I Reincarnated as the Villainess and I Refuse to Follow the Plot

My life was over. My entire existence.

I rushed through Blaine estate, biting my lip so hard I drew blood. The metallic taste was nothing compared to how much I screwed up. The only thing I could hear beyond my breathing and panic were the words Kyla spoke in a broken rapid succession – haunting me.

When did I arrive at this place? How long had I been disconnected from my own mind? I had a faint memory of arriving and looking for a book for her, but other than that there was nothing. An emptiness as though I had been in a perpetual suspended drunken state.

Had it been weeks? Months? One single annoying question kept circling to the front: Why did she wait so long to help me? If she knew I was mentally unstable – she should have done something sooner. Did she enjoy watching me without autonomy?

No, no. I can worry about all of this later. I have to contact master.

For a moment, I almost didn't recognize where I was going – almost. Even with the memory gaps, my body knew the way to my shared room. I skidded to a stop outside the door, tugging it open so hard it almost flew off the hinges.

This better be the correct room. If not- No, no, no. The body knows when the mind forgets.

I bound inside, freezing in place when the sound of soft snores reached my ears. Frantically, I looked over to see a hideous girl laying on her back. Even in the darkness, I could see her mouth wide open and see the saliva dripping through her crooked teeth.

A faint memory of her smiling from ear to ear violated my mind. What was her name again? Jan? Jannette? Stephanie? Doesn't matter.

Disgusted, I turned away from her, crouching down beside the bed I assumed was mine. I reached under the bed, slapping my hand repeatedly against the dirty floor. Where is my bag? I wouldn't have left it too far from me – mad or not.

Finally my hand brushed against a worn strap. I found it!

I pulled it out slowly, careful to not wake up the girl. The material seemed the same – it must be mine. I undid the knot I must have made, and dug around inside it, feeling my heart skip a beat. Please, please be here. I dug around, sweat dripping off my brow. Where is it? Did she take it?

I glared over at the sleeping woman, teeth clenched. How dare she take master's gift? I will- The thought stopped abruptly as my hand grazed along a smooth surface I knew well.

I tugged it out, letting out a cry of happiness. "Thank the gods. Thank the gods." I whispered, pulling it out, and resting it against my chest.

Movement from the bed stilled me momentarily. I turned my head quickly toward her. The girl stirred in her bed, mumbling under her breath. She turned over, back to me, and began to snore louder than she had before.

I took a deep, relieved breath, and sprang to my feet. It's good that she is sleeping still. If she woke up and saw me...

I didn't need to finish the thought – I already knew what would have happened should that moment arise. Master is waiting.

I turned on my heel and fled the room, trying to recall the layout of the estate. The deeper I walked down the hallway, the more I wondered where everyone was. No one stood in the halls, not even the sound of a mouse chewing could be heard. It was strange indeed, yet I didn't spend more time thinking about it.

Only Master mattered.

I was cautious in my steps. If movement sounded beyond a door, I would pause and wait then move on when nothing happened. Some may think it paranoid, but I had learned to listen and pay attention to my surroundings. One that does not listen and observe dies a futile death.

The corridors were longer than those of other estates – an odd fact I added to memory. The twists and sudden turns blocked the view from someone who was not directly in the same location. Perhaps it was an intentional paranoid build.

As I moved along, my mind naturally did what it always did. My thoughts turned toward the one person in the world that mattered. Master.

It had been four years since she first saved me from that hellhole of an orphanage. The daily beatings and starvation left me on death's door on more than one occasion. The last time, the final time, I would have perished. I already knew I was going to die. But! Master saved me. My life has been spared by the cruelty of fate at the hands of a woman who should never have looked my way.

Not only did she save me and remove me from the director's clutches, in her wisdom, she had punished that sorry excuse for a human. I still remembered the way she looked, covered in his blood after giving him a beating. To an outside, she may have been frightening, scary, or deranged. To me though, she was an angel sent by the gods themselves.

She didn't stop with the beating. No. Not at all. She made sure that every neglected child found someone who would love them. Master was, in its pure form, a blessing given to humanity to humble them and teach them how to live and breathe. Everything she touched shone with a brightness that no mortal could understand.

It was no wonder that I fell in love with her. Who wouldn't after seeing her? Unlike some other fools – I knew my place. Not once did I utter the words of my love to her. I did almost say it at first, but I kept my silence when she voiced she was in love with someone as pure as herself.

The love she held was so strong that she knew, and told me, that they were forever entwined to love one another. It sounded like gibberish, until she told me that everyone has a mate in life and everyone finds them eventually.

Master was my fate – but I was not master's.

Smiling, I opened a backdoor to the estate, and stepped out into the hot night. The sounds of insects and night animals scurrying across the ground, was the only noise I could hear. I checked my surroundings twice, before walking down the path toward the backside of the estate.

I wanted to think about master more, but I couldn't let myself get lost in thought. I had to find a secluded location where I could talk to her. If someone happened upon me, everything master wanted me to achieve would be over.

She had selected me specifically for this job and I would not, could not, fail her. Not after everything she's done for me.

I scurried through the grounds, my feet aching with each step. I wondered a few times why they were hurting, but my frantic drive to contact master overrode my biological discomfort. It wasn't what mattered.

I reached the end of the path after several painfully long minutes. It split into two sections, one right, one left.

Have I been out this far before? I looked both ways, biting my lip. I don't remember. I don't remember much of anything. Would that upset master?

I chose the left hand path, the one that led further away from the manor – it was the only true option. Many of the grounds keeping staff, in other noble estates, never diverted too far from the main building. I had to assume that this estate would be similar to all the others I had trained at, under master's orders.

The deeper I walked into the night, the more my nerves began to spike. The fear of being caught, even though increasingly annoying, sharpened my senses. I could hear everything around me, every small crunch of underbrush under small animal feet.

The end of the path terminated into a garden with a hideous fountain in what looked to be the center. Upon closer examination, I realized it was in the image of a woman.

Master would look better as the center piece. I scuffed, walking inside. She would look stunning with wings coming from her back and water gently trickling from her finger tips.

I laughed softly, clearing the fountain and stopping when the sound of distant water bubbled. A river maybe? No, it's too soft. A stream more like. That will be the perfect spot.

I picked up pace, running through the rest of the garden. Swiftly, I found a gate and burst through, jogging down toward the water. I glanced around me three times, double checking no one was around.

"How silly." I chuckled crouching down and looking at my reflection in the rippling water. "There's no one here."

I reached into the cold liquid, searching for a sharp rock – something I could use to puncture skin. After many, many attempts, I finally found a rock that would suffice. I stood up, juggling the mirror in one hand and pressing the rock against my left hand's pointer finger. The pain was sharp and stung – but I could handle it as I always did.

"Master," I murmured, pressing my bloody finger into the mirror. I chanted the words master had taught me, a sense of giddiness and unease shook the insides of my stomach. Even if she's displeased, I will still get to see her. Oh if only I could touch her beautiful hand.

The usual sensation of heat flashed through my body, followed by a sensation of euphoria – indicating the magic spell had worked.

The mirror frosted over and began to shimmer lightly. I bit my lip, as worry replaced the giddiness I had felt moments ago. I knew master's temperament better than anyone else and expected her to scold me until her temper cooled.

I deserve her anger and rage. It was my fault I hadn't contacted her twice a week. Or was it Kyla's fault for leaving me in such a state? I should never have thanked her when she cured me.

The mirror began to flicker in various shades of pinks and reds before it stabilized.

Master had answered my call.

"H-hello, master." I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch with you until now."

"Huh?" Master's groggy voice sounded, and an adorable yawn left her lips.

Oh how I wish she would – for once – show me her angelic face. Master told me she worried that someone would see her if she revealed herself. I understood it, obviously master was right, but it still left me yearning regardless of the logic behind it.

"Why are you contacting me?" Master snapped, her voice as cold as ice. "Do you know how long it's been?"

She's mad. I knew she would be mad. I deserve her ire.

"I apologize for the very long delay. And contacting you so very late." I bowed low, raising the mirror above me so she could see how contrite I truly was. "I have been under a spell that I had only now broken free of."

"Okay, but...who are you?" Master asked, shifting on her bed. I could faintly hear the sound of the bedsheets moving below her frail frame.

"It's me, master. Alora." I stood up, turning the mirror closer toward my face. She must not be able to see me in the dark. "I apologize for the low lighting. I am outside right now as it's the only safe location to speak to you."

"What...do...you – why the hell did it take you so damn long to reach out to me?" Master's voice wobbled, then snapped sharply.

"I was under mind control." I frowned, feeling tears threaten my eyes.

Do not cry. You deserve this.

"What? Who had you under mind control? Where are you right now?"

"I'm...watching Lady Kyla." I blinked a few times, shifting from foot to foot. "I followed her to Blaine manor and-"

"Why is she there already?" Master muttered, letting out a long sigh. "I don't understand."

"Her father sent her here." I supplied, rubbing my finger gently against the back of the mirror.

I didn't realize how much I missed her voice.

"Sent who there?" Master asked, her tone softening into confusion.

"Lady Kyla, master."

"What about Kyla?" Master asked, shifting again. "Who are you?"

"Master I'm-"

"Who is your master?"

"You are." I laughed softly. Is master too sleepy right now? "It's Alora master, are you alright?"

"Alora?" Master mused, a frown in her voice. "I don't know anyone named Alora."

"Master, I know I upset you." I bowed again, low enough my back protested in pain. "But please do not discard me. I will do better and follow your instructions properly and-"

"Wait, hold on. Alora, right?"

"Yes, master."

"I'm sorry." She cleared her throat, shifting against her sheets for the third time. "I think you contacted the wrong person. I didn't know my mirror was even a communication device! I'm really sorry, but I don't know you, so please never contact me again."

"What?" I looked up, fear slamming into me. "Master, please don't pretend-"

"I-I'm leaving now." Master stuttered. "Please don't bother me again!"

"Master, wait! I-"

The mirror disconnected despite my protests.

The tears I had held back without fail, spilled unabashed down my face.

Is this because I failed her? I hiccupped, sinking to the ground. Is she so angry she no longer wants me around? I pressed the mirror into the dirt, and sobbed over it – tears bouncing off the surface.

"I-I'm so sorry, master." I wailed, covering my face.

I sobbed for a long, long time, clenching the mirror like a life-line.

My thoughts filled with master from her smile to her light scolding, to the way she had acted tonight.

Slowly, ever so slowly, as I composed myself, and the tears began to dry up – I realized something important.

How silly of me. I laughed, brushing the tears from my eyes. I should have noticed it before.

Master wasn't forsaking me – she would never do that.

Master had told me she would never discard me even if it seemed like she had.

"That's right." I laughed again– the sound coming out watery. "This must be a test. A test to prove my worth even more than I already had."

I raised the mirror, pressing my lips against the cold surface.

"Don't worry, master." I smiled, stroking it as though I was stroking her hair. "I will be your eyes and ears."

With one final kiss, I scrambled to my feet, turning away from the water.

I would be master's weapon for as long as she needed me to be.

Without master I am nothing.

I let out a laugh, and walked away.

I will obey you without fail, my lovely master.

Next Arc: Volume 2: The Winds of Change – Arc 2: Phoenix