Chat, My Friend is a Literal God. What Do I Do?

Evening came, and Rippa started her stream as usual.

Buttons had gone home… if one could call it that. She had had a good time at the playground, and even had some interactions with other kids. Mainly showing off her prosthetic leg, and kicking stuff Muay Thai style with her metal shin, which impressed the kids very much.

Rippa's own legs were sore from running to the convenience store. 'I could have just walked,' she thought in hindsight.

"Ooh! Diamond!" she spoke into the mic. "Oh, no! Chat, I only have a stone pickaxe. Damn it."

Rippa was playing Minecraft. In a realm she had built on stream over many years.

"I think I have some iron ingots in the base." With that, she retraced her steps and headed back.

When she reached the surface, it was nighttime. Not too far, her base. A three-story villa she had spent countless hours building. It was lit bright with candles. This was her magic kingdom. 'My own holodeck,' Rippa chuckled to herself.

"Guys…" she started, then paused for a few seconds before resuming. "I think I've made a new friend!" She almost screamed as a zombie ambushed her out of nowhere. She quickly pushed it away and ran to her base.

"Ahaha, not that one. My friend isn't a zombie."

'Is it a VTuber?' a viewer asked in chat.

"No, she's not a VTuber. I meant an IRL friend. We went to a bouncy castle today."

Her chat was in disbelief.

'Rippa touched grass?'

'Another menhera?'

'How?'

On the Twitch side, people were spamming the 'nowaying' emote.

"Jambonman, thank you for five dollars!" Rippa read a Super Chat. "' It's OK, Rippa. We all love the bouncy castle. You don't have to invent an imaginary friend.' Motherfucker, thank you for the Super Chat, but for real, I'm not making it up!"

But, to be honest, that was funny. Rippa was dying laughing. Her chat was teasing her relentlessly.

'Schizo confirmed.'

'LMAO'

"No, chat, it's real. Fuck, why doesn't anyone believe me!" Rippa doubled down.

Then a new Super Chat came in.

"Buttolls, thank you for the Super Chat! 'Chat, I'm real.' Wait," Rippa squinted her eyes. "Hold on… Buttons? Buttons!"

Rippa's chat immediately went into chaos.

'She's real!'

'Rippa alt account exposed!'

'Butt holes LOL'

Rippa's brain was spinning fast. 'Fuck, I said her name. What now? Do I acknowledge her?' but then she'd be handing the internet a doxxing pipeline on a silver platter. Creepy people would search the username Buttolls in combination with Buttons and look it up everywhere, trying to find any innocent crack in posts made on X or Instagram or Facebook that would lead one step closer to Rippa's real identity and location. Not to mention all the online harassment Buttons would be subjected to for simply being an associate of Rippa's. After all, Rippa had quite many haters who wished her death. 'Wait, does Buttons even have an Instagram account? And why does she have the 1-year membership badge?'

Rippa's train of thought was interrupted by another Super Chat from Buttons.

'Show my photo, Rippa. It's OK. I'm undoxxable.'

That was definitely against ToS, Rippa was certain. Especially since Buttons was a child. Not that Rippa had any intention to show the photo to—

To her horror, something popped up on her second monitor. She had her Discord server's 'Stream Chat' channel open, and there, Buttons, under the same username Buttolls, uploaded a photo of her face. OK, there was a black bar over the eyes, but it didn't matter.

Thankfully, the photo was immediately deleted by a moderator active in the channel. Rippa went further and muted the kid herself both on Discord and on YouTube, but the damage was already done.

"Buttons!" Rippa screamed. Her voice cracked. "Get off the internet!"

She quickly checked the 'Stream Chat' channel again. About two hundred people. The photo was up only for a second or two, but how many were paying attention?

'Rippa…'

'Rippa, that's a kid?' A Discord member carried the information over to the YouTube chat. The containment had failed.

'WTF?'

'Wait, what happened?'

'She uploaded her photo on Discord.'

'The friend is a minor?'

'Rippa groomer confirmed!'

Only a handful of people had actually seen the photo, but the news that Rippa's new IRL friend was a little girl… that alone was enough.

The Twitch chat was catching on. They were now spamming 'FBI.'

'Shit,' Rippa took a deep breath. "Ahahaha, chat, it's not like that. I can explain."

Fortunately for her, chat was memeing itself to absurd hilarity. That was something Rippa could lean on, if she approached it with honesty.

'Wait, doxxing her would be child endangerment. She's really undoxxable,' a viewer pointed out.

"True! True." Rippa agreed. "Anyway, it's nothing weird. She's a big fan. So her butler reached out for a small meet and greet."

That kicked the right spot. Rippa's chat was now razor-focused on the word butler.

'Little ojousama!'

'Reverse Epstein! [comment removed by moderator]'

'Rippa sell out confirmed!'

"Fuck you, dude, I'm not a sellout," Rippa laughed. "No, but seriously, though, I gotta talk to her butler about her internet use. She should be more careful." Rippa half-joked. "She's gonna get me banned!"

'LOL'

'Discord nuke when?'

'Just don't groom kids?'

"'Just don't groom—' What the fuck?" Rippa was laughing and memeing with her chat, who enjoyed her peril. She also noted that some were congratulating her for making a new real friend. "Thanks, guys. And, really, I'm not a PDF." And she wheezed. "Wait, don't clip that!"