Azela Incarnate

Images.

They came without context.

Blue lightning, forking through a darkness that had no sky. Scales like the shattered shards of a mirror. A tower rising higher than a mountain, as wide at its base as an entire village. And a woman with horns and skin the color of fresh blood, with wide chiropteran wings.

Then a voice that came from within.

We are so close.

It was familiar. The words were spoken like an observation.

Azela looked up. The sky above her oscillated between shades of gray, moving like water. She looked down.

At her feet lay a skeleton.

It had been a woman, once. The bones still held the shape of great wings, now collapsed against the ground. The open jaw retained its fangs, and the claws of the hands still reached for some final object or mercy that would not come.

Then she was somewhere else within the dream, looking up at a child.

The girl sat atop a pile of bones. She was small, with hair the color of winter moonlight and reflective yellow eyes. Her face was wet with blood that was not her own. She was eating something red, something that glistened.

Azela began to cry.

She did not know why. She knew only that she wanted to climb the pile of bones, take the child in her arms, and say that things would be all right.

She woke with sand in her mouth.

Catherine came crashing out of the brush before Azela had fully opened her eyes, dropping to her knees at her side, hands moving quickly across Azela's body as she checked for injuries. "Did he hurt you?" Her voice was stripped of everything except the urgency beneath it.

Azela pushed herself upright, blinking the dream back. "What happened?"

Catherine pulled her close and held her tightly. "Shi-Yon found us," she said. Then she told her everything.

* * *

A few days passed. There was no sign of Shi-Yon, but no sign of any ships, either.

Azela was relaxing on the soft sand of the island’s lone beach as she watched the clouds roll by. She wore the torn scraps of her pirate outfit, but had no shirt under her vest. That was given to Catherine, since she had nothing under her jacket when the ship was destroyed.

The mermaids had smoothed Azela’s messy hair and trimmed her bangs. In fact, they had made it better than it was before. No matter what she did, the hair restored itself exactly as she liked it and remained as beautiful as the night sky. Mermaid hairstyle techniques were remarkable.

Azela looked away from the sky in time to see Catherine emerge from behind a tree, returning from her daily hike. She, too, was a victim of the mermaid's obsession with beauty. Violet streaks adorned the sapien's straight, shoulder-length hair. Due to the constant heat and recreational swimming, she had finally conceded to removing the sleeves from the shirt and cutting her pants into shorts. The exposed skin had begun to tan and glistened with sweat. Unlike Azela's naturally hairless legs, Catherine's were shaved regularly, a vain labor that Azela considered both admirable and pointless.

The glitch sat up. Her anxiety rose in anticipation of what she was about to do, but she had thought about this for too long to back out now.

Catherine sat next to her, extending a handful of flowers. "Hey, Zel. I found these on the other side of the island, figured you might find them interesting."

Azela accepted the gift. She turned one of the flowers over in her fingers. "Cat, something has been bothering you lately. Something you're actively not telling me."

The sapien seemed uneasy. She shifted her position. "It's nothing new. It doesn't matter."

"Please, Cat." Azela set the flowers down between them. "I want us to be able to say anything to each other. Share anything. And it's not like we have anything better to do."

Catherine let out a slow, nervous breath. "Alright, I'll spill everything on my mind, if only to have it all out." She took a long look at Azela, then turned her attention toward the sea. "We know I shouldn't say it. Shouldn't think it. Shouldn't feel it. And it isn't just about how I feel about you. It's all the ways I could hurt you as well. And how you could hurt me."

"I would never hurt you."

"It already hurts. To be so close, yet never close enough. You aren't like me. You could never love me the way that..." She looked straight at Azela. "I'm in love with you, Zel. I shouldn't be, but I am. Maybe since I first saw you, though that doesn't make any sense." She let out a breath. "There, I've said it."

Azela kissed her cheek. It happened so fast that Catherine barely felt it. When she recovered from the initial shock, Azela was standing in front of her, blocking the sun. "Don't ever tell me how I can and can't feel."

Catherine avoided eye contact. "You don’t know what it’s like. But it’s fine. I’ve learned to live with it."

Azela knelt and placed a hand on each of Catherine's cheeks so that she couldn't look away. Gazing deep into her eyes, she said, "Your ears aren't listening, so I'm going to show you." She leaned in closer. "Follow me."

She jumped back suddenly, faster than a sapien possibly could, then skipped up the hill and through the trees. Still bewildered from the kiss and blushing from Azela's closeness, Catherine rose and ran after her. No matter how fast she pursued, though, she only caught glimpses of the elusive glitch as she chased her through the wilderness. Branches swept past her face and the undergrowth caught at her ankles. Azela stayed just ahead, a flash of dark hair vanishing around every corner. The trail twisted and turned chaotically, causing her to lose all sense of direction and leaving her with no idea where the glitch was leading her.

The trees thinned, then broke entirely. Catherine stepped out onto slick stone. A silky mist hung low, clinging to her skin, carrying the mineral scent of heated earth. The steam softened the edges of everything around her. The rock beneath her feet was warm even through her soles, a steady heat that seeped upward with each step. She rounded a jut of stone and stilled.

She had been led to the hot springs.

At the water's edge, dark fabric lay in a careless heap, as if shed moments ago. The glitch's discarded outfit was on the shore.

Cautiously, Catherine looked up from the clothing. Her breath caught as the mist shifted.

Azela was already knee-deep in the water. She stared at Catherine as a cat watches prey, unblinking, intent. For the first time, Catherine saw Azela's entire body uncovered.

With a purposefully alluring voice, Azela asked, "Well, you don't want to get your clothes wet, do you?"

A thousand thoughts ran through Catherine's mind at once. Her heart thudded hard against her ribs. "What... are you...?"

Azela caressed herself in movements that disturbed the water's surface, eyes examining Catherine, lingering, testing. "Just give in, Catherine. You're not bound to those that abused you and cast you out. Not anymore. We're the only ones on this island, and we can do anything we want."

Catherine paused. Her fingers hovered at the hem of her top before finally gripping it. She struggled with her thoughts as she slowly removed it. The air was warm against the newly exposed skin. "Zel, why are you doing this?"

Azela remained silent as the rest of the clothing was removed. Each piece dropped softly to the stone until Catherine stood nervous and bare in front of her, unsure where to place her hands. She shifted her weight, then tried to strike a statuesque pose to break the tension. They laughed.

"Now come to me," Azela said.

Catherine knew this couldn't be real. But it was. The feel of the heat pressing in around her, the warmth of the water lapping softly at the shore, and Azela's attempt at a seductive voice made this moment greater than anything she could imagine. Catherine followed Azela into the natural pool until it was up to their waists. Then, to her own surprise, she hesitated again. "Zel, are you sure this is what you want?"

To answer, Azela stroked the sapien's leg as her fingers trailed upward, and drew herself closer. "I've wanted this since you first saved me. If I can share a dark confession… the way you looked at me, I still think about it some nights."

Catherine's slick skin felt electrified under the touch. Their faces drew close enough to hear each other's wavering breath. The doubt began to slip from Catherine's mind as she yearned to give in. Azela's fingers traced around to her companion's back, pressing gently, guiding her forward, until there was barely space left between them. Then she paused, expectant, each waiting for the other to make the next move.

But neither could tell which gave in first. Their lips pressed together. Tentative. Then firmer. They surrendered to it.

Catherine had been raised in the belief that such love was an unforgivable sin. Yet, standing here, surrounded by heat and mist, with no watchful eyes, Catherine felt as if walls built over several years were crumbling away around her.

They explored each other's bodies, awkward at moments, uncertain at others. To Catherine's unexpected delight, Azela was definitely the most assertive; guiding, insisting, refusing to let hesitation take hold for long.

But then Catherine pushed her away, hands firm against Azela's shoulders, breaking the contact. "Wait. What do you mean, the way I looked at you?"

Azela took a moment to catch her breath. "You wanted me. I saw it. After you cut down those men."

Catherine thought back. Her expression tightened as the memory surfaced in fragments. When it came to her, she suddenly felt sick. "Zel." She hesitated. Her eyes dropped to the water between them. She didn't want to spoil the moment, but decided it was for the best. "We can't do this."

"Why?" Azela reached out to grab Catherine's shoulders. Her grip was tight, almost desperate. "I love you."

Catherine shrugged her hands away and began to back out of the water. "You can't know that. You hardly know anything, or anyone. Azela, I care for you, but so much of your mind is missing that this feels like taking advantage of you. What if you already have a partner somewhere? We need to get your memories back, or at least give it some time before we rush into this."

Azela was silent for a moment, her mouth forming words that didn't come. Then she said, "Taking advantage? You think I haven’t thought of all this, lived with it, every day?" Her voice rose with each sentence, frustration bleeding through the hurt. "I’m not some stranger in your care. I can make my own decisions!"

"You don't even know who you are!" The words were sharper than Catherine intended.

Azela stepped away. "Yes, I do! Don’t treat me like I’m a fucking child!" She punched the water. Droplets scattered across them both. She was about to do it again, but let her hand sink slowly into the water. "I thought you… I thought that this was what you wanted." Her voice was tight and uneven, on the verge of breaking.

Catherine turned. Before she climbed out, she said, "That night in the alley… that wasn't lust that you saw." She swallowed hard, feeling her throat tighten. She forced the words out. "There was blood on your chest, and the sword was thirsty. That wasn't me looking at you through those eyes." She looked at the scar on her palm. "Within the sword is a myriad of consciousnesses. Lost souls, all pleading relentlessly for me to join them. I've felt them creeping into me since I first touched it. Influencing me. Sometimes I don't know what thoughts are my own anymore. When we get to Pandoria, I'm going to find a way to be rid of it once and for all. When we know… when we are certain that both our minds are our own again, then…"

Catherine left quickly.

They would not speak for the next two days, then silently agreed to forget this day had happened.