I’m a…
“Uncle? Where are we going?”
“Birdwatching.”
“Okay…Are you mad at me?”
“No mija, there are a lot of things I’m mad about right now but none of them are you. The best thing you can do when you feel like everything is jumbled up in your head is go bird watching and fishing. It calms both the mind and the heart.”
“But I need to train.”
“This is a type of training.”
“It is? How so?”
“Well mija, if you’re going to go away that means you will have to be without your mama again. This is training to see if you can do that.”
“Of course I can do that! I’m basically an adult.”
“Oh~ Is that so? What is an adult to you?”
“Someone who is allowed to work, drink alcohol and live how they want.”
“Chuckle I see. But you haven’t had any alcohol yet, right?”
“No, I know it’s bad for me so I don’t drink it.”
“That’s very smart of you. But since you can’t drink alcohol yet, that means you aren’t quite an adult yet, right?”
“Yeah, that’s why I said I’m basically an adult.”
“I think a better word for it would be independent, no?”
“I guess that works too.”
“Then please use that word from now on. Just tell people you’re an independent baby.”
“I’m not a baby though…”
“Why not?”
“Huh?”
“Why aren’t you a baby?”
“I…I don’t know how to answer that…”
“Let me rephrase it then. Why do you not want to call yourself a baby?”
“Because it’s bad. Also other people would laugh at me or think I’m crazy.”
“Let’s ignore other people for now, why is it bad?”
“Well…It’s an insult right?”
“Yeah, but it’s not an insult to actual babies. It’s just an insult to people way older that act like babies.”
“I guess…But that still means it’s bad. I can’t tell people I’m a baby.”
“You can tell me though, right? I’m not going to make fun of you for it.”
“I guess…Yeah.”
“And your mama and auntie too right?”
“Yes.”
“How about your sister and cousins?”
“I could tell them too.”
“So in the end, you can tell everyone that matters, right?”
“I guess that’s true, yeah.”
“Then please tell me.”
“R-Right now?”
“Yes, don’t worry I won’t laugh at you or call you names.”
“I…I am…I am a baby…”
“That’s right. A super duper cute and intelligent baby,” Uncle says while giving me kisses on the cheek.
Giggle
“So from now, whenever you have someone you trust, tell them that you’re a baby and not lie to them, okay? I’m sure only kindness will follow after that.”
“Okay.”
“Great! You’re such a good girl, Rose.”
“Hehe, Gao!”
Meanwhile in the Queen’s bedroom.
“Auntie, what’s wrong with Rose? She’s acting all weird,” Emilia asks.
Scarlet answers, “She’s not acting weird, she's acting how she usually acts.”
“What are you talking about? Rose never acts like that,” Miguel interjects.
“Then maybe you two don’t know her as well as you think you do.”
“Excuse me!? We’ve been with her for a year now, that’s longer than you’ve known her!” Emilia disagrees.
“But I’m the one that-”
Clapping her hands together the Queen interrupts them, “Alright, stop. You’re both right. I’ve seen it for a few days when Rose first came home. This is probably closer to how she acts when she’s not with us. You need to remember that Rose is severely traumatized. What happened at her birthday made her remember all these horrible experiences, so now she has put up all those guards again that she lost over her time here.”
“But how can she change so dramatically? It doesn’t make sense,” Miguel asks.
Carmilla answers, “Think of it like this. If you live in a place with lots of venomous snakes you’ll learn how to spend your day constantly checking for them so that you aren’t being bitten. Over time you don’t even need to think about checking because you do it automatically. And even after you move to a place without any snakes it will take a while for you to stop checking for them. But the moment you see one snake, even if it’s the only one where you live, you instantly go back to all those automatic behaviors to defend yourself. Rose, right now, is most likely immensely scared and feels extremely unsafe, which is why she now acts like that.”
“So what can we do to make her feel better?” Miguel asks.
“For now, it’s best if we let her check for snakes in peace but still remind her that she’s safe with us and treat her like we normally would. Even if she’s acting strange.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if she stayed with us then instead of going out with papa?” Emilia asks.
The Queen answers, “Sometimes it’s good to just get away from things that remind you of bad memories. Also your father is a very calm and collected person. I have full trust that Emilio will be a good influence on her right now. She needs a calm rock to rest on right now, not a warm breeze of people trying to help her.”
Scarlet scoffs, “If there is one thing uncle Emilio is good at it’s lulling you to sleep with his personality and animal facts…”
“And that’s exactly what she needs right now.”