Chapter 111: Why Won’t You Wake
Jayden arrived not long after Logan had gone, slipping into the same quiet chair beside Julian’s bed, the room settling back into its familiar, patient stillness around him.
"it’s been weeks," Jayden said, voice rough with exhaustion and something rawer beneath it. "weeks, Julian. why haven’t you woken up yet."
He reached for Julian’s hand the same way Logan had, the same way he had every visit for what felt like an eternity now, tracing his thumb slow and absent across still, healing knuckles.
"I keep telling myself you’re just resting," Jayden continued, voice quiet in the dim, empty room. "that the healers are right, that your body just needs time. but it’s been so long, and every day you don’t open your eyes, I feel something in my chest getting tighter and tighter, like I’m running out of patience for hope that keeps not paying off."
He let out a slow, unsteady breath, shifting closer in his chair, careful not to disturb the careful arrangement of monitoring equipment still tracking Julian’s steady, unresponsive vitals.
"I keep thinking about everything I never got to properly say to you," Jayden said. "the proposal I gave you, back before any of this happened — I meant it as strategy back then, mostly. I won’t lie about that now, not to your unconscious face where at least it doesn’t sting quite as much to admit it." A faint, humorless smile crossed his exhausted features. "but somewhere between then and now, watching you refuse an Emperor, watching you fight a core-class Aberration until you collapsed, watching you disappear and reappear and disappear again, and never once stop fighting no matter what got thrown at you — somewhere in all of that, it stopped being strategy at all." He tightened his grip slightly around Julian’s hand.
"I want to ask you properly," Jayden said. "not as politics. not to block anyone else’s claim. just because I want you, Julian. because watching you refuse to break made me realize exactly what kind of person I actually wanted standing beside me, for the rest of whatever life I’ve got left to live." His voice cracked slightly. "and I swear, if you just open your eyes, if you just wake up and let me ask you properly — I’ll give you everything. anything you want. the throne’s resources, my own name, whatever it takes. I don’t care what the answer is, honestly. I just need the chance to actually ask."
Julian’s chest rose and fell, slow and steady, no response at all beneath the quiet, unbroken stillness of the room.
Jayden sat with him a long while longer, exhaustion pulling heavier at his own shoulders with every passing, silent minute, until finally, reluctantly, he rose from the chair, leaning down to press a soft, careful kiss against Julian’s forehead.
"I’ll be back tomorrow," he murmured, the same promise everyone made now, every single day. "just like always. please, just — come back to us soon."
He left quietly, the door clicking shut soft behind him, and the room settled back into its patient, unbroken silence once more.
---
Reid arrived not long after, the familiar rhythm of nightly visits carrying him through the medical wing’s quiet halls without needing to think about the route anymore, muscle memory alone guiding him to the same chair, the same bedside, the same still, unresponsive face he’d been visiting for weeks now.
He sat down heavily, exhaustion carved deep into every line of his scarred features, the weight of command and duty and grief all pressing down harder than usual tonight.
"still nothing," Reid said quietly, more statement than question, reaching for Julian’s hand the way he always did, holding it steady and careful in both of his own. "why won’t you wake up, Julian. it’s been so long. I don’t understand what’s keeping you under, and the healers don’t have any better answers than they did the first week."
He fell silent for a long moment, just holding Julian’s hand, watching the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing beneath the thin blanket.
"I’ve said most of what I came to say already," Reid admitted quietly. "every night, I keep telling myself I’ll say something new, something I haven’t already told you a dozen times over. but the truth is simple, and it hasn’t changed no matter how many times I repeat it." He tightened his grip slightly around Julian’s still fingers. "you’re my everything, Julian. I don’t know when exactly that happened. somewhere between carrying you back from that first battlefield and kneeling beside your fever weeks later, praying to whatever’s listening that you’d survive it. somewhere in there, you became the thing I organize my whole life around without even fully realizing it."
He let out a slow, unsteady breath, exhaustion and raw, aching honesty both bleeding through every word now.
"you’re my weakness too," Reid admitted, voice rougher now. "I’ve spent my whole career being careful, disciplined, never letting anything crack the composure duty demands of me. and then you showed up, insulting Emperors and refusing to break no matter what got thrown at you, and every careful wall I’d ever built around myself just — fell apart. I don’t know how to be the commander everyone needs me to be and also the man who can’t stop thinking about you, every single hour of every single day you’ve been lying here unresponsive."
He reached up with his free hand, brushing gentle fingers along Julian’s cheek, careful and slow.
"I need you to wake up," Reid said, voice cracking now despite every effort to hold it steady. "not for the Empire. not for whatever fight’s still coming, whatever that entity’s planning. just for me. selfishly, entirely for me. I need to see your eyes open again. I need to hear you insult me properly, the way you used to, instead of this terrible, endless quiet."
The room remained still, Julian’s breathing continuing its same slow, patient rhythm, no flicker of response, no sign at all that any of the words had reached him.
Reid sat with him a long while longer, silent now, simply holding his hand, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, exhaustion finally dragging hard enough at his own body that he let his head rest gentle against the edge of the bed, still gripping Julian’s hand even as his own eyes grew heavy.
"why won’t you wake up," he murmured one final time, barely audible now, voice thick with exhaustion and grief both. "please, Julian. just — come back to us. whenever you’re ready. we’ll be right here waiting, however long it takes."
The medical wing settled into quiet, unbroken stillness around them both, Reid’s breathing eventually slowing into something close to sleep even as he remained slumped beside the bed, refusing to fully let go of Julian’s hand even in exhaustion, the room holding its patient, unanswered silence long into the deepening night.