Volume 3 Chapter 23
Mana let out a long, adorable squeak of a yawn that curled her toes even as she stretched. She leaned further into my back as I walked, resting her chin on my shoulder. I shifted my hold on her thighs to better support her, but her small frame was already light enough that it hardly mattered. Unfortunately, my reward for carrying her was barely there. The gentle or severe softness Yua or Elane might have bestowed upon me was instead replaced with a few sugary mumblings—meaningless to everyone, including the girl speaking them.
Yua kept close behind us for a change, occasionally patting down the girl’s skirt after her mischievously-energetic tail, which did not seem to share any of her fatigue, tried to flip it.
Elane, meanwhile, quietly huffed as she walked beside us. It was written plain on the puff of her cheeks that she wanted to carry Mana, but she no doubt would have princess carried her. Poor Mana, for some reason, didn’t want to be pummeled by the twin mounds that bounced and swayed in their cups with each step - something her the medieval flare of her tank-top couldn’t hope to stop.
It was still early and we still had plenty of time to burn until I was supposed to meet with Giulio. So, we decided to be a little more proactive and return to the Last Drop to take another peek into Elara’s mind.
“Mnn… Big Bro, when we get there, can I have some food?”
“Do you think you’re going to have two breakfasts every morning?”
“Do you love me?”
“I do. Very much. So much, in fact, that I won’t just sit back and watch you gorge yourself.”
“Hmph.”
Mana thumped her chin down on my shoulder in protest, but my dear little bottomless pit’s metabolism can only take so much of a beating before it gives up.
Suppressing a small laugh that was about to improve her mood, Yua stopped and fixed her eyes on something ahead of us. I tried to follow her gaze through the crowd, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Just dozens of people walking and waking their city up for the day.
“Yua, what’s…”
“Shh…”
She put up a hand to stop me and narrowed her eyes. I took another look, and Elane managed to pull her attention off Mana’s pouting face long enough to help, but neither of us saw what we were supposed to be looking at until Yua pointed.
“Look there. It’s one of those clergy people we saw yesterday. I recognize his voice.”
As she said, further down the road, mixed in with the crowd, we spotted a pair of men dressed in church garb talking to another man with a large bag on his back.
“So?” Elane said, shading her eyes with a hand. “There’s a church right down the road. Seeing members of the clergy out and about doesn’t mean anything.”
“I know that. They’re asking that man a bunch of weird questions.”
“Like what?”
“Like where he came from. How long he’s been here. Which God he follows…Where he was when the church caught fire.”
The man gestured with his hands, trying to casually fend off their questions. He shifted his weight onto his other foot and his bag to move with him and reveal that the clergymen both had weapons on their hip. One carried a mace and the other a short sword.
“Inquisitors, then?” I said, taking a peek at their info boxes. “Why does that not surprise me?”
“Think Nerissa sent them to root out her supposed assassins?”
“Probably. She must be changing tactics since she failed to bait them out herself.”
“Then are they a threat?”
“I doubt it. Neither are bandits and neither have a combat class.”
Not only has the church turned its clergy into police officers, but they sent them out untrained, to catch an assassin. I can see that being an order from Nerissa, but I had to wonder how this flock of hers continues to follow this obvious wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Hmm?”
Mana’s ears perked, flicking against my head as she lifted her chin off my shoulder. She listened for a moment, then scrambled down off my back. Still clinging to my sleeve, she turned her big blue eyes on to the clergymen and the man they were questioning and a great big happy smile appeared on her lips.
“Hey, it’s that male from the place with the smelly drinks! Come on, let’s go!”
“Wait!”
But she didn’t. She let go and bolted through the crowd towards them. Bobbing and weaving past the people, ducking under the boxes movers carried in their arms and slipping past a woman who nearly dropped her things, she unintentionally put herself out of reach before my telekinetic hand could make a grab for her tail.
“What the hell is she doing?”
Muttering a few complaints, we ran after her, but she skidded to a stop in front of the clergymen, both of which grabbed for their weapons. Thankfully, they didn’t draw when they noticed my extra-petite wife smiling gleefully up at the man they questioned.
“Hey!” she beamed. “Remember me?”
Mana threw up her arms for a joyous embrace and the man, who I recognized as the bard who’s music she’d been enjoying, Fitz took a step away from her, as if refusing the gesture. I knew it was because she’d surprised him during his grilling, but it dampened her mood all the same.
Keeping her arms in the air, she looked back at me.
“Um, Big Bro, is it not normal for humans to hug females if they have a mate?”
“It’s fine,” I said, glancing at the clergymen, who did not look overly enthused for the disruption. “But I doubt he even knows you have a mate.”
“Nuh-uh. I told him.”
“… Then it’s fine if it’s just a hug.”
“Kay!”
Entirely unable to read the mood, Mana jumped and latched her arms around the man’s middle and crammed her cheek against his chest. Bewildered and, eyeing me for approval, he hesitantly pat her shoulder.
The clergymen, however, were none too happy to be interrupted.
“You lot know this man?” Daillei asked, voice edged with the weariness of someone dealing with yet another nuisance, as his mace rested casually on his hip.
“Ye…”
“Yup!” Mana cheered, detaching herself from him. “He plays music at the place with the smelly drinks.”
“Smelly drinks?”
“She means The Last Drop.”
“Thank you,” Fitz said, slumping his shoulders in relief. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t go to church because I play at the tavern.”
“I wonder about that,” Daillei said, nodding at the younger man next to him, Rictor. “What do you think? Isn’t it odd that a bard would play for coin in the morning, instead of at night?”
“What I think is strange is that he chooses to surround himself with a bunch of drunks instead of going to church.”
“That is strange, isn’t it? Tell us, how do you expect handouts when all your patrons are already busy giving themselves to Tallow?”
In the face of this grilling, Fitz smiled politely, perhaps a little meekly, before placing a hand on his chest. He bowed slightly.
“Respectfully, sirs, I play in the morning because I think that’s when my music sounds its best. While I do accept them when offered, I do not play for handouts, as you say. The owner Miss Elara pays me herself. You can ask her yourself. I am her employee.”
He lifted his chin, his thin, comely face nothing but calm, and added, “And you may like to know that I do play after hours when my time is up, but that is merely for the love of the strings.”
An honest smile spread across Fitz’s lips and I prepared myself to see this man’s poor argument earn him a good thump on the head from the well-read copy of The Book of Valediction Daillei carried. He drew in a slow breath, seemingly taking the bard’s words to heart. Mana, too, nodded proudly.
“We meant you no offense, sir,” Daillei said. “But our priestess Lady Nerissa was attacked not long ago by heathens who wish to do her and our church harm. She has named us her envoys and we only mean to bring her attackers to justice.”
“And so anyone not with your church is suspect?” Fitz nodded. “Understandable, I suppose.”
“For what it’s worth,” I said, plopping a hand on Mana’s head. “He’s telling the truth. We’ve seen him play in the tavern multiple times.”
“Yea, and how do we know you’re telling the truth?” the second, younger clergyman, Rictor, said. “Who are you?”
“He’s that kid from yesterday. Remember, the one who keeps ogling Lady Nerissa’s…”
“Yea, yea, I know. I said I’m sorry, alright?”
“And how about you stop complaining about my husband, since your friend there keeps eye-fucking my tits every time you turn your back?” Elane grunted, pointing a very accusing finger at Rictor. He was quick to look away, as he couldn’t claim that his interest came from her tank-top appearing to be otherworldly, rather than revealing.
“My apologies,” Daillei sighed. “And given that this fool here is soon to be married, I’m sure he’d like to offer his apologies as well, hmm? Or should I ask Tersia to apologize on your behalf?”
“No!” Rictor shouted, fear rounding his eyes. He spun on his heel to Elane. “Please accept my sincerest…”
“Yea, yea. I heard it all before. You’re sorry and you’re forgiven and you’ll do it again the next time a nice pair walks in front of you.”
“I-I wouldn’t…”
“Perhaps, if I might offer consolation,” Fitz chanced. “I may not know much about your God, but I do know he sees adultery as an unforgivable sin. Perhaps you should turn your eyes towards your fiancé.”
“Yea. Eyes off my woman,” I said, throwing an arm around Elane. As I pretended I wasn’t the world’s biggest hypocrite, and as she leaned into me, I thought up a way to end this farce. “Actually, that name sounds familiar. Hey Yua, isn’t Tersia the name of the butcher’s daughter we met a couple days ago?”
“She sure is.”
“Yea. Maybe we should go have a chat with her.”
“No, wait, I’m sorry. Really, I am!”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Daillei said, thumping his Book of Valediction on Rictor’s head before he could start groveling. “For the love of Tallow, stop making a mockery of the church or I’ll have you reading scripture until your eyes fall out. Now go, wait for me at the miller’s.”
“Yes, sir!”
Seizing the opportunity to save his marriage, Rictor took off running down the street. Daillei watched him almost trip over a street corner before shaking his head again. He flipped up the hem of his robe and used it to polish away the new scuff on his Book of Valediction.
“My apologies again, to all of you,” he said, then added to Elane, “And respectfully Miss, Tallow has clearly blessed you, but I ask kindly that you do not use his blessings to tease that inexperienced fool. Especially when your husband is no less guilty.”
“Hey, at least my man ogled an unclaimed woman.”
“Lady Nerissa is not, unclaimed. She is the wife-mother to all who follow Tallow. Priestesses of her extraordinary faith devote themselves entirely to him. They do not have time to take a husband.”
“And their clergymen don’t?” Fitz asked, his tone almost accusing, but Daillei nodded sagely.
“Not all of us, no. From Chapter three of The Book of Valediction’s Book of Life, verse thirty-five: Tallow’s shepherds shall seek to sire as many children of their own as possible, for the only true marker of a life lived well is to pass the gift of life unto another.”
He placed his hand on the book, which remained closed, and a soft smile spread on his wrinkled lips.
“There are some who interpret this as Tallow wishing for as many of us as possible to join him at his table when our time comes. Some feel very strongly that this excludes we of the church, as tending the family means neglecting the flock. Others feel it is meant more literally in that it encourages us to build families after joining the clergy. Still, there are those who, sadly, were never granted or have since lost the ability to sire children for various reasons.”
“Which is Lady Nerissa?” Fitz asked. “If you don’t mind.”
“I’m afraid I cannot say. It is her story to tell, and she refuses to share it. But, I suppose you’d know that if you went to church, aye?”
“Sorry, but my heart belongs to the strings.”
Again, Daillei nodded sagely.
“That is perfectly fine. We do not demand others join us. Most tend to follow Tallow’s will by simply taking their own paths in life anyway. And I can only assume a man like yourself will do just that someday. I hope you’ll excuse our suspicion. We meant no offense.”
“None taken.”
“I see. Then, if you’ll excuse me.”
With a wave, Daillei turned to leave. He may have been off to potentially harass someone else on Nerissa’s behalf, but I was momentarily struck by how easily he gave up on Fitz in the first place. Maybe the bandits are syphoning off this particular inquisition’s funding.
“You have a way with words,” I said.
“Comes with the territory,” Fitz said, playfully elbowing me. “Lucky coincidence you happened to meet that Tersia woman, isn’t it? Who knows what they would’ve done to me if you hadn’t saved my bacon.”
“Haha... Yeah, who knows?”
Though luck had little to do with it, as she was just one of many people whose names I learned during our nightly investigations. I could recite the names of most in the city by now and there is only one Tersia in this city.
“Well, don’t worry about. Happy to help out Mana’s friend.”
The girl in question smiled gleefully up at us and he grinned right back as he plopped his hand on her head, tussling her hair.
“Friend, eh? It’d be an honor to be friends with a lass so charming, but perhaps she’d truly become my biggest fan once she’s heard the lyrics I just cooked up about a brave bard who was just ruthlessly attacked by a pair of gangly, nasty clergymen. How about it, lass? Want to listen? You’ll be the first.”
“Yes! Let’s go now!”
Mana dashed around the man and pushed him towards the Last Drop. He tried to laugh it off, but with her strength as a beast-kin, and with her tail propelling her forward, his feet actually started to glide across the street.
“Hey man, don’t get cocky just because you passed a couple of speech checks back there. A song like that would just provoke them to come for you again.”
“Passed a couple of what?”
“Never mind. Anyway, glad that all worked out, but we should go. Come on, Mana.”
“Wait, wait.” Fitz said, sidestepping Mana’s pushing, leaving her to stagger forward a couple steps all on her own. “You really helped me out. I know it’s early, but how about I buy you a drink?”
“I would love…” Elane started, but I cut her off.
“There’s no need. We really didn’t do much.”
“Nonsense. I’ve already heard a few people have been hauled off to the church for further questioning. They come back just fine a few hours later, but that’s a few hours of playing I could have lost. And that’s not mentioning how Elara would have withheld my wages for the day just for not showing myself. A man needs to eat, you know?”
“Actually, speaking of, can you tell us about her? She’s been sort of odd the last few times we met.”
“Odd? Elara?” he said, crossing his arms. “I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, but there’s little I can say. Except that if she’s going out of her way to flaunt her bosom, she likely wants something from you. She does it all the time – a real schemer, that one. You know, making deals with traders, inviting you to church with her. Hell, she’ll show off nearly the entire mountain range just to tempt you into buying another drink. Believe me, I’ve seen her do it a hundred times over.”
Fitz leaned towards me and tugged at his collar, but unlike the barmaid, he had nothing in his shirt worth looking at.
“Got anything less obvious about her?” Elane asked, but he shook his head.
“Sorry. Despite her flaunting, she’s been my biggest supporter since I came to Villeverdure, but we don’t talk much outside of work. The coin is nice and having her recognize the value in my music – well, that’s a blessing. But I’ve learned to stay out of her way.”
“Is she a mean boss?”
“Oh, no. Not at all. It’s just that, when a drunken farmhand nearly topples out of his seat trying to make a grab for the hills hidden beneath the dear barmaid’s skirt, only to miss and grab yours instead, you tend not to stick too close to her.”
“I know how you feel,” Elane sighed, twisting her hips to look at her own, much more shapely rear.
Just before his gaze could follow, I did us both the favor of stepping between them.
“Thanks for sharing, but we need to get moving. Mana, let’s go.”
Seeing how she’d ignored me twice now, I was about to pull her away when I noticed how strongly she was focused on him.
Fitz was a handsome fellow, if not a little gaudy, but it was clear his looks had nothing to do with how Mana had come to adore him. Her big blue eyes were fixed solely on the bag he carried on his back.
“Please wait,” he said. “I really do owe you. If not a drink, then…”
Suddenly, Mana's ears perked up, her mouth bursting open with a delighted gasp, and her tail stiffened like a board, twitching back and forth with excitement. There couldn’t have been a clearer proof that she’d just gotten the idea to end all ideas, than if a literal light bulb appeared over her head.
“Hey! Um, if you owe Big Bro, can he see your music?”
“O-Of course. I’m about to start playing over in the Last Drop, but I’m running late, so...”
“No, I, uh, I mean, can he see the thing that makes the music? Please.”
She pointed to the bag on his back and he mimicked her, pointing to it himself in confusion. Meanwhile, the rest of us were confused and Yua looked about ready to clamp her hand over the girl’s mouth.
“My lyre?” Fitz said, pulling it off his back. “I suppose I don’t mind, but why?”
Despite his confusion being greater than our own, he unclasped the bag’s belt and gently reached inside and, fingers almost trembling with reverence, he withdrew his prized lyre. The instrument’s smooth, wood frame gleamed with a rich, deep hue under the morning sun. Silver inlays traced delicate patterns across its face, each one more polished than the man himself.
He cradled the thing in his arms like it were a small child and Mana’s eyes positively lit up upon seeing it.
“Yes! Oh, oh! Big Bro, um, he said he really wanted to see it last night after I told him about how good your music is.”
As the girl’s smile sparkled, Yua looked to me, ears flicking, as the question of What in the world is this girl talking about wrote itself plain on her face. It was no wonder why, the only time Mana an I had alone last night was when we were in the fort and that wasn’t exactly the best time to discuss music.
Naturally, the girl was lying through her teeth and, while Elane was too enamored in gushing over the girl’s cute expressions to care, we had no choice but to play along without knowing the point of her games. That is, until Fitz extended the instrument to me and Mana waited with baited breath to see what I’d do. Her tail was kicking up such a storm behind her that Yua had to stand behind her to keep the perverted wind at bay.
I looked to the instrument, then again to her and soon enough, that same lightbulb appeared over my head.
So, that’s what this is all about? You little… Well, fine. I suppose I do owe her for making last night go so smoothly. Might as well play along.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to try one of these.”
Matching the care he showed, I accepted the instrument in hand and gently cradled it as best I could, though its slender arms felt almost brittle in my palm. And as expected, as soon as Fitz was pleased with my hold and let go…
[New Class Obtained: Bard]
I blinked as a surge of the basics of music flooded my mind. The transfer took only an instant and in the next, I pulled the shoulder strap around my neck and placed my fingers on the strings.
The Bard class varied wildly from the more combat oriented classes. Whereas the Swordsman class granted me the innate knowledge of how to properly swing a sword, all I got from this were the fundamentals of stringed instruments, music, poetry and how all these could invigorate the soul – it did not teach me how to play a lyre specifically. But with Mana impatiently waiting with her fists clenched and shaking, what choice did I have but to try?
After testing each string to see how they sounded, I strummed a simple melody about a girl and her vertically challenged lamb for my very own vertically challenged wife. It sounded awful at first, but memorization kicked in early to minimize repeated mistakes.
While the dusty guitar I kept in a closet back on Earth may convince otherwise, I’ve never actually played an instrument before. So, it was reassuring to see Mana’s eyes glistening up at me, instead of trying to tear her ears off whenever I messed up, even if Yua flinched with each misplaced twang of the strings.
On the contrary, as soon as the song ended, Mana launched herself at me and wrapped her arms around my back – I barely had time to move the lyre before her forehead smashed into it.
Fitz stood there, watching us and nodding to himself. Though he was quick to take the lyre back. He carefully set it back in its bag and hefted it over his shoulder, lest my inexperienced hands touch it again.
“Not bad for a beginner. It was a pleasant melody.”
“Really? You’re probably the only one that thinks so,” I said, smirking at Yua, who whipped her hands behind her back, but I’d already seen her trying to soothe her troubled ears.
Fitz laughed.
“Yes, yes. You were far too rough with the strings. You have to strum them, not scratch them. Remember, they are delicate, like a woman. You need to be gentle. And my poor lyre looked awkward in your hands. You need to get used to holding one before you try to play for anyone.”
“I suppose I do,” I said, plopping a hand on Mana’s head. She grinned happily at me.
Who would have thought she of all people would abuse my abilities for her own personal gain? Guess I’ll have to find me a lyre in the market soon.
“Wait, I see what this is about,” Fitz said, thumbing his chin. “You’d like some lessons on how to play, am I right?”
“Well, that’s…”
“Yes!” Mana blurted.
“I see,” he hummed, considering the offer he himself made.
I hesitated. Then, I gently pulled Mana aside and lowered my voice. “We’re not going to the tavern for food or to fool around.”
Her eyes twinkled with upturned innocence. She pouted just a little, then fluttered her lashes. It was a devastating blow, but I held firm.
“But… please, Big Bro? Just watch him play? You can learn from that, right? Just one song. Please?”
I paused, considering. Coming to watch the man play would make a good excuse for being there. Especially since Mana made it known that she enjoys his art. We could turn a favor for her into a reason to keep an eye on Elara without raising suspicion. And as Mana squeezed my fingers, I did have to admit learning from a pro was certainly better than brute forcing my way through any mistakes until I got it right – was that not part of why I train with Giulio?
Finally, I sighed and nodded. “Alright. One song. But that’s it. No fooling around.”
Mana squealed softly, pressing a hand to her chest. “Thank you!”
Squirming and squiggling excitedly in my arms, she latched onto me again. And for a moment, I had to worry she actually might never let go.
“Alas,” Fitz said, feigning and overplaying a great depression. “It would seem my biggest fan has already abandoned me.”
“Hoho? Well Kitty here is this one’s wife, too,” Elane said, trying and failing to pull Mana off of me. “Unless you want to come live in our basement, it might be best to let Alex bring the music back home.”
“Yes. Yes. A dim, dark basement is no place for light to shine. I could never reach my muse where the light cannot be.”
“Haha, right...”
Fitz too one more look at Mana snuggled into my chest, smiled and shrugged.
“I believe it’s time to end the discussion here. If you all want to have a listen, and if I want to eat tonight, I need to get to the tavern.”
With that settled, he started toward the tavern and only then did Mana unlatch herself from me to chase him. Yua followed quietly, but Elane looked at her hands and sighed before trudging along after us.
“If you want to learn, too,” I said. “I can try to teach you once I figure it out.”
Ahead of us as we walked, Mana skipped along, nearly dragging Fitz behind her. Yua tried her best to keep pace and calm her, though mainly because each jump threatened an accidental peak up her skirt. Elane watched this and shook her head.
“Thanks, but that’s not it. Drawing maps is all the art I need.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just… Ugh… You know, I honestly thought these bras would stop men from gawking at my tits. Since it stops them from bouncing so much whenever I… well, do anything, I guess.”
“... Elane, if you had any idea how devastatingly wrong you were, you might give up on bras all together.”
“I very much doubt that. Just shut up and walk.”