A Dungeon’s Survival

Pee

Aah! I let out a hiss of pleasure as we basked in the intense heat of the second room.

“Pee, how much mana do you have left?” Vie's voice came from beside me a moment later.

Two hundred sixty-six, I answered.

“That isn't much.”

You told me to spare no expense on dodging, though! I whined.

“Yes, and you did wonderfully. The fault is mine for expecting more from the human's magic.”

No, it was terrifying! The giant is just stronger than we could've expected.

The way Vie had baiting the mage into unleashing such a powerful attack against his own ally was awe-inspiring. Truly, she was amazing. Our opponents were just out of our league. I could still scarcely believe that man had managed to pick himself back up after that.

So, what now? I asked.

We'd dragged ourselves to the second room to warm back up, but against such dangerous foes, I couldn't even begin to imagine what we could do. That was why I was glad to have my sister, though. Even if the odds seemed impossible, I had complete faith that she'd figure something out.

“We leverage every advantage we have,” she answered without hesitation, “We're faster than they are. We'll continue with hit and run tactics.

“Even if it didn't kill him outright, that mage's magic still harmed the giant, and I doubt he can heal like that forever. We'll keep catching him in the crossfire, and once the mage has served his purpose, we'll strike him down ourselves.”

But how will we deal with the cold? I asked.

“About that, I have an idea.”

* * *

Cudgel

“As I said, you're fine. No harm done,” the weasel waved me off.

I took a deep breath in lieu of an immediate response. If I didn't get my emotions in check, I didn't trust myself not to rip the man a new one. In my culture, I'd have had every right to string him up by his entrails for what he'd pulled, but this wasn't Courden, and the people of this land placed little value in the honor mine lived by.

“At least tell me you got it,” I eventually gritted out.

“Ha!” he had the audacity to laugh in my face, “As if it could've survived that!”

I paused briefly to calm myself before flatly saying, “As long as you got the notification.”

“Notification?” he sneered.

With how hard that response made me clench my teeth, I was at risk of needing to use even more of my valuable and limited store of additional health to repair them.

Deep breaths, Cudgel, I told myself before saying aloud, “You did get the kill notification, right?”

“Of course not,” he responded as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “If I enabled notifications for every pest I exterminated, I'd never get through the backlog.”

I clenched my fist at that. I desperately wanted to punch a hole straight through those unnaturally white teeth of his. Before I could, however, I turned away.

“Where are you going?” his voice carried to me as I put distance between us.

“Deeper,” I answered shortly.

In truth, I was pissed. The fact that he'd hit me with artillery magic was bad enough, and his nonchalant dismissal of any wrongdoing on his part was infuriating. It was neither of those things that truly got under my skin, though. Instead, it was the simple fact that I'd finally found a worthy opponent, and the man had completely deprived me of my opportunity to face it. For that, I was fuming.

* * *

“I said slow down,” the words carried over the roar of the flames, the constant screeching that had filled the second room previously no longer anywhere to be found now that its presence would've actually been appreciated.

I'd worked with some seriously distasteful individuals before, a natural consequence of being raised in mercenary culture. I'd never quite hated a man like I did Ivan, though. Sure, there were people I disliked or even resented, the man who trained me as a child being a prime example of that and the warrior who felled my father being another, but no one had ever managed to get under my skin quite like him.

With my people, it didn't matter how big a piece of scum someone was, after all; their pride always kept them from taking things too far, and if it didn't, the harsh punishments my culture enforced ensured they'd never overstep again. It was the exact opposite for this man, however. In his eyes, his pride put him above things like honor, and his position as a member of the nobility, in large part, put him above the law. That was why I couldn't help the slight creeping smile that wormed its way onto my face when he let out an undignified, high-pitched screech from behind me.

“What?” I asked as I turned around.

I was fully expecting to be met with the sight of some pitiful display. Perhaps his clothes had caught fire, or it might've been that my companions had missed some vermin on their way through this room. Whatever it was, though, I hadn't been expecting much. What I saw, however, didn't disappoint.

“Ha!” I loosed a deep, throaty laugh.

“Stop, ugh, standing there you big oaf. Help me!”

“What even happened?”

The noble was splayed out across the ground in an undignified position. Running down his neck was a stream of blood, and clinging to his clothes was a small patch of fire. He was clambering around with both hands as though he were frantically searching for something. It wasn't until I realized what that something was that I tensed up and began to take the situation seriously.

Immediately, I began scanning my surroundings. His staff was missing. That meant one of two things. Either he clumsily dropped it over the edge, something I wouldn't put past the incompetent mess of a man, or worse, something had forcibly disarmed him, and given his apparent injury, I was more inclined to suspect the latter.

My grin grew as that realization set in. Perhaps I would get my fight with a worthy opponent today after all.

* * *

Vie

“Should we really have taken this?” Pee asked with her mouth full, “Don't we still need him to kill the giant?”

It was the staff in her mouth that she was talking about. I'd asked her to snatch it while I was busy injecting the human with a dose of venom. The moment the giant put enough distance between them, we'd struck.

He'd noticed us and launched a counterattack at the last moment, of course, but he'd already proven how bad his aim was. All it took was a single Shadow Surge from my sister for us to avoid the attack, and I'd been sinking my teeth into the man's neck a moment later. With how he crumpled from our impact, his strength stat must've been truly pitiful. It was only a shame all the light from the fire around us had been enough to force Pee to enhance her movement spell with Flaming Shadows in order to use; otherwise, our ambush would've been perfect.

“Also,” Pee struggled to add through her mouthful of magical weapon, “why'd you bite him? What if he dies before killing the giant?”

Don't worry about that, I eased her concerns, We were just provoking him. Now, it's time to get serious.

* * *

Cudgel

“It was the snake!” Ivan shouted as I hefted him back to his feet by his collar.

“The same one you supposedly killed already?” I asked pointedly.

“Don't mock me!”

“Mm, fair. You make that too easy. It would be beneath me.”

“You …”

“Where's your fancy staff anyway?”

I didn't get a verbal answer to that question, but his silent tremors of rage told me everything I needed to know.

“How about you turn back,” I suggested, “Unless you have a cure for that bite on you, it might be smart for you to go ask that baron for help. It looks bad, and who knows? Maybe if you get on your knees, beg, and denounce that other alchemist you revere so much, he might even take pity on you.

“Also, it's not like you're anything other than a liability here. The only thing you seem capable of hitting is your own allies if that snake is anything to go off of.”

“You …”

“Am I wrong?”

He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, his eyes widened and a look of unadulterated, mad rage covered his features. He scrambled forward and thrust his hand out as magic began to take shape.

Was that too much for his fragile ego? I wondered as I sidestepped his attack only to follow its trajectory with my eyes.

There was actually something there: a flaming serpentine figure with two heads and a staff in one of its mouths darting from the path ahead of us into the sea of fire. Shockingly, it seemed I hadn't been his target after all. I'd just been standing between him and what he'd been aiming at, if what he'd been doing could even be called aiming.

“Get it together!” I spat in the noble's face as I turned back to him, “You're supposed to be from some military family, right? Are you really going to keep disgracing them by firing off spells haphazardly? I know you can't have too much mana left at this point. At least take your time and make it count!”

* * *

Vie

This wasn't good. If that giant managed to bring the mage back to his senses, we'd lose just about any chance we had at claiming victory. We needed another way to provoke him, fast.

“It's getting hot, isn't it?” my sister noted.

She wasn't wrong. We hadn't had much spare Flame Gel leftover from coating the foliage of this room. Rolling around in it was the best counter I could think of to both the unbearable cold of our enemy's magic and the inferno that surrounded us, but it wouldn't last long. Our enemy's life was also on a timer unless he could purify himself of our venom, so we needed to act fast.

Pee, I asked my sister, this is very important. Can you think of any way to aggravate that mage further?

“Um, maybe?” she started in a less than confident tone before excitedly changer her answer to, “Ooh, yes, actually! I know exactly what would do it!”

* * *

Cudgel

“Get out of my face,” Ivan growled, but despite his hostile words, I smiled anyway.

He was insufferable. There was no doubt about that, but from that arrogant sneer on his face and his marginally straightened posture, I knew I'd gotten through to him. I would never like the man. I was certain of that, but it was possible he could make a halfway competent warrior yet. He only needed to a bit a experience and realism, or at least, that was what I momentarily thought to myself until his eyes narrowed, his jaw fell open, and he relapsed into his conniption.

With a deep sigh, I turned my head and followed his gaze to see just what had undone all my hard work. Truthfully, the sight was ironic. The mage had just destroyed all of my equipment with no sign of concern or remorse, but now that he was on the other end of that, he'd been reduced to a sputtering mess.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

There the snake was, smashing the tip of his staff into the ground over and over again until–

–Crack!

The gemstone at the end of it shattered. There was no denying it anymore. This monster was attacking Ivan, not only through physical and magical means but through mental ones too. Seeing that, the last bit of doubt I had faded away. The way it'd positioned itself to catch me in the blast of Ivan's artillery magic had been intentional; I was sure of it.

“You know,” I spoke up, “the more I see from you, the less I can contain my excitement to face you in battle. You've earned my respect, snake. Now, show me what you've got!”