Azela Incarnate

Azela had paced so much that it was a wonder that the paper floor still held together. It had been some time since Catherine and Phoenix left, and with each hour her anxiety grew. The paper house became increasingly too small for her buzzing emotions. She needed some air.

As she stepped up to the front door, she looked over at Tisha. The little girl sat on the floor, using fingerpaint to create a masterpiece any artist would be proud of. Blue smeared across her cheek when she scratched at an itch without thinking.

Azela wondered how long she could leave the sapien girl alone for. Glitchen were able to walk and eat solid food soon after they were hatched, but she vaguely knew that sapien children needed constant care for a long time before they could even do that.

Then Tisha looked up at her and asked, "How fast do you think our house would burn down if it caught fire?"

Azela looked at the paper walls, floor, and ceiling. "A lot faster than your neighbor's houses, I'm guessing."

Tisha returned to her art, adding another splash of color to the growing scene. "Did you know I can do fire magic? Wanna see?" She turned expectantly toward Azela.

"No fire magic while I'm watching you," Azela said quickly. Then she added, "Maybe later, when you're not my responsibility."

Tisha sighed. "Okaaay…" The child slumped dramatically before returning her attention to the painting.

Azela went to the couch and sat, keeping Tisha in view. Her foot tapped against the floor.

Two electric eels were fighting in her gut, shocking each other with emotion. Every attempt to calm herself only seemed to stir them further. She was restless, down to her bones.

Catherine, the love of her life, was now with the love of her life, a woman that Azela had never met. Doing things that Azela couldn't see. Saying things that Azela couldn't hear. Her mind filled in the blanks whenever she thought of what they could be doing, leading to elaborate, if unrealistic, daydreams that slipped unbidden into her thoughts. The result was a mixture of more emotions than she could handle.

She knew her mind was running off in irrational directions, and she was letting it, but she did feel as though there was a glimmer of truth to the fear of Catherine leaving her for someone else. She thought of their future. How long was Catherine going to wait for Azela to get her memories back, while someone with fewer complications was just within arm's reach?

Azela turned her head in the direction of the museum, thinking once again of how easy it would be for her to slip inside. Knowing that Catherine would be against the idea wholeheartedly, and say it was too dangerous.

Her thoughts melted back into daydreams, and in the current one, she saw Catherine and Rachael holding each other's hands, drawing closer, dissolving into a passionate kiss…

Azela got up again and resumed her pacing, though the narrow room offered little space for movement. What did it matter, if they got back together? Why should it bother her, as long as Catherine was happy? Isn't that what she cared about most?

She stopped at the window, which opened on its own as she stood there. There was no glass, but something unseen prevented air from passing through.

The jealousy was silently eating her alive, but at the same time, the fantasies excited her as well. Such a romantic story, two lovers who shared the same trauma, separated and reunited at last. Should she be the evil temptress that comes between them and spoils their happy ending?

No. She couldn't do that to Catherine. She loved her too much.

Azela stepped away from the window and hunkered down next to Tisha. "Little one, I need some air. Please do not burn down the house while I am on the roof."

"Say hi to the birds for me," Tisha said without looking up from her artwork.

Azela stepped outside and took a deep breath. The cooler air felt refreshing after being cooped up inside with her thoughts. She was on the roof quickly, but was fearful of tearing the paper walls as she climbed them. Of all the things she expected the roof to be, she absolutely did not expect it to be made of solid stone.

Yet it was. The surface beneath her feet felt sturdy despite having only paper and thin wood below. She stared in disbelief. The stone was cool beneath her fingertips when she crouched to touch it. Nothing about it made sense.

Her mind screamed at her that standing on it might somehow break whatever impossible spell kept the roof from crushing the rest of the house, so she quickly jumped to the ground. The landing sent a jolt through her legs, but climbing down would have been too slow.

When she stepped back inside, Tisha smiled at her and asked, "Scary, huh?" The child looked entirely too amused by the question.

Azela nodded and looked up. "I liked it better when I didn't know what was above me." She quickly forced her gaze elsewhere.

Tisha said, "The roof was here before they built the house. They told me it's been floating there a long long time. Don't worry."

Azela worried. In fact, she worried considerably more after hearing that it wasn't being held up by anything at all. Her watch resumed as she sat on the couch, but her mind continued to wander.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a raven. It flew through the open window and landed on the couch, looking up at Azela expectantly. In its mouth was a piece of paper.

It remained still and unafraid as Azela took the paper from its mouth, then, with its task complete, the raven flew back outside.

"What's it say?" asked Tisha, who had watched the event.

Azela unfolded the note. "It says that they'll be late getting back but doesn't say why." She sighed. Her gaze wandered to the ceiling, then quickly shot down again. She did not want to think about the giant slab of rock above their heads any more than what Catherine and Rachael were doing together.

* * *

Phoenix and Catherine waited in an old service passage, alone except for a few shuffling dregs that sometimes passed by them. The narrow corridor smelled faintly of damp stone and dust that had settled over decades of neglect. Each distant footstep echoed strangely through the confined space, making the passage feel larger than it truly was. Catherine folded her arms and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as they waited.

The entrance nearby slid open, filling the passage with light briefly as Rachael slid in. The sudden brightness was nearly blinding for the few seconds before it vanished again.

Rachael handed a bundle of clothes to Catherine. "One of my spare uniforms. It'll be too small for you, but you'll stand out less."

"What about me?" asked Phoenix.

"You're old enough to pass as an instructor. The library should be closed, anyway. Just have a lie ready in case any librarians are working late." Rachael leaned briefly against the wall and listened. "Most everyone should be in their rooms at this time."

Catherine nervously began to slip out of her outfit, keeping an eye on the way they came. The confined passage suddenly felt far too exposed for her liking.

"By the gods!" Rachael exclaimed as Catherine removed her top. Her eyes widened and she took an involuntary step closer. "There are so many! What happened to you?" The shock in her voice echoed faintly through the corridor.

Catherine looked down to the pale lines of scar tissue that crossed much of her skin, now exposed. She said, "Some are lessons that the temple tried to teach me, some are attempts to teach myself. Don't worry, I don't do that anymore. It would make Zel sad."

"Zel is the amnesiac girl?" asked Rachael.

Catherine continued to dress herself as they talked. The academy uniform fit tightly across her more muscular shoulders and arms, exactly as Rachael had predicted. "Yes, her full name is Azela. She's one of the glitchen of Jastria. I've been with her for many weeks." She adjusted the cloak that covered the rest of the outfit, then smoothed the fabric flat.

"Is she… special, to you?" Rachael's question lingered in the air between them.

Catherine had picked up on her meaning. "She wants to be." She paused. "I want her to be. That's why we're here, to get our minds in order so that we don't make a mistake."

"You're promised to each other, then?" Rachael tried to keep her tone neutral, though a flicker of emotion crossed her features as her gaze briefly dropped to the floor.

"In a way." Catherine was now fully dressed as a student. They set aside her former clothes in a corner where they could pick them up later. For once, Catherine was glad that she had left her jacket at the paper house.

Rachael led them through the servant's passage to an exit that opened behind a tall bookcase, then pressed a latch disguised as a decorative finial. Cool air drifted through the opening as the hidden mechanism revealed the library beyond.

The smell of old books was wonderful to Catherine. Dust, leather, ink, and aging paper mingled into a scent that she had sorely missed. She breathed it in. For a brief moment, she simply stood there and enjoyed it.

The library was enormous, filling the entirety of the academy's northmost tower. Three balconies rose above the main floor, each surrounded by iron railings. Ladders ran along every wall on brass tracks.

It was also empty, as they had hoped. They didn't even see any staff.

The main floor was arranged around a central table of dark wood. Against the far wall stood a pair of reading desks, angled toward the narrow windows. Rays of setting sunlight filtered through the glass as dust motes drifted lazily through them.

"Big place," Phoenix said.

Rachael was already moving through the shelves with purpose. "Yet it's only a fraction of the library in the village. The older sections haven't been properly cataloged. Some of it predates the academy. There are texts here that were old when Pandoria was young."

Catherine stepped closer to the nearest shelf and ran her eyes over the spines. Most were titled in the modern common script, but she saw a few from distant locations and past ages. Several were written in languages she could not immediately identify. Their worn bindings hinted at countless generations of readers.

"What we're after might be restricted," she said quietly.

Rachael glanced toward a staircase winding upward into the growing darkness. "Yes. They keep the truly dangerous works behind the archivist's door, one floor up. But we'll see what we can find before breaking any magic seals."

They split up, adding anything of interest to a growing pile on the central table. Books accumulated steadily, forming uneven stacks around a lone candle. Time passed into night with no trouble.

Catherine was halfway up a ladder, looking at a section of books, when a voice startled her.

"Please don't leave me."

Catherine turned to see a little girl with black hair and eyes staring up at her. The child stood perfectly still. No footsteps had announced her arrival. The shadows around her seemed oddly deeper than elsewhere in the room.

The little girl said, "I was cold and alone, locked in that room. No one could hear me." Her voice was soft enough that it should have been difficult to hear, yet every word reached Catherine clearly. The dark eyes never blinked.

Catherine climbed down and knelt before the girl to get a closer look. "Now this is fascinating," she said.

Phoenix came around a corner, balancing a stack of books in her arms. "What is?"

"You can't see this little girl in front of me, can you?" Catherine pointed directly at the apparition.

Phoenix set down the books and shook her head. "There's no one there."

"I thought as much," said Catherine.

Rachael had heard them talking from some distance away, and came to see what was happening. "Did you find something interesting?" Her eyes moved between Catherine and Phoenix.

Catherine tilted her head toward the little girl that only she could see. "The sword is making me hallucinate a child about Tisha's age, trying to play on my empathy."

"The sword can do that?" asked Phoenix.

Rachael's eyes drifted toward the staff that concealed the odachi. "Why is it doing that?"

The little girl looked at Catherine. "Please don't lock me away." Her voice trembled slightly this time.

Catherine looked at her and then at the others. "'Tis not alive or intelligent in any way that I can explain. I've never had it try to communicate so coherently before. This is new." She studied the girl closer. "How do I put this? It does not think as a human does. Or even as an animal. Imagine an ant colony that communicates through whispers, that has now reshaped its hill into the image of a child."

Phoenix stepped back. "But what is it saying?"

"It is asking me to not abandon it."

Rachael said, "That makes no sense. The Katherine Odachi does not do that. It turns its victims into mad, living dead puppets, not… whatever the hell it is trying to do with you."

"Please don't leave me," the child said one last time, then vanished.

"It's gone," Catherine said, "I was going to try to ask it questions, but I get the sense that it wouldn't know the answers."

Phoenix looked around them. "Then we better hit the books. It's getting too dark to continue looking through the shelves, unless we want to light up the tower and give ourselves away. If we're not going to be stealing anything, we'd better get reading."