Eternally Regressing in Another World

Duel begins in two hours. Weapons of any kind permitted for both sides. Elizabeth’s loss condition: taking even a single hit. My loss condition: losing consciousness, or surrendering outright. Time limit: one hour. Running out the clock counts as my loss. Battleground: the entire annex building on the estate grounds, free use of the whole space. Anyone who leaves the annex is immediately considered defeated.

"...No way this works."

Having gone through the full rundown of the rules, I sat slumped on the floor of the armory, staring blankly with the eyes of a dead fish.

"Seriously, this is brutal, ...there’s just no way, no matter how you slice it."

The moment I’d heard "duel," I’d been counting on winning by running out the clock, but the rules had completely killed that option. Made sense too, really, if running out the clock counted as a win, this wouldn’t be a duel, it’d just be hide and seek.

"What do I do. Weapons, sure, but there’s barely anything here I could actually use."

Swords, spears, axes, hammers, bows, all sorts of finely crafted weapons lined up. But if I couldn’t wield them properly, they were just junk to me. The only thing I could maybe swing without embarrassing myself was a knife, but that would mean a close range speed contest. That’s basically the tortoise trying to outrun the hare.

"If I can’t get close, maybe a bow instead?"

I eyed a gold bow displayed prominently. Tried lifting it lightly, but it was absurdly heavy. Thought it was just gold plating, but picking it up told me otherwise.

"This is solid gold."

I looked for a lighter bow instead, pulling one off a nearby shelf. Still, the overwhelming weight strained my wrist just holding it. The material didn’t look like solid gold this time, but the fittings and grip were still all metal. Is this what real weapons, not sporting equipment, actually feel like?

"Well, at least this much should be..."

What I picked up was a wooden shortbow, the kind of thing that looks like starter gear in a video game. I nocked an arrow and tried pulling the string back. ...Too stiff to even budge.

"What the hell!? Is a bow really this much of a strength check!?"

No matter how hard I pulled, I couldn’t get it back even halfway. Accounting for my own lack of strength, still failing this hard with a weapon I always thought of as more suited for women left me a little emotionally wrecked.

"What was the deal with elves using bows so effortlessly in every novel I’ve ever read!? I swear, if it turns out they’re all secretly jacked underneath their robes..."

The fact that I was already spiraling into that kind of nonsense probably meant I was halfway to giving up already. Rubbing my aching wrist, I put the bow back on the shelf with a sinking feeling, and something caught my eye, what looked like a door.

"Huh... there was a door back here? Couldn’t tell, hidden behind the shelf."

A beat up door tucked behind the far shelf. Dust caked thick on the doorknob suggested it had been left untouched for a long time.

"...Guess I’ll open it."

Might be some powerful weapon hidden inside. Chasing that slim possibility, I pushed the door open, silently praying.

"Whoa, that’s a lot of dust..."

The moment the door opened, the room’s lights flickered on. Fine dust danced through the light, thick enough to make me want to shield my eyes. I covered my mouth with my sleeve and scanned the room.

"Some kind of storage room?"

Countless wooden crates sat lined up on shelves, each labeled with a number. I pulled one down and opened it. Dust from the lid scattered as I squinted, and something familiar came into view.

"Explosive crystals?"

Inside was a densely packed pile of crystals. I nervously opened a nearby crate, and found the exact same thing.

"...Wait, are all of these the same?"

Stones that explode on impact. Dozens of crates worth, filling every shelf in view. Standing in front of that sight, a vision of victory started forming in my mind, bit by bit.

"With this... this might actually work! Forget just landing one hit, I’ll take a complete victory. Just you wait, Elizabeth!!"

I immediately began scouting the annex building. Naturally, I’d already gotten permission for a walkthrough beforehand. This fight would inevitably come down to running and evading, mostly. Without thoroughly knowing the terrain, I’d lose within minutes.

"That’s about the general layout, from a quick look."

Roughly the size of an elementary school building, wooden, three stories. About twenty rooms per floor. Hallways ran in a U shape, same layout on every floor. First floor had a kitchen and a dining hall with a fireplace. Second floor had dressing rooms, changing rooms, and several storage rooms. Third floor featured reception rooms and other finer, higher quality spaces. That was the general gist of it.

"Alright, where to start."

Obviously, just running around waiting for an opening and striking from behind wouldn’t work against an opponent like her. After finishing my thirty minute scouting run, I got to work setting up my rigged traps.

An hour left before the match started. I was down on the first floor of the annex, swinging a hammer.

"Haah, haah, this is heavy! Brutal! Damn it!"

Grunting like a battle cry with every complaint, I swung the iron mass upward toward the ceiling. The rules said nothing against rigging traps or setting up mechanisms. Which meant, right now, I was putting everything into building a cheap, underhanded trap.

"Phew, guess that’s enough for now. Push it too far and I won’t have the energy left to actually fight. Well, not that I have any intention of fighting fair anyway."

I tossed the hammer out the window into a handcart waiting outside. Climbing straight through the window myself, I pulled the cart back toward the armory.

Elizabeth stood by a hallway window, fan pressed to her mouth, grinning. Her gaze was fixed on a man desperately hauling explosive crystals onto a handcart.

"Are you certain about this, my lady? He appears to be rigging something into the annex..."

Selva asked, sounding uneasy. But Elizabeth looked at him like he’d said something obvious.

"Certain? Of course I’m certain. If he’d simply charged in with an unfamiliar weapon, I was fully prepared to beat him black and blue and toss him right back out."

Elizabeth spread her fan, wearing the delighted smile of a child about to start a game.

"Watch closely. That man’s clever little schemes."

Less than two minutes remained until the appointed start time. Elizabeth took her position at the annex’s west entrance. I took mine at the east entrance. Just to be safe, I did one last check of my bag’s contents, going over my equipment. Anything useless had already been left behind in my room. The bag was now stuffed full of an unusual assortment of gear.

"Let’s see, oil borrowed from the kitchen, two paring knives, a bag of ground pepper, a towel and a pair of gloves. A jarred, absolutely reeking fermented food. Six explosive crystals, and a few empty cloth sacks. Then the usual convenient stuff, phone, tablet, tissues. Lighter and hairspray for a makeshift flamethrower. Yeah, I think I’m good."

I already had three different plans mapped out in my head. Naturally, I wanted to go with whichever was safest and had the highest chance of success.

"First priority is making sure Plan A doesn’t get discovered. If I can make it there without running into Elizabeth..."

"It’s almost time."

Selva’s voice came from my breast pocket.

"Huh, this communication crystal thing carries sound better than I expected."

The small green crystal Selva had handed me before I took my position. A magic tool for sending and receiving voices across a distance. Basically, an early flip phone equivalent. Selva’s voice through this makeshift phone somehow felt more forceful than usual.

"Now, let the duel between the two of you begin!"

I put my hand on the annex door, tensing my legs for a running start.

"...Or so I’d like to say, but I’ll be adding one rule."

At Selva’s words, my body froze. ...A very bad feeling was creeping in.

"It seems someone was found lurking inside the annex. Therefore, I’ll be adding a rule prohibiting outside assistance from third parties during the duel."

Behind that announcement, I faintly heard Tender’s scream. And from the other side of the annex, Elizabeth’s laughter. My Plan A, "use Tender’s illusion magic to sneak in an attack undetected," collapsed with a resounding crash.

"Now then, let the match begin!!!"