don’t start moralizing at me! If I wanted to moralize, I’d go write literary classics!”
“It’s not the real world. What’s wrong with writing some stuff people enjoy? Everybody does it! Guys get harems of girls! Girls get harems of guys! That’s what virtual worlds are for—maximum impact!”
Yu Qingtang: “...”
Good thing he had sent those two ahead.
Otherwise, even he would have been embarrassed.
Then again, it probably would not have mattered.
They likely would not have understood any of this anyway.
dog Xiaosa still sounded incredulous.
“No, seriously. It’s a cultivation world! Even some random background extra passing by should be pretty good-looking, right? And you still didn’t manage to date anyone?”
Yu Qingtang hesitated.
In the end, he answered honestly.
“Actually... I did.”
dog Xiaosa took a pleased breath.
“Who? It’s fine even if they’re a background character. I can run a full-text search and find them.”
Yu Qingtang’s eyes shifted guiltily.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
dog Xiaosa: “Yeah?”
Yu Qingtang looked up guiltily.
“You know your protagonist... Ye Chenyan?”
“Hm? My boy? What about him?”
Yu Qingtang cleared his throat and blurted out at top speed,
“He’s gay.”
He paused.
“I did it.”
Silence came from the other side.
Then dog Xiaosa exploded.
“I KNEW YOU WERE GAY! WHAT ABOUT ALL HIS WIVES?! I’M GONNA FIGHT YOU!”
Yu Qingtang frantically started pressing buttons on the Heaven-Questioning artifact.
“How do you turn this thing off?!”
“WAIT! DON’T YOU RUN!”
dog Xiaosa screamed himself hoarse.
“IS MY SON THE TOP, AT LEAST?! HE’D BETTER AT LEAST BE THE TOP!”
“ANSWER ME, YOU BASTARD!”
“Yes, yes, he is!”
Click.
Yu Qingtang had no idea what part of the Heaven-Questioning artifact he had pressed, but the crackle of static finally cut out.
dog Xiaosa’s voice vanished with it.
Yu Qingtang wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
He muttered, “You can’t blame me for this.”
“Your son was clearly more...”
He shook his head, carried the Heaven-Questioning artifact with him, and climbed out of the pill furnace.