FIXated

The door from classroom 2-C softly creaked as the knob twisted, swinging its hinges open.

Slowly and discreetly.

A man with jet black locks stepped inside the room. His shoulders hunched forward, clutching the sling of his messenger bag with one hand, while his gaze remained staring at the ground.

Then, he turned around, shutting the door behind him with a soft thud.

Raphael glanced up, seeing the classroom sparsely filled with students, chatting in the corners of the room, while some remained seated on their chairs, studying or gossiping with seatmates.

His attention turned towards a group of students, huddling near his desk. Antonio, Feyline, and Alexis were gathered together. They seemed to be discussing something serious among themselves as their faces all pained with anxiety and bewilderment.

Once they looked over Raphael’s direction, they gasped and pointed at him.

“Raphael!”

They came rushing towards him, shoving chairs and tables to the side in a hurry upon calling out his name.

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“Where have you been? Someone told us you ditched Mr. Davies' class to visit the nursing office.” Alexis stepped forward, leaning in closely as he looked through his eyes.

Raphael shifted his body back, tensed up.

“Yeah, dude. We literally rushed there like idiots after class.” Antonio approached, wrapping an arm over his shoulders.

“Worst part. You weren’t even there. Did we just get trolled?” Feyline joined in, crossing her arms as she huffed her breath.

Raphael averted his gaze from them as she scratched the side of his cheek.

When Antonio’s arm pressed hard against him, holding him in a tight embrace, a wave of dull sensation ached somewhere below his abdomen. He bit his lip hard, trying his best not to wince at his grip. Even standing here idly didn’t help ease the discomfort as the pain continued to throb like a cramp.

Still, he needed to remain calm.

Don’t let them notice.

“Yeah. I am fine.”

He muttered under his breath, gently shrugging Antonio’s arm off his shoulder. He forced a smile across his lips, a small, pained smile.

“Just a mild case of stomach issues. I had to visit the restroom for that.”

“Pfft. Bathroom?! Dude, you ditch us for the toilet?” Antonio laughed out loud, clutching his belly tight.

“Hmmm... really? You sure it’s not because you wanted to skip class? “Alexis rubbed his chin, eyeing him thoroughly as he scrutinized every reaction his face and body made.

“Seriously, man. I would believe it more if you secretly met with someone.” Antonio teasingly whispered in his ear.

A rush of redness flushed in Raphael’s cheeks. For a brief second, the memory of the garden scene flashed in his mind.

Her thigh pressed against him.

Her warm breath hovered near his ear, whispering.

Her body pressed against him, while his chest beat hard and rapidly against hers, before her lips softly nibbled on his ear.

Quickly, he shook his head.

Wait… Why am I thinking about this?

Now, it’s not the time for that.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” He laughed awkwardly. “Uhh, it’s probably because I barely ate this morning.”

Feyline stepped forward, but the frown on her face slowly dissipated, softening into a concerned look. She leaned in closer.

“You sure? You are acting weird, though. Something happened?”

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Raphael’s heart skipped a beat. His words were caught at the end of his tongue. Nothing came out.

“Yeah. Really.” He lied as he tried his best to form a genuine smile across his face, but his eyes eventually wandered away from hers.

“Let’s just take a seat… classes are about to start.”

He excused himself, passing through them carefully, avoiding any contact, even just a brush of cloth against his skin, walking too cautiously towards his seat.

The three of them stared at Raphael walking off at a certain distance, observing him quietly before they looked at each other for a moment.

“Well…” Alexis blinked, turning towards the two. “What do you guys think?”

Antonio just rubbed his chin, pretending like he was caressing a long beard. “Hmmm… I sense something else.”

“Well, there’s probably something, and he doesn’t wanna talk about it. “Feyline sighed.

“He didn’t get stabbed at the back door, did he?” Antonio whispered, leaning in closer to them.

Feyline's eyes widened, nodding slightly. “Possibly.”

Alexis just pinched his lips together, thinking. “Well, we can just assume.”

They dismissed their thoughts with a shrug of their shoulders, slightly easing their worries before they began to head back towards their desks, trailing right behind Raphael.

As Raphael reached his seat, he stopped right in front of it, hesitating. The thought of sitting against the hard wooden chair and the throbbing pain sent shivers down his spine.

Too sensitive.

The fabric against his skin brushed roughly in the same manner as Sylvia’s touch as he bent down to take a seat, pressing his bottom slowly on the chair. His jaw clenched upon feeling the sensation vibrating all over his body once more.

Is this the result of Sylvia’s consequence?

…For how long?

Raphael leaned against the backrest of his seat, heaving a deep sigh. Then, his fingers carefully fixed the knot of his tie and creased the edges of his collar.

A faint trace of cherry perfume and vanilla scent wafted into the air after lifting his fingers onto his face as he tidied the fringes.

His brows furrowed.

Great.

I even smell like her.

---

After the afternoon session had ended, the walk towards the dormitory housing seemed endless as Raphael took a step, sending a dull throbbing pain between his legs.

Why is it still aching? It won’t stop . . .

He dragged himself for some time before finally reaching his dorm room and standing right in front of it.

He took a deep breath.

Okay. Act Normal.

Just say you’re tired and then take a shower.

Then, he slowly twisted the doorknob, swinging the door open.

When Raphael entered the room, the same vibes greeted him as usual. The delicate lighting of the fairy lights illuminated the room in a warm and comfortable atmosphere, while a soft hum filled the room.

Harian was sitting at the edge of his bunker, fiddling with his phone. His eyes glanced up and slowly beamed after seeing him.

“Raphael! Welcome back!” he greeted ecstatically.

Raphael flinched, averting his gaze from him. “Ah, H-hey, Harian.”

He stuttered.

The beating of his heart thumped rapidly against his chest.

He didn’t look.

He didn’t want him to notice.

“Mmm… Just here to check on you. Everything good?” Harian pouted his lips as he tilted his head to the side while dangling his legs over his bed.

Raphael set his things down quickly. Then, he paused, pressing both hands on the desk, breathing shakily.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

He lied once again, forcing a smile on his cheeks as he glanced up. Harian’s golden irises stared deeply into his eyes, a touch of worry and wonder in his expression.

Raphael looked away, biting his lower lip.

I-I can’t tell him.

While filling his basket with bathing essentials and towels, he reached for a bottle at the farther end, leaning forward. Once his hips pressed against the edge of the desk, a sharp throbbing shot through his groin, forcing him to grit his teeth.

“Hm? You are surely in a hurry.” Harian blinked, rubbing his chin. “Heading somewhere?”

“Just gonna . . . hit the showers,” Raphael stuttered, nodding his head slowly with a stifled groan.

He held the basket on his arm as he moved carefully towards the door, still dragging his feet. He stopped for a moment, turning his head slightly towards Harian with a pained smile.

“See ya.”

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Harian nodded his head, cheerfully beaming up.

“Okay~”

The moment Raphael stepped out of the room, shutting the door right behind him. The fairy lights flickered once.

Harian was left there, still sitting over the edge of the bed. His fingers clenched onto the covers.

He smiled . . .

A fake smile.

The warm smile on his face slowly faded as he swallowed a lump in his throat.

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Raphael…. Were you lying because of me?

I’m sorry that I ditched you today.

You must be mad at me, right?