Chapter 78: The Giant Who Apologized for Existing
Freya had already gone down to the lower floor, having left behind the hair dryer, the rune and Anubia, and she laid her hand against a stretch of wall right beside the two servants’ quarters.
"System, build a Burrow Complex here, please."
[ Spend 750 mana points to designate the construction site for the Burrow Complex? ]
"Yes!"
The word had barely left her mouth before a mist rose in front of her, made of Quantimana in dozens of different colors flowing in from every direction in tight filaments, gradually thickening before setting all at once into raw materials, stone, timber and earth appearing one after another all around the chamber.
So the Heart’s mana reaches all the way here? That’s the first time I’ve seen it move that fast too, it was practically instantaneous! Then again, I suppose that’s normal for a cosmic entity, or whatever it is exactly!
The area turned out to be far larger than the residents’ quarter, whether in length, width or even height, and Freya already knew it would house a great many future Mycofoxes, which she promptly confirmed by pressing straight on.
"System, summon eight Worker Mycofoxes, eight Soldier Mycofoxes and the three Nurse Mycofoxes, please!"
[ Summon x8 Worker Mycofox, x8 Soldier Mycofox and x3 Nurse Mycofox for 720 mana points? ]
"Yay~!"
The same cloud of colors formed in front of her once again, except this one carried a few golden filaments woven into the rest before dissolving completely into it, which she immediately understood to be the knowledge granted to Mycofoxes upon summoning, and then the mist and the Quantimana contracted at once to bring them all into being together.
The sixteen usual Mycofoxes first, exactly as she knew them, then the three new ones she had never seen before, who stood upright in perfectly fitted little white coats with a surgical mask pulled up over the muzzle, leaving only two large round attentive eyes showing, while their mushroom bore a milky white hue crossed by a fine pale pink cross at its center.
Freya found herself surrounded by Mycofoxes she knew were all female, every one of them as adorable as the next, and she couldn’t stop herself from dropping to the floor with her arms spread wide to gather every last one of them against her in a single sweep.
"Aaaah~ My babieees~ You’re all far too cute, it should be illegal!"
"Kyu!"
"Kyu kyu~!"
One of the Soldiers, who had hung back slightly, was staring at her without moving a muscle, which of course did not escape her notice.
"What? Are you jealous?!"
She scooped him up in both arms and pressed him in with the others before he had a chance to protest.
"Don’t worry, mama doesn’t play favorites! Come here, my darling girls~~!"
"Kyu!!"
And after what felt like an eternity of maternal affection far too overwhelming for a group of Mycofoxes who had asked nothing of anyone, she finally whistled as she got back to her feet, which immediately drew shadows together around her feet, accompanied by a few Quantimana of a very dark grey turning slowly around the silhouette that emerged from them.
"Roku, I’ll leave the rest to you, show the new ones around the dungeon, good luck~! Go find Naïa if you need help."
He answered with a perfectly disciplined "Kyu!" before leading the group away, and she watched him for a moment, addressing the others with sweeping gestures while letting out a series of clearly explanatory "kyuu"s to which all of them nodded with the utmost seriousness.
Delegating really is the way~!
She then placed her hand in front of the Mycofox housing plan.
"System, build the Nursery, please."
[ Spend 1,000 mana points to designate the construction site for the Nursery? ]
"Yes!"
Like any good sovereign, she had decided to build the Nursery right beside the housing, thereby ensuring the shortest possible walk for any poor Mycofox about to give birth, wanting to make their lives as easy as she could, and pleased with what she’d accomplished so far, she didn’t stop there but summoned three additional Dungeon Farms alongside the two existing ones, bringing her dungeon up to five for the utterly ridiculous sum of one hundred and five mana points.
I really do miss the early buildings, honestly, with prices like that.
Then she made her way over to one of the mines, wanting to group everything production-related into a single sector of the dungeon, and placed the wood generator there, having thought long and hard about which one to build first before concluding it made absolutely no difference given that she still had reserves of both resources, meager though they were, and that she’d be building the other generator very soon regardless.
Naturally, she took the time on each occasion to observe that instantaneous Quantimana phenomenon and to try to understand how it worked, or at least to get some grasp of it, which failed completely every single time.
Ah well, that’s how it is! I’ve got time~!
And so, walking through the dungeon intending to retrieve the day’s pull and then show the girls, she ran into Mei coming up the corridor the other way, who stopped dead at the sight of her, folded her hands in front of her and immediately dropped her eyes to the floor.
"Oh? You’re not with the girls?"
"Uhhh... I-I-I wanted to sculpt... a bit!"
Is this her outlet? The passion that lets her recover from all that constant socializing in the dungeon? Maybe being surrounded all the time genuinely wears on her? Have I been far too careless where she’s concerned since she arrived?
"M-madam...?"
"Ah yes, sorry! I was lost in thought there for a second."
She scratched the back of her head with an awkward little smile before continuing.
"But tell me, Mei, the girls haven’t been bothering you since last time, have they?"
"N-no... they’re even kind to..."
She stopped for a moment, hesitant, her fingers pressing tightly against one another, and Freya noticed she had drawn her shoulders in slightly, as though simply finishing the sentence required an effort beyond her.
"...me."
That last word came out so quietly it nearly got lost in the corridor.
Maybe it isn’t just shyness after all. Maybe there’s something more underneath.
"That’s good to hear, then!"
Freya smiled warmly and patted her arm twice, which was enough to make the giant flinch, then she sat down directly on the corridor floor and patted the space right beside her.
"How about we chat about nothing in particular, just us girls? We haven’t had the chance since you arrived! It would make me extremely happy~!"
"Y-yes, I’d like that too!"
Mei looked at the spot Freya had just indicated, hesitant, not about talking but about ending up that close to another person, and to Freya of all people.
"Come on, I’m not going to bite."
She nodded shyly before sitting down beside her, leaving a cautious gap between their bodies all the same, and Freya noticed the giant had drawn her legs up against herself, as though instinctively trying to take up as little space as possible in a corridor that was easily wide enough for three.
She does this all the time, actually. I always just took it for simple shyness and never thought much more of it.
So, wanting to break the silence, Freya decided that talking about her own experience might not be such a bad idea.
"You know, back in my old world I had trouble with crowded places too."
"Y-you...?"
"Well yes, and I told you as much last time, didn’t I?"
"Y-yes, but I thought you just wanted to be... kind and com-compassionate."
"Ihihih, do you take me for a liar?"
"How would I dare!" she exclaimed all at once, without a trace of shyness in her voice, and Freya watched her straighten up fully for the first time since their conversation had begun. "After all, you’re the first—"
She stopped dead, visibly realizing something, and brought both hands to her mouth.
"The first?" Freya asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Uh... uh... I... uh..."
Mei was starting to panic far too much, trembling even more than usual, her gaze darting everywhere except toward Freya, and her hands had begun twisting the fabric of her dress with enough force to threaten tearing it.
So Freya didn’t wait any longer and simply placed a hand on her shoulder, a smile on her lips.
"It’s all right, Mei... you don’t have to say any more if it weighs on you, okay? We’re a family now, after all. You’re perfectly entitled to refuse me things."
The giant slowly raised her eyes toward her, and there was something terribly fragile in them, before she eventually recovered a little of her composure and nodded.
"Besides, despite your size, you’re still a child, so—"
She was cut off, much to her surprise, by Mei herself.
"Y-you’re mistaken, madam! I-I’m not a child! I’m already ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD!"
She had declared this with her usual blend of shyness and outburst, and Freya’s mind simply stopped, because those words had been every bit as effective as Aria’s ice cube, perhaps even as her kiss, and after all, how could anyone not be utterly stunned by a giant with a teenager’s face announcing that out of nowhere?
The roles reversed, and Freya started speaking still full of shock, which set her stammering in turn.
"Y-y-y-you’re-you’re joking?"
"No... you see, I’m half oni, half human."
"What?!"
Freya grabbed Mei by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes, eyes that immediately began to tremble at the contact as they filled with the beginnings of tears, while her whole body went rigid at once, eyelids shut and head pulled down between her shoulders, exactly like someone bracing for a blow.
Freya let go immediately, understanding what she had just triggered, cleared her throat, then sat back down calmly beside her with her hands left clearly visible on her own knees.
"I’m sorry, Mei. Truly. I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that."
"I-it’s nothing... it’s me who..."
"No. It isn’t you."
She realized then that she had never truly taken the time to get to know Mei. The others always ended up asserting themselves, making conversation easy, while Mei never did. And Freya had simply never thought to be the one to reach out to her.
One hundred and eighty-seven years... How long did she endure things for that reflex to be this deeply ingrained? And why doesn’t she have it in front of enemies, or in her fights?
Aaaah... what a poor summoner I make...
But she also knew it wasn’t too late, and that this was in fact precisely the right moment to start.
"Would you like to tell me a bit about yourself, about your story, and about anything that would do you good to say? To open up to me a little, in a way."
At those words, the giant broke into an absolutely beautiful smile, squeezing her eyes shut so hard that the gathering tears flew off into the air like something out of an anime, all while nodding vigorously, which warmed Freya’s heart to see.
So Mei opened up, talking about nothing in particular at first, about the dishes she liked, about the things she found beautiful, while Freya asked her all sorts of questions and the hours slipped by without either of them noticing.
She explained that she had started sculpting to occupy her mind at first, to escape, something she didn’t state outright but which Freya understood perfectly, before adding that over time it had become far more than that, a genuine passion, a way of communicating other than through words, and above all a way of taking part herself.
And bit by bit, Mei had started asking questions of her own, tiny ones at first and always preceded by an "i-if it isn’t too personal," then increasingly natural ones, and Freya took up every single one of them with a light heart, answering everything without ever dodging.
Then Freya, sensing it was the right moment, tried asking.
"Do you want to tell me about what weighs on you so much? It would mean a lot to me to be able to carry it with you."
And there it was, she felt the atmosphere shift all at once, the joy leaving Mei’s eyes and giving way to something far sadder, her hands instinctively returning to press against one another on her knees.
"You see..." Mei drew a long breath before continuing. "I was born to an oni mother and a human father... which is why I have no horn on my forehead."
She raised a hand to it as she said this, her thumb lingering a moment on the exact spot where one should have been.
"I had a good life with my parents all the same, before the war between humans and demons started, back when I was still a child."
A faint smile crossed her face at the memory, before vanishing at once.
"My parents died in it, leaving me alone, and I eventually joined the clan."
Her breathing grew shorter as she went on.
"Unfortunately, demons don’t much care for h-h-h-half—"
Freya gently slid her hand over Mei’s, without squeezing, simply leaving it there.
"Take your time, Mei. We have all the time in the world."
Mei looked down at that hand resting on hers, stared at it for a long moment without moving, and Freya felt her trembling beneath her fingers before the giant slowly turned her own hand over to take hold of it.
The tears came anyway, but she forced herself to continue.
"I was a half-blood... sniff... sniff... they treated me like less than nothing..."
Her voice broke entirely.
"They told me I was a mistake. That my parents had done something filthy. That I shouldn’t even... shouldn’t even be allowed to sleep under the same roof..."
She gripped Freya’s hand tighter without even realizing it.
"So I... I learned not to be a bother. Not to speak too loudly, not to take up space, to... to apologize for existing, really. And-and-and—"
Freya, unable to bear it any longer, started crying as well and pulled her into her arms, gently this time, giving her every chance to push her away if she wanted to.
Mei didn’t push her away. She collapsed against her.
"That’s over now. It’s finished, Mei."
Freya slowly stroked her back.
"You never have to apologize for existing again. Not here. You can speak as loudly as you want, take up as much space as you want, you can even break the walls if you feel like it, nobody will hold it against you."
She tightened her hold.
"And above all, listen to me carefully. Nobody in this dungeon will ever judge you for what you are. Because here, we don’t love you in spite of it. We love you for it."
"That’s exactly what-what-what..."
She seemed to hesitate a moment before going on.
"...what she said to me... BWAAAAAAH! I’m so happy to be with you, madam! Bwaaaaah..."
And because she didn’t want Mei to feel alone after opening up that much, Freya began talking in turn, about her own former life.
She talked about the silence of those years, the meals eaten standing over a sink, and the way she had convinced herself for a very long time that everything was perfectly fine.
And so the two women cried together on the cold stone floor of a corridor, held against one another, opening up a little more with every painful memory they shared.
After a while, their tears finally dried up, leaving both women with swollen, red eyes and noses that had gone almost as red as their cheeks.
Freya sniffled and glanced sideways at Mei.
"...We look terrible."
"Y-you do, madam!"
"Excuse me?!"
Mei covered her mouth, and at the sight, Freya couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, soon joined by Mei herself. The two girls ended up giggling together, sharing a quiet, knowing laugh as their hearts felt a little lighter.
Once they had calmed down, they took a full tour of the dungeon, laughing together about all sorts of nothing, and Freya noticed along the way that Mei barely stammered around her anymore, so much so that she showed her the day’s pull, the famous hair dryer, and the two of them, thoroughly delighted by the thing, promised each other they’d use it together very soon.
But that conversation, on top of having opened hearts, had also opened a certain number of questions in Freya’s mind.
So all her summons were demons? Why had she called her "the first" before falling silent so suddenly? And who was this person who had spoken the exact same words she just had?
She didn’t ask them, of course, not wanting to push Mei any further than she already had, and simply enjoying this unforgettable, happy moment with her.
