I want you
Once Sher Aka and I are alone I ask, “Do you…Do you still want me as your child?”
Determined, she answers, “Yes I do. But you don’t have to decide right now. You still have a few more imprints to go through over the next few years.”
“Yes but if I do that I’ll have to imprint on Scarlet and Rayla and by then I’ll probably completely see them as my parents. So, if you don’t mind, can I ask you some questions?”
“Of course.”
“Is there a scenario you could imagine that would make you abandon me?”
“Hmm…Yes. If I had to sacrifice myself to protect you I would force you to leave me and I might even lie about the reason so you wouldn’t be as sad when I die. I would also give you away if I felt like I couldn’t take care of you anymore because I’ve gotten too sick or injured.”
“Would you give me away when I become too hard to look after due to me being sick or injured?”
“No, not unless the only option to heal you would be a place I’m not allowed to be in.”
“Do you think there is a chance that you could grow tired of me or stopped liking me?”
“There is always a small chance, yes. But it’s not something that I think is likely, in fact I think it’s far more likely that we will grow closer the longer we are together.”
“When I…When I do things wrong, will you hit me?”
“Absolutely not, no. I will explain to you why what you did is wrong so you won’t do it again instead. If you misbehave badly I might also punish you but I will never physically hurt you as punishment.”
“Wo-would you…Would you give me hugs and kisses whenever I ask for them?”
“Pfft Maybe not when I’m tied up doing something but whenever I’m able to I would.”
“Then…If I never get healed from my curse would you still care for me?”
“Yes.”
“And…Would you…Would you say that you love me?”
“Yes, I do love you Rose.”
“Okay…Then one last question, do you have any questions for me?”
“I do. Are you only asking me to be your mother because you’re afraid you’ll see Rayla and Scarlet as your parents instead?”
“No…I think I would wait a little longer if that wasn’t the case because I have a hard time trusting people but I do want you as my m-mother. I trust you a lot and I think you’d care for me really well. I also think you’re a good person and I like you a lot. It’s hard to think of anyone as my parent but it’s the least hard when I think of you as mine…”
“I understand. Can I ask what you want from me as your mother?”
“I just…I just want you to love me, not abandon me and not hurt me.”
“I understand. Have you decided you want to imprint on me then?”
“Yes…”
“Then can you give me some time to think about it more? I’ll give you my answer when you wake up again.”
“Y-Yeah of course, that’s fine.”
“Alright, in that case have a nice nap Rose.” Sher Aka answers then kisses me on the forehead.
“O-okay. See you later m-mom.”
“See you later, Rose.”
—--------------------------------------------------------------------
In the hallway Sher Aka finds Scarlet, Rayla and John who were obviously eavesdropping.
“Do I need to summarize what was said or do you already know?”
Looking at a bunch of guilty faces she says, “I will not waste my time then. It is a good thing you are all here though. Even if Rose imprints on me we won’t have a loving relationship if you all oppose it so I would like to ask for your permission to become her mother.”
Scarlet is the first to answer, “I won’t give it. I will never accept this. Rose already has a mother, she doesn’t need you.”
“But do you think that in the next twenty years or so she will get to the point that she decides to imprint on your mother? And what about until then? Will you be her mother? She needs a parent to look after her, can you give that to her?”
“I don’t need to! She just needs to come home.”
“I will repeat myself one more time. Do you think that will happen within the next twenty years? And do you think that she will choose to imprint on your mother if she does?”
“I…I don’t know. But we can decide that in eighteen years, not now.”
“I understand that you want to give her more time. But she said herself that she fears she’ll see both of you as her mothers if she keeps imprinting on you. Can you fill that role for her if she decides to just accept you as her mother after some more imprints?”
“I…I…No…I don’t think I could.”
“And what about you Ralya? Do you think you could take on that role?”
“No but even so, I’m still not convinced that you are a better choice. To me this feels like you’re just doing it on a whim.”
John interrupts, “I can at least tell you she seriously thought about it. Even though I still don’t like it. I won’t oppose it though. In the end it’s Rose’s decision not mine. Seeing as I can at least vouch for my sister being a good person I won’t be in their way.”
“Is my brother’s testimony enough to convince you, Rayla?”
“No.”
“May I ask for the reason why?”
“Because I’ve come to know you well enough now that I know a lot of how you present yourself is just a mask. I know there is a very deep seated dark part to your personality. And because I don’t know how deep that darkness goes I can’t agree to it.”
Letting out a smirk, Sher Aka answers, “You’re right. I’m not the perfect flower that I once was. How I present myself is an idealized version of how I think I once was before I was enslaved and how I want to be again. I have deep seated trauma from that time, I have trouble trusting people, especially men, and the thought of even giving a handshake to a man is revolting to me. I am a lot more prone to revenge towards people that have wronged me and I started to value the lives of people I don’t care about so lowly that I don’t have trouble killing a person that has wronged me or the people I care about. I also frequently wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares about the torture I went through and I’m not a hundred percent mentally stable. For a normal, healthy child I would not be the best choice for a mother.”
“Then why-”
“BUT Rose is not a normal healthy child either. She has gone through so many hardships, some of which I can deeply relate to, that would make it hard for a normal person to care for her. But because I have seen the abyss firsthand and clawed myself out of it again I do not fear it anymore, which makes me able to raise Rose with understanding and without judgment. It’s exactly because of the darkness inside me that I hold the unique position to help Rose find her way out of her own darkness.”
“You really are passionate about this…But are you truly able to say that you will love her and be a good mother for her?”
“Yes. I won’t be perfect but I’m confident that I’ll be a better mother than most.”
“In that case…I still don’t like it and I still don’t fully trust you on this but it is Rose’s choice and you seem sincere so I won’t stand in your way…”
Sher Aka bows her head, “Thank you. I don’t expect you to completely accept it right now but it does seem I have enough of your blessing for you to not actively stand in our way. If there is nothing else I will go be with my daughter now.”
“...”
“In that case, I’ll see you in a week when her imprint is over.”