I’m My Own High School Rival A Gangster Reborn as a Boy in a Matriarchal Clan World

Christina's Arc: Bend or Break

I lost track of time after the third hour, lying on Antwon's bed with my eyes closed.

I was sure he was asleep, but he had not touched me beyond a hug. Perhaps there were conditions I hadn't met yet, or maybe I needed to initiate somehow. I could always rub down there. Cause a little basement thunder to wake him up, but that would violate the contract.

If he had not explicitly put my hand there or said he wanted it, then I couldn't do it. Maybe I should move my body closer to his. Fuck, maybe naked sleeping was what got me one foot in the door.

I squirmed a little and shook off some tension, but not enough to quell my thoughts.

Maybe that shit with Sakura had really gotten to him. I didn't think it was that serious, or that he was that emotionally invested in her. Maybe a week here was a bad idea.

Antwon's body started to shift.

Finally, some action.

He rolled away from me and took the only comfort he gave me. The only comfort I had.

You selfish little asshole! You do strange shit to me every other day and night in your sleep, and now you want to drop the charade, Antwon. I've offered you relief daily! I've even suffered by going without my servants, so the least you can do is accidentally touch me in your sleep…unless…

I slowly opened my eyes and made out Antwon's shape in the faint light that shone through the window. He had turned away from me, which was unusual. I scooted toward him.

Once I was close enough, I whispered.

"Antwon, are you asleep?"

I waited for a response. Maybe I was wrong, and he was actually asleep, and I had lost appeal somehow. But then he rolled over, facing me. A sliver of light shone off his half-opened green eyes, sending chills down my spine.

The goddesses made you right for me, Antwon Carter. I know it.

"I'm awake, Christina," he whispered.

I moved my hand just under his chin, but didn't touch him.

"Is there a reason, hani? Bad dreams, or are you still angry with your sister? I will always be here for you, so tell me anything."

He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Oh, then maybe you can tell me about when you—when you went out for a few days."

"You mean when I ran away?"

I winced.

"I guess I can do that, Christina. It's not like you can change the past, or anything."

I would if I could.

"I took the first bus out of here, because…I didn't want you to take me away from everyone I love to be your joy toy."

…

"Then I sat on a bus filled with—"

I placed my finger to his lips.

"Antwon, if I wanted a joy toy, there would be no ceremony, and the world would never know. But, please continue."

"S-sure. Um, I was on the bus when I first ran into Shizuka, but I didn't know it at the time. I just thought Shizuka was a nice lady who didn't want the other women to bother me. She also fed me."

I looked down at the space where the sheets ended and Antwon began.

"The way I fed you?" I asked, every word becoming a whisper.

"No. I mean, she gave me food, and I ate it with my own hands. Anyway, I ran into a bunch of guys eating breakfast at this shady restaurant, so I figured it was friendly enough to eat at. What I didn't know was that a woman from the den I robbed was acting as a chaperone."

As interesting as this sounds, I only wanted to know about him being trapped with that woman. Then again, Rika told me that he escaped with a woman.

"…That's when I told them to steal the money if they weren't happy, and after a few minutes of bouncing ideas off of each other, we had a plan."

"Okay, you robbed the place, but how did you get out?"

…

He stopped talking and stared at me with eyes wide open.

"You—promise you won't get mad, or transform into a dragon and burn my life down?"

I clenched my jaw and mouthed the word promise.

"Not good enough, Christina," Antwon whispered, and then the little shit started to turn away. I took him by his pajamas and turned him back toward me.

"I promise," I mumbled.

"I escaped because a woman named Kami helped me—"

"What an obnoxious fucking woman, naming herself Kami."

He finally acknowledged me and touched my hand.

"I need you to calm down, Christina, or I won't be able to spin my yarn. Besides, what does it mean?"

So, the cunt he ran away with thinks herself a god. Well, I'll have to change her self-perception once I find her.

"It's nothing, hani. Your little friend thinks she is a god."

"Oh. Well, she got me out of that den, fed me shitty salmon, and dumped me at a bus stop. So, what kind of god does that make her, the god of misfortune?"

Well, that's good. He thinks she's a shitty person.

…

"No, Christina, she didn't touch me."

Thank the divines!

"I wasn't going to ask that because I trust you, hani. What happened next?"

"Um, nothing major. A few guys hit me on the bus for cursing, and—"

I grabbed him by the chin, which startled him.

"Do you remember their names or faces?"

…

"No, so chill out, Christina," Antwon said, and then he moved my hand from his chin.

"Well, then what happened?"

"Well, Christina, what happened next is, I went to sleep before I added any more names to your hit list."

Falling asleep before adding names to my hit list is such a strange thing to do if he was running away from me…but at least he was thinking about me.

"Then what?"

"Good night, Christina."

"W-wait! Tell me their names, so I can bring them to you daily. This way, you know I haven't killed them."

Antwon smiled and then chuckled.

"Antwon, I'm being serious," I said, pouting.

He lifted the blankets and scooted closer to me. Our bodies touched, but through pajamas, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Good night, Christina."

I buried my face in his shirt and breathed in his scent.

I wasn't done with your story, you warm asshole. What happened between you and that boy-killing bitch? Why am I subjecting myself to this shit, when I could just—

His arms relaxed, and our pillow gave way to his head's full weight. His lips slightly parted like a quiet kiss made for my lips.

Shit, I'm still frustrated.

***

I leaned against the wall by Antwon's door in the dark because I wanted to accept his apology. I knew my words would wrap around him like a bandage lined with razors, so I decided to sneak in while he was awake and tell him. To my surprise, Christina was awake, too.

I knew he ran away because of Christina's claim, but the things he had done weren't things my brother would have done. He was too sweet and shy to steal. But then he cries when I take my comfort away, so who the hell is he, and why does he keep making me suffer?

But he's changing Christina Tetsusen. I didn't know her when she was a teenager, but adult Christina told me stories about how she terrorized so many lives after the Court's decline.

I pressed my back against the wall and slowly worked my way to my feet.

Is my idiot really softening you? Would leaving him with you change our fate? Would you care if it erased the child you loved so much?

Silently, I made my way back to my room with more questions than I could answer, but I could always ask Jenie again.

The floor creaked. I didn't overreact. One of Christina's guards stood completely still, but she was different. She didn't quite have Yua's playful spirit or Tetsuzaki's fiery spirit. Her hair was in a strange ponytail thing that I'd never seen.

She silently beckoned me toward her, so I followed, stepping gently.

***

Once we were outside, she yawned, which was unprofessional of her. I mean, she even wiped her eyes as if working the late shift wasn't in her contract.

"Dang, kid. Why are you awake, eavesdropping, and whatnot?" she said, showing clear signs of being tired.

"Um, who are you?" I asked.

"Oh. Oh, you mean they didn't tell you that your residence would be guarded by the Court? Well, I'm Natsuki Shiranui, Captain of Christina Tetsusen's royal guard detail."

I scratched my head. I knew there would be guards because Christina can't go anywhere without her babysitters, for good reason.

"Oh, I knew you guys would be here, but I didn't think there were so many of you."

"Okay, that's good. Say, do you have any more food?"

…

"Y-yeah, but why would you drag me outside if the kitchen was on the way out?"

She gently lifted her right fist and set it in the palm of her left hand.

"Drats. You're right. Let's go back inside, then."

Something wasn't right. She's a royal guard, one of the Court's most dangerous warriors. So, why did she seem more lost than I was? Tetsuzaki's threat!

I didn't move. Her hand rested on her blade's handle now.

If she wanted to kill me, it would be easier to clean up outside.

My heart pounded.

"Hey, what's going on? If you don't want to share your food, I won't be mad…maybe a little," she whined, showing just how much a little was with her fingers.

"I-I don't know. I'm sure no one would mind—I mean, we have plenty of leftovers." I lost control of my breathing, but why? "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything. For making fun of Antwon, for eavesdropping, for noticing…"

"Noticing what?"

Her eyes were empty of every emotion other than confusion.

"Noticing that you lured me outside," I whispered, and then the door opened behind me. Chills ran up my spine.

…

"Shiranui?" Yua's voice cut through my panic. "What the hell are you doing, Captain? Did you need something?"

She smiled, cocked her head, and placed her hands together.

"I was hungry, so I came by to get more food."

"Oh, okay. Sakura, can you go fix my captain a plate? I need to talk with Captain Shiranui for a moment."

A hand touched my shoulder, and my body stopped responding to me. Yua rocked me back and forth. I felt like paper swaying in the wind.

"Welp, Natsuki Shiranui, you scared her shitless," Yua chuckled.

"I didn't do anything, Kurogane. I just wanted some more food."