Chapter Sixty-Three What You Get When You Win.
I'm My Own High School Rival: Rika's Arc.
“Look at you,” she cooed softly into my ear as warm breath edged me forward. “If eyes could maim, that man would be a bloody mess.” She traced the rim of my ear with her lips, blurring lines. My body shivered in response.
My shallow breaths steadied me as a familiar tension crept into my hands. She draped her arm around my neck, gently holding my jaw. “Tell me why you want him dead, Cross. Maybe I can help.” I begrudgingly turned, looking her in the eyes.
But I couldn’t see her; only power-drunk reflections of myself, fading in and out of consciousness. “We could kill him together.”
I gently pushed her face away from mine as I softly nibbled the tips of my fingers.
Leaning forward, closer to the floorboy, I thought of the easiest way to… “Hey… buddy.”
“Oh, what’s up, Cross?”
“Do me a favor and move to the front of the bus.” He cocked his head, slightly leaning forward. “My lady friend and I want to…” I coughed.
“Oh… OH! the rose in his cheeks said more than his shock. “I’ll…keep the driver distracted.”
He stood up and moved to an empty seat behind the driver, next to a sleeping woman.
I sat back in my seat, taking deep breaths as uncertainty filled my chest, for I could feel her watching me as if I did something wrong.
The bus gently rocked, and I shared an eerie silence.
“I’m disappointed, Cross.” I focused on the front of the bus and on the floorboy.
She gently stroked the side of my face. “Tell me, why did you want to hurt him?”
I gritted my teeth, holding my gaze.
“Okay, let’s turn this into a game.”
What can I do; what’s my next move?
“I’ll start listing off reasons why I’d kill him, and you tell me if I’m correct by reacting. If you react, you win. But if you don’t, I win. Cross, I always win.”
T-that doesn’t make any sense.
I turned slightly, catching her warm, dubious smile. “Why are you doing this, and why didn’t you kill me in the alley? Aren’t you scared that you’re going to get caught if you…”
“Did he… betray you?”
My body tensed up.
What does she get if I lose? She didn’t explain anything…
Curious fingers traced the stitches of my shirt. “No, that can’t be it. Were you lovers?”
What could she do on a bus with other people?
“I’m running out of questions, which means I’m going to lose.” She brought our faces closer, brushing our cheeks. “If I lose, you both die,” she whispered.
I didn’t feel anything.
Saving someone else is what got me into this situation…
I brought my hands up, holding her face to mine. “What do I get when I win?” I said, without fear, panic, or conviction.
She pulled away, holding me at a distance as we shared an awkwardly silent breath too far to evoke a kiss, but close enough to consider it.
I still held her face with both hands, but now she held me with unreassuring eyes. Reaching up, she gently grazed my chin.
“I honestly don’t know. No one’s ever asked anything of me,” she said, smiling as if none of this was real. “Unless you count begging for your life.”
The bus rocked beneath us.
I turned to the floor, needing a moment to consider the push-pull dynamic missing from this paradigm. She started humming a strange tune and marching her feet in place. Her running shoes didn’t look new; rather, they were old.
I looked around for my bag of money, sliding my foot underneath the chair in front of me to see if she had stashed it there, but she hadn’t.
The floor beneath our feet was clean.
Looking up, I smiled because I finally understood.
Hugging her tightly, I asked, “Are you hungry?”
***
“Sakura, I could hear you crying from down the hall… are you in pain?” Dante asked, as I stared at the cellphone lying beside me.
“I’m…fine,” I eked out. Again, I squeezed Antwon’s tear-drenched pillow in a room vacant of life. I wouldn’t have wished for him if I knew he would be taken from me in the end.
“O-okay…”
I felt the rush of air from a closing door. “Dad, do… You think he’s okay?”
The rain steadied out.
“Y-yes. I know my son, and he’s capable, even on his own, but you should get some sleep, Sakura.”
“Do you blame me… like Mom does?”
I listened for his bitter response, but only heard silence.
The bed sank under unexpected weight, and a hand gently stroked and brushed hair out of my face, drawing my attention.
”He loved you so much, Sakura,” he said with gentle tears falling into my hair. “Antwon would never blame you, so I won’t either.”
A sudden pain gripped my chest, and breathing was hard. “D-dad,” I bit into the pillow, but it wasn’t enough.
The screen of my phone illuminated.
Maybe the Court found…his body. No. Maybe they found him.
I lifted the phone, praying for an answer.
I sighed. “W-what do you want, Jenie? I don’t feel like—“
”Kai was attacked by the knife killer.”
I popped up; my father gasped. “Shit, Jenie,” I wiped the tears out of my eyes. “Is he okay? I mean, he’s alive, right?”
”Sakura, stop talking.”
I took deep breaths, leveling myself. Dad’s eyes studied me.
“Kai was hurt, but he survived the attack… He said that Antwon stopped her.”
“J… J…” I can’t speak. I wiped sweat from my forehead, but it isn’t hot. “W-w” Say the fucking words!
”Sakura… Antwon’s gone.”
Tears ran down my face as I released a sound I’ve never made in this life. My father, Antwon’s dad, started crying with me as footsteps raced toward me.
“W-what’s going on?” Mom’s voice rang out, but I had buried my face in Dad’s shirt.
“Oh, no. No. It hasn’t been a full day… How could they not…” Mom said in a low voice. She walked over and hugged us both.
Every wish I’ve made in my life has failed. Now, every hug we shared feels like a dream… I forgot to thank Jenie for.
I picked up my phone. “Thanks, Jenie for—”
“Stop talking, Sakura, and fully process—”
“Don’t be rude! You’ve done…a great service by… by—”
“Shut up, Sakura!”
I stared at my phone.
“They checked the alley where the incident transpired. They found a bag filled with male clothing, another filled with money, and Kai’s blood at the crime scene… but no Antwon.”
I placed my hand over my mouth. “T-they didn’t find him?”
“No, but he prevented Kai’s death; for that, he has my gratitude.”
“But Kai?”
“Kai said that Antwon threw something and then tackled her off him. Once free, Antwon told him to run, and he remained with Kai’s assailant.”
“Wait,” I said, breathing heavy. “Why did he have a bag filled with money?”
***
After I asked about food, she assumed that I was hungry. We got off the bus, sparing the floorboy. But why feed me?
I bit into a loaf of sweet bread at a bus stop outside of a gas station in the cool night air. Brushing my frizzy hair out of my face, I stared across the street at the strangely isolated houses. But was this still Yamanashi? If Sakura had let me explore, just a bit, I’d know enough about where I lived.
She reached over, brushing the crumbs from my face with the care and grace of a mother.
I dragged my eyes to my captor. She didn’t smile or frown, just looked at me with empty eyes.
Her hand lowered, and she grabbed the wrist of my hand holding the bread, raising it to my mouth. I took another bite, and we continued staring at each other in the empty silence of some place that might have been Yamanashi.
I cocked my head and considered so many possibilities, and she, strangely enough, did the same. I fought the urge to grit and scream.
I listened as the sound of a car came and went, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. She hadn’t blinked since she had caught my attention. My chewing slowed because as long as I chewed, my teeth wouldn’t rattle.
I looked down, breaking eye contact for the first time, looking at the sweet bread.
She scooted closer to me.
I looked up, lifting the bread, holding it to her face. Her hands were in a position that made me worry, but she held my face instead. But she noticed the sweet bread, taking a large bite before giving me all of her attention. Her hands felt warm as her thumbs brushed my eyes, causing me to panic whenever they closed.
“You were more talkative this morning on the way to Gifu,” she said, chewing the sweet bread. “Did you ever find your big sister? Oh, wow; this is yummy, right?” she said with a smile that looked practiced.
Her thumbs settled to the sides of my face, waiting for my answer. I swallowed the mush of bread and sugar as messy lumps went down my throat. My eyes shook as I tried to hold them in place.
“I… I don’t have,” a flash of teeth and subtle lip quiver. “Shit.”
Her eyes narrowed.
She raised her right hand from my face, and I diligently watched it between shallow breaths. Holding it between both of us, she popped me in the mouth, causing my head to jerk back, as my free hand raced to my mouth.
“What the s… You don’t have any right to discipline me for saying bad shit… Shit!”
She softly pulled at the hand covering my mouth, and I let her peel it away, knowing she was going to hit me again.
She distanced her hand again.
My right eye twitched, and I braced myself.
She traced the tips of her fingers with her thumb.
My eyes watered.
“If you’re going to—”
She popped me, causing me to drop the bread as I checked for blood.
“It isn’t kind when boys curse.”
I stood up with two clenched fists. Heat rolled off my body as tears hit the ground.
I’d have killed her if she were a man. Killing her in the alley would have saved me so much time. Having a creed to spare women is stupid—
She pulled me back to the bench and into her embrace, and I was reminded of my age as I screamed into her brown shirt.
“There, there,“ she said, removing the scrunchy holding my hair. “You’re just tired. So, let’s find a place to sleep.”