Chapter 179: Ch. 181
Sirius felt sick. He had believed that Dumbledore was a good man. That he was not responsible for what had happened to Sirius. But seeing things from Harry's point of view made it hard not to see that Dumbledore really wasn't as light as Sirius and the wizarding public had always believed. What kind of person dumped a child on a doorstep with only a letter for an explanation? What kind of person lied about such things?
When Sirius was honest with himself, he didn't really care how taking Harry in affected the Dursleys. They were muggles, but it was pretty obvious that Harry did care, and Harry didn't like the way Dumbledore had presumed that Petunia was willing to care for him. Sirius half wondered if that meant Harry had been raised the way he had been. He hoped not.
Sirius' years at Azkaban had been spent reliving the worst of the years with his mother and father. If he hadn't been able to focus on the thought of his innocence he'd have gone quite mad. As it was, Paige had determined that he would probably have fits of depression for the rest of his life and he had effective regressed maturity-wise to somewhere around age fifteen. He had decided after the time that Harry had initially paid for was up, that he would be continuing to see Paige because he could see the benefit of working with her. She challenged him to see life as it was rather than the pre-conceived morass that he'd started from. He was no longer an inpatient at the clinic, but he still had therapy three times a week. Paige made time for him if he needed more, like she had the last week and a half.
He figured it would take a couple years but that maybe when his therapy was done he would have a solid set of values from which to live from and the maturity to face life hopefully making fewer mistakes. His fifteenth year was not one of the more stellar years of his life in terms of decisions he'd made. Right now with his reactions to many things being immature ones, fraught with the likelihood of poor decisions, prejudices stemming from his childhood popping up daily, and frequent overreactions he was relying on Moony's judgement more than his own. He just prayed that he didn't screw up with Harry again.
Sirius thought about the prophecy. How that must have horrified James and Lily. If Harry was indeed the one to end Voldemort he needed training, highly specialized training. Not the standard Hogwarts student training it seemed he'd been getting, especially considering the curse on the defense job. Sirius thought hard about who he could possibly influence into helping Harry. Nymph, of course, but as an auror trainee she'd be hard-pressed to find the time. Remus was a given, he'd do it for his pack even if Dumbledore told him not to. Sirius would have to think about it more.
Cassandra spoke up for the first time. "Harry doesn't want to learn to do dark spells. He just wants to be able to recognize and counter them. We've come up with a way that we feel makes sense. I am effectively a squib, I can work magic but I usually can't do the more difficult magics and I usually find it easier and faster to do something by hand. I will study the books and summarize the incantation the wand movement, and the effects so Harry can recognize it. I will give him everything he needs to know for the counters; this way no sensible person can claim that Harry's going dark.
"I believe that Harry needs this information. I can only help him so much, with my magic being what it is. When he gave me a job he saved me; I'm just trying to return the favor. Letting me do this research is what the muggles call a win-win situation. Please?" She looked at Sirius with a plea in her eyes.
As Sirius looked in her eyes he felt as if his heart turned over. It scared him. "Alright, you can have access. It may take a month or two. My ancestral abode is something of a disaster at the moment. The old adage the elves reflect the master is sadly remarkably true. Kreature still hasn't pulled himself together since I got out, and being without a family for six years… well. Let's just say his worst traits got magnified, and I'm still debating giving him clothes."
"The Potter elves would probably be willing to help. They don't really have enough to do with me being at school most of the time." Harry said. "And if you want to redo the place, Cassandra probably has a list of contacts that can help. She oversaw the rebuild on Potter Manse. It's fabulous now."
"Are you serious?"
Harry said deadpan, "No, you are."
Remus looked at them and cracked up. Seeing Sirius' favorite pun turned back on him was just too funny, especially coming from the all too serious Slytherin student.
Sirius looked at his godson. Harry looked less uptight than when they had first arrived. "I'd appreciate that." He said, for once ignoring the pun. "I want to help you, Harry. You didn't make this situation, us, adults did, and you shouldn't be expected to fix it. Although magic being what it is, I suspect you will have to deal with the problem. I will try my hardest not to let you down again and to help you."
Harry looked searchingly at his godfather. His instincts said the man was speaking the truth as he knew it. Harry's own experiences though made it difficult for him to trust. "I believe you'll try."
Sirius gave Harry a hopeful grin, "So, godson of mine, what do you like to do?"
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