Chapter 0: Prologue
If everything had played out exactly the way you knew it would, could you have succeeded the way you wanted?
…
Let’s us wind back to the beginning of my delusions. This is Laurel, a bachelor in his 20s. While I would love to tell the tale about my journey to the underworld, truth be told, I’m just as confused as everyone else. After wasting my youth away in my studies, I ended up a loner. That was fine, I thought, as all was worth it if I could at least live a good life. But I didn’t.
More than 10 years of desperate effort to prove that I’m worth something. Nothing. Every step ended up as a failure; every choice ended up as a mistake. With hands too rough for delicate work, the brain of a fish, and the clumsiness of a drunkard, it seemed I was destined to never reach the stars I yearned for. But hey, when has life ever been smooth sailing, right?
So, I chose computer science as my major. Partially because I wanted to build something useful, but more because it negated the majority of my flaws. But math was never my fort. And so, I wasted mine underneath the shadows of my elder siblings. Why don’t you get it? Why are you so stupid? This is just the basics of it all. How are you going to live if you can’t even do that?
… After failing graduation, I drank away my sorrows. Neither my parents nor my siblings are going to shame me for it. They worry for me too much to do so. But I could feel it in their gazes. Disappointment. I was a failure. Trash. A useless younger brother who couldn’t even graduate from university. So, I kept chugging down one bottle after another.
Honestly, I still don’t get why people drink alcohol; it tasted horrible. Actually, maybe it was originally made to taste like fermented trash just to make you feel less trashy. Yeah, that would have made sense.
The last thing I remember was reading a novel about a creep reincarnated into the body of a child… Was I reading porn? I don’t remember. Probably. So why did he get the easy life while I have to struggle like a dog? More than half of that character’s success was attributed to those around him. He succeeded, and I failed. Miserably
If only I had natural talent… on anything, even. It wouldn’t really help much, but at least I would know what to do with my life. Whatever the case, I remember lamenting that if I were him, I would have done so much better. I would have pulled through with my new abilities and protected everything I loved without any regrets… So… Is that why I ended up here?
…
A few minutes before, when I woke up. The moment I set my sights on the world, a kaleidoscope of vibrant colors danced and sparkled. I squinted, trying to figure out what the weird golden glow was. The golden light had the shape of a human lying on the bed. And as said golden color moved away, and came the feeling of being carried away from my current position as I faced the silver light.
… Am I high? Oh wait. I AM high. Of course I’m high; this must be the aftereffects of overdrinking. Hah, I swear I’m not going to take another sip of that shit ever again. Words were spoken, but I couldn’t—Wait... English? I frowned.
“Look, Paul. He has purple eyes.”
Said the voice of a woman. Then responding to the golden glow was the voice of a man. Where am I? Am I in the hospital? I thought. But then again, when was a hospital ceiling ever brown? I sighed to myself once more as I tried to position myself with my tiny hands—Wait. Tiny?
Slowly, slowly. I glanced down, moving my fingers. No longer did I see the pair of rough hands I used to work with. Instead, what greeted me were tiny, chubby little fingers moved awkwardly by my command. I went into a confusion, staring at these weak limbs, realization dawning on me slowly but harshly.
“Ahh! Wahh!”
There were two more voices in the background, but I couldn’t care less. I started panicking, and I screamed in utter horror. How? How in the dog fuckery did I die from drinking?!
No, no, no. Calm down, Laurel. Breathe. Breathe… It’s probably just an optical illusion hahaha… Definitely! I’m probably hallucinating after drinking that shit. After all, people drink that poison on a daily basis; there's no way I could die from drinking. Ha… Hhuuhhh.
The silver light picked me up while the adults were talking to each other. But I didn’t care. My body was weary, perhaps because of overworking from my exams. Heh. Who knows? Maybe it was all a dream.
Maybe tomorrow I will find myself sleeping pathetically on the floor with wine bottles everywhere. Ah. My health, damn it. Really shouldn’t have drunk so much, Laurel. My older sister will start to sarcastically complain about how I am so useless as per usual. Then out of spite I would try harder to prove her wrong, probably ending up failing at something stupid again. Then we will all laugh it off.
Yup. Definitely. After all, I’ve been thinking about a restart with magic the whole time that I actually dreamt of it. Let’s not panic out of nowhere like an idiot. Once I wake up, my shitty life will come back.
I slept. Then I woke up. Then I slept again. And then I woke up again. Months passed. I sighed. Nothing but garbled whining and moaning. That was proof that I wasn’t hallucinating. Despite waving my tiny arms and flailing about. Nothing. There was no other choice but to face the music at this point.
I died. And somehow I reincarnated into this world that looks as blurry as heaven. Or it was simply because I was born with terrible eyesight, which, considering my former occupation as a former IT department student, was actually fitting.
Honestly, I still have a hard time believing this. But compared to the theory that I got kidnapped by aliens and turned into a baby as an experiment, it sounds ridiculous. Hence, while it should be impossible, reincarnation was the most likely logical conclusion to whatever this mess is. Or I have finally gone delulu… Probably the latter. Aha hahaha… Yeah. I’m screwed.