Session 67 – Three
Alexis
Hmm. I uh... w-where was I? I cast my gaze around, to discover stars in every direction. Great hulking constellations shifted as living beasts, eclipsing each other, or drifting in and out of one another. Shooting stars and comets rocketed by, eternally careening headlong into the endless star-scape. A grand shadow passed across me, plunging everything into darkness, as all the shining beacons in the vast distance were blocked from my view.
I had fallen into the Astral Ocean. Somehow. The last thing I could remember, was getting falafel with Hannah. We returned to the room and woke up our girlfriend. And then...
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
How did I forget about the demon portal time bomb? I would fucking forget my own head, if it wasn't attached; I swear. Okay. Okay, alright then. How could I get out and back to my girlfriends. And the rest of the party. Of course. Astral Teleportation?
I concentrated really hard, until my stomach twisted in knots and I was worried about physical complications. Duh! Of course that wouldn't work. I was already projecting here. My body would be back on Illith Aranor.
Okay, so that didn't work. And I almost gave myself a hernia. Next plan! Swim towards the closest star. That should only take... uh, let's see, carry the one, divide by five, e=mc2. Roughly twelve eternities, if my math was correct. Which of course, it wasn't, but you already knew that. I suck at math.
So, why was I here? Well, that seemed straight forward. So that I could do... anything, and not be comatose in my body. What could I do?
The shadow moved again and... I realized what it was.
I froze in horrified terror and held my breath, as the astral dreadnought slowly drifted nearby. Its massive eye lazily shifting around, searching for prey to satisfy its eternal hunger.
Wait. I'm an idiot. Lily has never been wrong about that. My Precepts don't care if I have my body. I just had to THINK. I shot off into the stars, screaming as I went. The shadow drifted slowly after me, drawn by the sparkle of my Divinity. Whelp, hopefully she couldn't keep up, or at least didn't realize what a tasty snack I'd be. Heh heh. Focus idiot! Get back to your girlfriends.
My mind drifted as I sailed through the stars. You know, I'm kinda surprised at the lack of dragons encountered so far in my world. I held my breath and looked around. Nothing. Damn, that would have been cool. Get on that DM. No wait, get on that, DM. Whole different connotation without the comma.
Oh hey, a ship! I slowed down and let momentum carry me along side it. Several green skinned humanoid figures wandered around on deck, talking or performing various tasks, that I presumed, were necessary for the piloting... sailing? of a star ship.
I missed my girlfriends. My mom had a keychain that said 'I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.' It was really lonely out in this endless darkness. How long had I been here?
My hand caught the railing, and I drifted over the deck. And then squealed as I fell face first with a loud thunk. Oh, so they had a gravity spell on the ship. That seems very obvious, in hindsight, after seeing them walking around.
As I rolled over with a grunt, several spears hovered above my face. "Elder devil. I do not know how you got here, but your invasion will fail. Here, you will meet only death."
Elder? Shit. That hurt more than dying. Well, maybe not the first time. That time really sucked.
"Hey y'all. How's it hanging." Oh wow, there was a lot of twang in that. My inner southern girl was showing. Oh hey, now that I thought about it, Arcadia was in the south too. Every planet has a south, after all.
They looked at each other in confusion, and then up at their spectral sails, as if trying to determine which part might be hanging loose. The leader grabbed a handful of my- OH SHIT, I was naked. I forgot about that detail. Fortunately, I had been clothed in Ninira, because.
He grabbed my hair and dragged me down the stairs to below the deck. And I would like to state, for the official record, that GETTING DRAGGED ACROSS UNPOLISHED WOOD FUCKING SUCKS. I was unceremoniously locked into a dirty cell. The man smiled down at me through the bars.
"Devil will make a nice snack." He walked away, laughing.
Well. Shit.
But, not like I haven't escaped jail before. Multiple times. Fucking New Jersey. Fortunately for me, I had a magic tail. I gave the lock a poke. Hmm, how did I do this before. Well, I was staring at a naked Lily and thinking about rescuing her. So, I imagined getting back to Lily and Hannah. The door swung open. Ha! Love conquers all.
I snuck out on my tip toes and looked around the hold. Crates stacked on top of each other, nearly to the ceiling, lined the room from wall to wall. I cracked open a crate and peeked inside. It was filled with fist sized black stones, each one inscribed with arcane text. Another crate was more of the same, and another, and another. There were thousands of these stones on this ship.
The stone stared up at me, and I stared back as I held it in my hand. I knew what I was looking at, but I didn't want to believe it. These were Breachstones. Powerful magic trinkets for opening portals to other planes.
I sucked in a breath; the demon attack. These stones would allow them to pour in, all across Illith Aranor, and the permanent portal created by my body would stabilize their incursion, so they wouldn't get bounced back to the Demonic Abyss.
Demons were planning the biggest invasion anyone has ever tried.
And they pulled me into this world, so that even the gods Above couldn't stop them.
Well, fucking shit.
Time to start a fire and leg it out the window. Dr. Maxwell would be proud.