34 – Infinite Money Alley: Open Daily, Only for the Smartest
What are the odds?
He was a giant of a man who had to duck just to fit through the front entrance. He was crying so hard that he kept bumping into things; his vision was certainly a complete blur.
“Careful, you're knocking over—”
Slap!
He slapped the receptionist, knocking her out cold, and walked straight past the kids, completely ignoring them. He headed for the back door, threw it open, and shouted, “SAVE MY MOTHER! I-I PAY GOLD, GOLD!”
He went to the other bed, laid the old woman down, and spun around to face the cleric. “FORGET THAT WOMAN! COME HEAL HER, I'LL PAY MORE, I'LL PAY MORE! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! HER HEART JUST STOPPED A MOMENT AGO!” He collapsed into the chair beside the bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
The cleric had just finished healing Sharon's abdomen and back. She turned to Crow and said, “Alright, she's no longer in critical condition. I'm going to help the woman next to us. I don't have much mana left, but another cleric will be here soon to finish healing her eyes.”
The man watched the cleric approach his mother. As she began initiating emergency healing, he wiped his eyes with his coat and glared at Crow. “Y-YOU!? I-I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!” He shot up from his chair and charged Crow.
Crow rested his hand on his Zweihänder sword, since his Claymore had been left behind, broken, before escaping grandma’s collapsing base.
“Stop it! If there's any fighting here, I won't heal anyone!” As the cleric yelled, the light on her hands stopped glowing with healing magic.
The man simply took a few steps back and sat down on the same chair again against the wall near his mother's bed. “F-fine... I won't kill him... yet. I'll gut you outside later... Just heal her, Priestess, or I'll kill you right here and now.”
Stoneface... man, just my luck as always. I can't beat him yet, and even if I could, a fight here or in front of this place would cause massive trouble if the guards come after us... Not to mention that even though Sharon is relatively healed and out of danger, she still needs her eyes treated and is out cold. My best bet is to get out of here before things go completely downhill. I can't risk the girl's life or Sharon's, not to mention the other kids out there.
Crow approached Sharon and picked her up in his arms again. Grabbing her cloak with his other arm, he covered her somewhat hastily and headed for the door.
“I'm gonna hunt you down... I'm gonna find you. You're dead meat. I memorized your face and your woman's. I'm gonna get you. When I get out of here, I'm gonna kill you and feed you to the dogs, and I'm gonna—”
The light from the cleric's hands faded once more. She pointed her finger right at Stoneface's face and declared, “Stop talking! I can't concentrate! Just so you know, my husband is on his way, and he's an elite warrior in the Hero's party. So you'd better stop acting like an alpha male trying to intimidate everyone. What are you, a thug? My husband fought an earth dragon and came back in one piece. If you don’t stop, he's gonna beat you down!”
“R-right... please, heal my mother... I'll stay... quiet here.”
Crow was still standing by the door. “Thank you for healing her. Well, before things escalate, I'm getting out of here. I plan on having her treated somewhere else.” Then he left, with the children following close behind him.
After walking a bit further ahead, Crow asked Dorothy, “What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?”
“I-I thought I was going to die. When he came closer and I saw the old hag, I thought it was the end of me. I've heard about him before, but I'd never seen him in person... You did the right thing by getting out of there. That guy is a monster. Whenever something happened, I remember hearing the old hag say she'd send him, and things always got taken care of...”
He looked ahead, still holding Sharon in his arms. He adjusted her position slightly, shifting her weight to his left side and resting her face against his neck so he could carry her like a baby. He needed his right arm free to draw his sword in case a fight broke out. A few seconds after shifting her, he felt a sting.
“Sharon, are you awake now? Well, that's good. Let's get out of here. Can you move?”
“Hmm, hmmm!”
What are you? A cat?
“Hmmmmmm!”
He ignored the purring against his neck, since there wasn't much he could do about it. Luckily, the cloak was covering her head, so no one on the street noticed she was a vampire.
“M-mister?”
“What?”
“I am hungry…”
“Ah, right… let’s go grab something.”
“Hmmmm… hmmmm!”
Seems like everyone is hungry…
He kept following the main street, with a few people giving him strange looks, well, it was a peculiar situation after all, a strong man carrying a woman in his arms, with 4 more children following him dressed in rags. It almost looked like they were slaves bought from some shady place.
Honestly, heading to a temple to heal her is out of the question. Given our current situation, the Inquisitors would grab us the second they figure out even a fraction of who we are, especially since we don't have any ID on us. Besides, Sharon's life isn't in danger anymore, but she still can't see properly. I have no idea when her passive regen will fix that, considering she was poisoned. It's just one disaster after another. I think our best bet is to just get out of here and avoid any more fights. I'm going to track down that merchant from earlier, he had a wagon and helped us get in, so he'll definitely help us get out. Getting blacklisted in this city would be terrible, especially since we still have stuff to do and loot to gather here later.
They walked for a bit, getting close to the city’s main area, where they found a small fruit market. Crow took the opportunity to say, “Alright, pick whatever you like to eat. I don't have much money on me, but I can manage a few fruits.” He then handed them a few coins.
A boy, slightly older than the other children, stood frozen in front of a stall filled with apples.
“You gonna buy something or just stare?” the vendor asked, sizing up the boy's rags. “Ah, don't tell me you're a beggar? Scram, scram! Broke folks are bad for business.”
The boy didn't say a word; he simply placed down one of the bronze coins Crow had given him.
“Hmm, seems you do have money. Well, here are a few apples... and if I were you, I’d buy more. Prices are going up in a few days, because of all the trouble… nevermind, not that a kid would understand anyway. Regardless, move along now. Nothing against you, but those clothes are scaring off the customers...”
The boy took the bag of apples and rejoined the other children, who had all bought something to eat. Meanwhile, Crow asked a few passersby for directions, then headed straight down the street once the kids were done eating and following behind him.
“Hmmm... hmmmm!”
“Sharon... are you trying to kill me?”
“Sorry.”
Maybe I should... no, that’s crazy, though this isn't a game anymore, so it’s definitely possible, but how would I convince a group of strangers, though over there, as long as they get paid, it’s possible, since they're mercenaries... but I’d be forced to reveal the escort’s final destination, and that could go really wrong, but I don't know when I’ll get another chance to come back here, if I recruit one of the high-level mercenaries, that would be amazing, I know there are several strong established teams, who they could be hired by the hero to help with the invasion, then they’d be the sub-party, if I show the document Sharon brought from the queen, they’ll know there’s a lot of gold involved, maybe if I—
“Crow, you’re lost in thought. What do we do now? Honestly, I’d even walk on my own, but I don’t want to look like a lost child. I’ll probably need a few hours to heal... my regeneration is slow...”
“I’m thinking about what to do, time is short, I don’t know if the hero actually invaded, honestly he isn’t stupid, so probably not, and the cleric said her husband was an elite warrior in the hero’s party and was already on his way back, which leaves me with even more doubts, honestly.”
Sharon stayed silent for a moment, and then replied, “I don’t remember that, so I know it was while I was unconscious, and to think that whenever I’m with you, I just... well, strange things happen to me.”
“Hey, hey, how is that my fault? The first time I went out with you, we went on a ‘picnic’ near 1 of the borders waiting for the guest of honor, who was none other than the Hero, and he showed up a little angry and so did his friends, the second time we—”
“Okay, okay, I was just kidding... you’re too serious, Crow, it almost seems like you’re the 1 who got chopped, not me...”
“Yeah, you’re right, I think I’ve seen too many bodies today, diced all over... and to think that if I hadn’t helped, they’d still be alive.”
“Crow, about us going out… to a picnic, I don’t remember that—”
“M-mister? About earlier...”
“Dorothy, you don’t need to say it was their choice, because that doesn’t change the fact that—”
“U-um, it’s about that man from before, he’s coming from behind us—”
“Just my luck.”
Right when I was almost at the mercenaries' guild, and close to where the merchant told me his shop was... I can't start a fight here, but by the looks of it, I won't have a choice. Just to be sure, I'll check who it is before putting my hand on the hilt of my sword, which would cause trouble since there are guards nearby, just in case it's someone else.
He pretended not to notice and looked back.
“Dorothy, I didn’t know you liked playing pranks... it’s just some angry bald guy walking up to us, but I don’t even know him...”
“M-mister, he is the—”
“YOU CHEATERS! THIS COIN IS FAKE! GUARDS! THIEVES! SCAMMERS! RIGHT HERE, THESE GUYS!” shouted the man while pointing at Crow and his small group.
Ah man, are you serious? Were the coins I looted fake?
“YOU! YOU’RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE A QUICK COIN? TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE? THERE’S NO TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS AROUND HERE, YOU—”
Crow rested his hand on the hilt of his sword and said, “I didn’t scam anyone. I’m positive these coins are legit. Now, if you want to keep accusing me, things are gonna get ugly, because I’m already not in a good mood. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re being honest, not just trying to rip me off because I’m a foreigner.”
“What? Rip you off because you're a foreigner? Are you crazy? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SCAMMED ME! GUARDS!”
A group of guards further away noticed the commotion. They stood up from the tables where they were eating a kind of doughnut and started heading toward the scene.
Man, what a mess. Why do I always get dragged into these disasters? This guy has gotta be scamming me, trying to intimidate me just because I’m a foreigner. And considering the situation I’m in with my party, he’s probably assuming I won’t go verify the coins with the guards. And honestly, if I do that, things are gonna go south real fast... what a master scammer, man. Guess I have no choice.
“I’m busy. See these coins? They’re real. I gotta go, and if you keep bothering me, I’m gonna put you to sleep by force.” Crow turned around and went on his way into a dark alley, dropping the bronze coins onto the ground.
The man bent down and started picking up the coins 1 by 1 off the ground, without saying a word.
Looks like the coins really were genuine after all... otherwise he wouldn't bother picking up the rest of them... what a total con artist.
“M-mister… that place over there isn’t safe, are you sure?”
“Yeah, the most we’ll run into here are weak bandits. It’s not like we’re gonna bump into a Stoneface, Hero of the Kingdom, or a professional assassin.” As soon as he finished speaking, he stopped walking and put Sharon on the ground.
“Crow... don't tell me you're tired? I'm not even that heavy...”
“Dorothy, you guide her, walking hand in hand, because from here on out, if anything happens I need to fight, these alleys are full of thugs.”
A voice came from the alley. “Look bro, I’m tellin’ ya, infinite money. Every single day some guy with zero brain cells walks right into our alley.”
“M-mister?”
“Just do what I told you...”
The smaller thug approached, smashing the bottle he held against the wall so only half of it remained, sharp as a blade, and said, “Your money or your life.
Crow walked straight toward the guy, and halfway there, he grabbed the lid off a trash can and flung it right into the thug's forehead, dropping him instantly.
“What?” The thug’s buddy went wide-eyed, and taking a closer look at Crow, he continued, “Ah, I’m sorry, now that I’m looking closer, you’re that guy from the tavern... haha, yeah, um, go right ahead, haha, we were just—”
Slap!
“W-why? I let you pass—”
Smack!
Crow landed a shot right on the guy's chin, sending him to the ground completely dazed, though still barely conscious. “I don’t like thugs, man. So what? A thug deserves a slap in the face.”
The man started drooling, probably passed out, who knows. Crow just ignored it and took a few steps forward.
I hope those guards from earlier don't follow me through here, I better get moving. Based on the info I got, it should be a few blocks ahead, but since I'm taking a right in this alley, I should take a left up ahead, that way I dodge the guards and reach the mercenary guild, which is close to that merchant's shop.
Crow suddenly stopped in his tracks.
“M-mister? What is it?”
“I just remembered we're gonna need more money.”
Crow walked back and looted the pair of thugs. “Jackpot.” He tried putting the pouch of coins inside his pocket, but it wouldn't fit, since he already had the ones from the other thugs earlier.
What do I do? Well, the kids are wearing terrible clothes, so I think I'll snag these guys' coats for the kids, that way we can use the pockets, yeah, looting thugs isn't wrong, or is it? Well, what's done is done; at least I didn’t kill them.
He grabbed the coats and put them on the 2 girls who had the worst rags, then he looked at the 2 boys and said to them, “When we get out of here, you'll get better clothes, alright? We're almost there, I'll get us our safe ticket out of here soon.”
They didn't even say anything. Crow kept moving forward, and the small group followed him. Walking a bit further, they reached a strange area. There was no way to keep going straight, only to the sides, but it didn't look natural. It was a weird kind of roadblock, and there was something written on it that he couldn't read.
“Dorothy, do you know how to read?”
“Only the basics. If it's that sign over there, it says it's blocked off due to an infestation in the underground canal, only Inquisitors will be granted entry.”
Got it, that explains how the underground quest started. In the game, the hero's party just got a message, and during their investigation, they'd reach Stoneface and Grandma's base... ah, so that's why the city is crawling with bandits. I'm way too early here. Only after they destroy the base and realize that the criminal groups operating in the alleys live in the underground and the most isolated parts of the city does the city actually get better. Ah, whatever, either way this path here is the fastest. I hope breaking through doesn't cause any trouble. An infestation, huh? I hope it's not an infestation of something bizarre.
He went to open the metal gate, which opened by dragging to the side. “Why make a gate this heavy? It doesn't even make sense for someone to manage to put this in an alley full of thugs.”
“M-mister? I-I think we should turn around… why are there bodies in there?”
I hate this place. I knew it was only a matter of time before I saw this. So the Inquisitors aren't coming here because of the trouble caused by the criminals, that's just to keep the public from panicking, because the real infestation is goblins. Gnawed-off arms, and most of the hits on these bodies are on the legs and stomach. You don't need to be a genius to figure out the enemy is dwarf-sized, coming from the sewer, this scum's favorite spot. Well, I was looking for some XP anyway, though I can see a green guy over in the corner eating a foot. Man, for real, this could traumatize the kids.
“Kids, wait here for a moment.”
4 goblins appeared at the far end of the corridor, peering around the corner toward the open gate. “Kekekekeke.”