Chapter 459
Bang!
Evenson returned through the portal and immediately dropped the person he was carrying onto the floor.
Then he stood there.
Completely motionless.
Gideon and Stephanie had been ready to question him the moment he returned. They wanted to know what had happened on the other side of the portal.
But one look at Evenson made both of them hesitate.
He looked terrible.
When he’d left, he’d been dressed in a perfectly respectable suit.
Now the jacket and tie were gone. His shirt was blackened and shredded, hanging from his shoulders in ragged strips. His shoes had vanished along with his socks, leaving him barefoot. His trousers were covered in charred holes, and the legs were uneven, one hanging several inches shorter than the other.
The exposed skin underneath was streaked black and white.
His once-golden hair was so filthy it had practically turned gray.
And that wasn’t even the worst part.
Evenson had simply stood there without moving for several minutes, and an astonishing amount of dust had already fallen from him onto the floor.
The man looked like he’d been buried alive for several years, dug up by archaeologists, and immediately put on display as an extremely confused historical artifact.
Gideon and Stephanie stared.
Then their imaginations took over.
The world beyond the portal must have been unimaginably dangerous.
A wasteland filled with toxic fire and ruins.
Evenson had probably encountered one or two terrifying enemies, fought them through several brutal battles, and either driven them away or been kicked halfway across the planet.
And now he was standing perfectly still because he was probably suppressing the violent energy still raging through his body after the battle.
Interrupting him at a moment like this could be disastrous.
What if they triggered some catastrophic backlash?
What if his internal energy went haywire?
What if he exploded?
Or worse, what if he suddenly lost control and went berserk?
Neither Gideon nor Stephanie was willing to find out.
As for the person Evenson had thrown onto the floor, they were curious, but not particularly concerned.
There was absolutely no way that was the Hive.
The man was bearded, dressed in rags, and currently lying facedown on the floor after being dragged in by his belt.
That was supposed to be their god?
He looked more like a homeless drifter.
If someone told Gideon he was a member of some ancient beggar’s guild, he might have believed it.
Eventually, Evenson released a tremendous breath.
"Whoo..."
After standing like a statue for more than two minutes, he finally moved again.
He walked over to the table, grabbed a glass of red wine without bothering to ask whose it was, tilted his head back, and drained the entire thing.
Then he exhaled again.
This time, he looked considerably more alive.
Stephanie’s hand moved toward the glass.
Then she immediately pulled it back.
She looked as though she wanted to say something.
But Evenson hadn’t actually been standing there to recover from some internal magical backlash.
Gideon and Stephanie had simply been wrong about the details.
Their general conclusion, however, had been surprisingly close.
Evenson had finally experienced what it was like to use one of his own cheap teleportation beacons.
He’d spent all this time using bargain-bin equipment to summon the Eredar twins, and they’d always complained about the terrible teleportation experience.
Now it was his turn.
And because this was an interdimensional teleportation, the experience had been particularly spectacular.
Imagine mixing cherry cola with peach soda, drinking half a liter in one gulp, then immediately riding a roller coaster and a pirate ship back-to-back.
That was roughly what Evenson had just endured.
He hadn’t been standing still because he didn’t want to move.
He literally couldn’t.
One wrong motion and he was fairly certain he would vomit all over Gideon’s floor.
He still had some dignity left.
He’d prefer to keep it.
After setting down the empty wineglass, Evenson began vigorously shaking the dust out of his hair and clothes.
More dust cascaded onto the floor.
Another few pounds, apparently.
Gideon and Stephanie exchanged a look.
Their theory about the epic battle on the other side of the portal became even stronger.
Then Stephanie noticed something.
When Evenson turned, the movement briefly exposed the small of his back.
There, burned into his skin, was a bright red hoofprint.
And when Evenson accidentally brushed against it while dusting himself off, he sucked in a sharp breath.
That looked painful.
Very painful.
Evenson nearly cried whenever he thought about it.
The hoofprint was, naturally, a gift from Salorath.
More specifically, it was the lingering evidence of what Salorath had affectionately demonstrated as the Dark Lady’s express delivery.
Consider the circumstances.
He had been standing on a rock in the middle of a lava lake stretching for miles in every direction.
That rock had been insanely hot.
Salorath had stood there for an entire hour.
Whatever temperature those hooves had reached, they were hotter than a blacksmith’s branding iron.
Evenson had activated Demonic Skin, Fel Armor, and several other defensive spells, so normally he wouldn’t have cared about the heat.
Unfortunately, he’d made one serious miscalculation.
He thought he understood Salorath’s legs quite well.
He had been wrong.
He hadn’t expected that much explosive force.
And he certainly hadn’t expected the attack to come with armor penetration.
One kick had torn through nine and a half layers of his defensive magic.
The hoofprint had been stamped onto him with absolute authority.
And that wasn’t even the end of it.
The kick had launched him clean across the lava lake.
Unfortunately, the momentum didn’t disappear when he landed.
Evenson hit the ground and proceeded to roll.
And roll.
And roll.
After what felt like eighteen consecutive tumbles, he finally came to a stop.
Covered from head to toe in dust, Evenson had learned an important lesson.
He still didn’t understand Salorath nearly well enough.
In the future, he needed to conduct a much more thorough study of her legs.
No.
Both sisters.
For scientific reasons, obviously.
"I don’t suppose I could borrow your bathroom?" Evenson asked.
He grabbed several tissues from the table and started wiping the grime from his face. At the same time, he tore what remained of his shirt off completely.
"If it’s not too much trouble, I’d appreciate a change of clothes too. Nothing expensive."
With the shirt gone, Evenson’s upper body was completely exposed.
Stephanie’s eyes flicked over him.
Then her expression became faintly dismissive.
That was it?
His physique was painfully average.
The man had two vaguely defined pectorals and a reasonably solid eight-pack.
Unfortunately, there was no helping it.
Evenson spent most of his time at home and rarely exercised. Whenever he went anywhere, he traveled by car or plane.
At best, he had maintained a respectable level of fitness.
If Kleia hadn’t dragged him out of bed every morning to run, he suspected he’d have developed a small belly by now.
Evenson himself didn’t particularly care.
Fat was stored energy.
There was nothing wrong with that.
And besides, if he remembered correctly, his current physique had considerable potential under Pandaren beauty standards.
"That’s fine."
Gideon was still processing everything he’d seen, but he eventually recovered.
"I’ll have someone take you to the bathroom."
Then he pointed toward the man Evenson had brought back.
"But who is that?"
Evenson paused.
He wiped another layer of grime from his chest.
Then he looked at Gideon.
"First, I owe you an apology."
Gideon’s expression tightened.
Evenson continued.
"I couldn’t find your god."
He gestured casually toward the unconscious man on the floor.
"As for this guy... I just grabbed him on the way back."