7 Deadly Instincts (The Sinfire Chronicles Book 1)

Gray was surprised when they left First Field behind. They were following a Fieldkeeper known for being to run long distances, running in six groups of three. Their various injuries had been healed and now they were tromping along in their boots, traveling through the Pit City Market until they reached the Main Port Road which eventually led to Pubis Port on the Great Sea.

Another Fieldkeeper trailed them, though still others joined them here and there, some with horses who had ridden ahead. It was going to be hours and hours of running—and the longer they went, the longer the run would become because they would have to turn around and endure the return to First Field.

A few spectator stood out on the street near braziers filled with lust rocks to cheer them on. A few leaned out of windows and Gray saw at least one pair of breasts from a woman who seemed to a be a fan of Squad 23 specifically.

“Here’s a little something to help you with your lust resonance!” she shrieked drunkenly.

It made Lilian laugh, and it sounded like she might not never stop for a second. It was maniacal.

Reaching the Main Port Road, they turned north and crossed the Ashblood River, sometimes called the Eastblood, which traversed the length of Pity City and was the same river that Gray had stood in for long hours during Soulshred Week.

They all head their warm clothes on, including their gloves, and some even had scarves to cover their faces. Of course, all their hoods were down to cover their heads.

Eighteen recruits and at least three Fieldkeepers, all trudging along.

Lilian had gone silent after laughing, and Gray could see something was going on in her core. Blood-red mana was swirling around inside of her. More than that, he could feel her emotions slipping.

Ames, of course, was fine—she had grown up being tortured. A little running wouldn’t affect her any. She was also in peak physical condition after all the training, which included a ton of running. She had the body for it, long, lean, and strong. She was out in front, seemingly tireless.

Gray dropped back to run side-by-side with Lilian as the market soon turned into the northern slums—the worst parts of town where the poor were packed into stone hovels made of crumbling rock stolen from other parts of the city.

And Gray had thought the market was rough. He’d rarely come out this way.

The dwarves were trailing everyone, and he heard one of the Fieldkeepers cry out in a rough voice, “Keep up the pace, recruit, or your Redemption Midnight is over.”

“I’m trying,” gasped the big scarred dwarven woman. “But some folk are not made for running!”

That made the Fieldkeeper laugh. “Not my problem. Stop running, and you’re out. Fall too far behind, and you’re out.”

Kain Darkstone barked, “She’s fine, aren’t you, Ethel?”

“Fine enough,” Kain she said. “Just trying to get my wind.”

“You’ll get it. You’ll get it. Just breathe, focus on keeping your feet moving, and we’ll get through this all right.”

Lilian sighed next to him.

“Are you okay?” Gray asked.

She snorted. “Am I okay? Like you care. You just can’t have me fuck up your game or your precious Ames won’t be able to play. You don’t care.”

“Fine. Maybe I don’t. But what about you, Lilian? You want to keep playing. It’s why you’re here.”

“No,” she shot back. “I’m here for magic. I just didn’t…those things that came after us.”

“The demons?”

“The demons,” she whispered. “I only wanted the good parts of magic. I guess those are the bad. When I first saw them, it was…I was…horrified. I’ve never been so scared. I’ve seen things skulking outside of Sunreach, but I trusted the captain’s warding. Back at the coliseum, though, there was nothing stopping them from killing me.”

“Except Ames,” he pointed out. “And me. And you. You killed a bunch. I have to say, I’m impressed.”

She turned to him, a little hope in her eyes. “Impressed?”

“Yes, Lil. I had no idea you could fight so well. I never took the Wind Dance seriously…no one in the arena did. We thought it was silly. We were wrong.”

“Most men are,” she said bitterly. “Swaggering around, thinking they are so tough, when…when the real strength is inside.”

“Self-mastery,” he said.

She laughed. “There it is. Your mantra. The only thing you care about in this world, and it has nothing to do with me, or your wives, or anything. Just you, Grayson Fade, you and your self-mastery. It was tiresome. Still is.”

“Maybe,” he said with a chuckle, not letting her despair touch his spirit. “But it’s going to be a long night of running, and I’ll have to keep myself going, and you will too. I would think self-mastery would help.”

“But…”

Ames turned around to throw Lilian a mean look that silenced her.

The princess remained quiet until they reached the crumbling north wall of the city. They’d been running for an hour which meant that even if they turned around, they’d have to run the hour back.

A wind had come up, blowing in from the north, which meant they had to run with their hoods down.

It was just outside of the city limits that they stopped at a couple of carts there were was seom nuts, berries, and ironbites as well as water.

Lilian winced. “Do they really expect us to eat those dreadful muffins? They hurt my tummy so much.”

Ames ignored her complaining as she got a metal cup of water and an ironbite and wandered a bit off the road.

All the squads were clustered together, talking in low voices.

Stopping was dangerous because their muscles would cramp if they didn’t keep warm. Also, they’d been sweating during the room, so if they stopped for too long, they’d catch a chill.

Lilian got her own little plate and cup and drifted over to Gray. “Why does she hate me?”

Three words immediately came to mind—weak, empty, and dangerous. But Gray didn’t say them. He needed Lilian’s head to be in a good place or she might quit. Already, he was surprised she’d lasted as long as she had.

Lilian turned away from him and took a bite of her muffin.

He went to her. “Don’t eat all of that. I’ll split it with you. It’s easier for me, but I’ve spent months eating them.”

She turned—the mana mark near her eye was inflamed. “I hate them,” she said softly. “At first, they remind me of home and that’s…that’s hard. I miss the smell of the ocean and the feel of the warm air. I miss my friends, and yes, the servants, and a room I don’t have to clean myself. Fruit. The spike fruit. Remember?”

“Yes,” he said. “How does your mana mark feel?”

“It burns when it’s not hurting, so it’s either burning or hurting, and it’s all difficult.” She closed her eyes and swayed. She was about to go down.

Gray caught her arm. “Easy. Just focus on something. When I was trying to process the ironbites, I’d think of a dream I have…about a place of water and stars. There’s a little island there…”

“And Oma,” Lilian said quietly. “She calls me her little dreamer. I’m in the shack, but the door is closed, and it’s dark. I think there are things in the corner, but I can’t see them. Oma says it’s going to be okay, but I don’t know if I can trust her. A few times, I was able to open the door but then I immediately woke up. The sea and stars do look beautiful. If only I could leave.”

As Gray listened, the back of his neck tingled and soon he was shivering—and it wasn’t from the cold. He felt shocked that they were having the same dream. “I’m on the outside. Sometimes I’ve made it to the island, and few times I as near the door, but I’ve never been inside. There are women in there, laughing.”

“Impossible. It’s impossible.” Tears gleamed in Lilian’s eyes. “Don’t tease me about this. The dreams help me. I want to think Oma is watching over me but the shack is so dark. I can’t see very well. The stars are so much brighter.”

“Because they are the souls of everyone who has ever lived. And in the ocean, there are the bodies of all the dead there. I suppose I should find it unnerving, but somehow, I don’t. It’s just a part of life…living and dying.”

“And sometimes c oming back.” Lilian nodded over at the Quelling elf, who seemed very content to stand there, eating her ironbite and sipping her water. “Why does she hate me so much?”

Gray had hoped to get out of answering that question but that wasn’t meant to be. “Because that letter hurt me. And she is having trouble trusting you. Maybe I’t like ho wyou don’t think you can trust Oma. Maybe I’s similar to that.”

“She thinks I’m dangerous.” The princess looked at Gray with some nameless need in her eyes. “I’m not. I would never hurt you or anyone on the squad. I just want…I just want to fit in.”

“You’re getting along with Pinch,” Gray pointed out.

“Because I think everyone hates her just a bit more than they hate me. And I never call you idiots like she does. Maybe I should start.” The princess laughed, the tears were gone, and she seemed to be feeling better.

It was the wrong time to talk about it, but Gray didn’t see a way out. “No, don’t call us idiots. But you have this thing you do—you seem nice, you say nice things, but then you add a barb…this little bit of cruelty. It’s why Ames finally snapped. Do you even realize you do it?”

Lilian laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But then, Gray, you always could be a bit thick-headed. You didn’t even know I was obsessed with the Wind Dance.”

He moved away from her, shaking his head. She really didn’t know or she pretended not to know but Gray wasn’t going to waste time trying to convince her to be nice. He didn’t know why she was in the shack. Maybe it was a different island. That made him laugh. Yes, Oma probably kept her locked up there, so she wouldn’t bother anyone else.

She stood alone, with half of the ironbite, while Gray joined up with Ames. That’s where he ate the other half while he sipped his water, which was delicious and cold. It wasn’t the stuff they served in the canteen that tasted like a scum-covered pond.

Ames nodded at Lilian. “She doesn’t know.”

“She doesn’t know what?” Gray asked.

“She doesn’t know how to get over it. Well, let’s try. We need her.” Ames marched back over to Lilian.

Gray sighed. These women and their emotions were going to be the death of him.

Ames walked right up to the princess. “Hate weakens you. You are angry, yes, and anger is powerful. It is the Fight Instinct. If you fight us, we will lose. Hasn’t Rynnanatha told you?”

Lilian made a face. “One moment, Ames. I’m trying not to puke. It’s hard to listen when I’m so nauseous. If they try and make us run again, I might make a mess on the road. But thank you for coming to talk to me. I know you don’t like me. It’s fine. I have mixed feelings about you and Rynn and this guy here.”

Ames frowned. “You don’t know.”

Lilian smiled sweetly. “I’m over it. I heard you just now. And you do need me. So let’s just be nice to each other. I remember what you said to me—it was mean. I’m not empty, weak, and dangerous. I can forgive that. Just stop glaring at me.”

“I will if you stop hurting Gray. Or trying to at least. You are trying to hurt him because you are still so angry. Use that anger to keep yourself moving. And we will be running more. Your feet will get hungry.”

Gray had to laugh. He’d forgotten she’d said that when they first starting training together. Back then, Ames had just been the weird dark elf who said the oddest things imageinable. Now, it had all changed.

Lilian grimaced. “Why feet will get hungry?”

“Your legs will as well,” Ames said. “Feed them your anger. You can’t channel the mana into your meridans yet, and neither can Gray. You’ll have to have the right mindset. Because we might be running all the way to Pubis Port and back. And then we know what will happen after. But we can’t think about that. We have to stay in the moment. There is no future and no past. There is only us, together, right now. Can you do that?”

Lilian looked into Ames’s eyes. “Yes. I can. I’m not giving up.”

“Good. But you have to be nice. When you are not nice, I’m going to hurt you.” Ames thought for a moment. “I could hurt you now. It would give me mana. I would like to see you in pain. But that would not help us. Perhaps, if you are mean, I will scream. Every time you use your words to cut, I will scream in pain because it hurts me. It’s not kind. I’d like to think I like kindness more than cruelty, but I don’t know. I simply don’t know anymore.”

“Who even are you?” Lilian asked. “What does that all mean? Come on, Ames, help me understand you. Or maybe you don’t want me to understand you. Maybe Gray doesn’t even get you, but then, he probably only likes you because you’re willing to share him with Rynn.”

Ames screamed in Lilian’s face.

Everyone turned to look.

Lilian backed up. “That’s not helping. What’s wrong with you?”

Ames screamed again.

A Fieldkeeper came over with a cudgel in his fist. The orc growled at them. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Yes!” Ames said loudly. “Our squadmate is trying to hurt us with words. We would like her to be nice, but she can be cruel, which is odd, since she doesn’t get mana from it. She is very angry. You might understand anger.”

“Fine!” Lilian yelled. “I’ll be nice. Just stop screaming. And stop talking. Mr. Fieldkeeper, we’re sorry to disturb you. Just give us minute…”

“No more minutes,” he said. “Rest time is over. We run more. Run all the way to the White Ridges. How far is that? Don’t know. But it’s far. You best keep your breath in your lungs.”

Blonko raged from where he stood with Kabe and Ishnash. “You daft fucking cunts. We could’ve kept on eating and drinking if you hadn’t caused a fuss. But now? We have to run. Fuck!’

And they were soon back on the road—running, running, running, right into the frigid wind. It made running harder and more uncomfortable.

Another hour passed.

While Lilian had started off running by herself, she was soon with Gray, near him, brushing up against him, and though she didn’t talk, Gray knew just his presence was soothing her.

At one point, she stumbled and he caught her.

She gave him a weary smile. “I fell asleep. Do you have any idea how far the White Ridges are?”

“No. But it doesn’t matter. Our life is running.”

Ames joined dropped back to run with them. The threesome ran taking up the entire road, which thankfully, was made of smooth cobblestones. While the road was good, the moon seemed to grow dimmer the farther they went, which made tripping more of an issue.

An hour later, the main Fieldkeeper had them stop. The White Ridges were cliffs on either side of the road made of salt.

There were more carts there with ironbites and water. And that was it.

Gray watched the Fieldkeeper carefully. The main orc talked with others, and then got on a horse and started back toward Pit City.

The other orcs pulled blankets off other horses, and huddled around a little fire, they started by the side of the road.

After getting more food and water, Gray pulled Ames and Lilian over to a small cave in the rock. Well, to call it a cave was generous. It was basically a little alcove, but it was out of the wind.

“We have to sleep now,” he told them. “We don’t know when we’ll get more rest, and besides, it’s only going to get colder. We have to huddle together for warmth.”

Lilian laughed. “I’ll bet you want to cuddle.”

Gray smiled. “I said huddle, but it amounts to about the same thing.”

He got in and found a relatively good place to sit in the back before Ames curled up into his lap.

Lilian watched them, no expression on her face. Maybe there was a bit of fear there, but it was hard to tell. Then, she got in with them, and soon, she was entangled with him and Ames. He felt Ames’s core, sure—they were bonded, but he could also feel the power emananting from Lilian.

His face was near hers with Ames off to the side, but she was looking at them both.

Lilian smiled. “Just like old times. I even have my ruby necklace back. You sure do know how to show a girl a good time, Grayson Fade.”

“Don’t make me scream again,” Ames warned.

Lilian laughed a little. “Please. Don’t. No, just being close to him is odd. And to you. Do we really need to do this?”

“We do,” Gray said. “But we should sleep.”

Like that was going to happen. Being so close to Lilian again was bringing back all sorts of memories. And then there was Ames, who he wanted to kiss, but he couldn’t do it in front of Lilian.

He found himself starting to breath hard as his lust resonance gave him mana.

“Do I smell?” Lilian asked. “I bet I smell. Don’t tease me.”

“I like it,” Ames whispered. “You smell good. And you are so pretty. But inside, there is an…” she let her voice drop.

Lilian giggled. “Inside me there’s just ash and bone and a cold that moans. You don’t need to remind me, Ames. But you’re all honey and heat and everything sweet, right?”

Ames had a goofy grin on her face. “No. Maybe it’s the opposite. But I am feeling a certain heat. Can I kiss Gray in front for you? I want to kiss him, but I’m afraid you’ll get mad.”

Lilian wrinkled her nose. “I don’t care. It’s not like I want to kiss him ever again. Go ahead.”

“Can I, Gray?” Ames asked.

“I guess.”

Ames lifted her head, bent, and slowly pressed her lips against his. Feeling her lips on him, smelling her skin and sweat and trouble, he couldn’t help but get hard. Ames moaned softly and added her tongue to the kiss. He grabbed the back of her head, kissing her and licking her mouth, until both were gasping.

Gray felt her getting mana into her core—was it the kindness of the kissing or the cruelty of forcing Lilian to watch.

And she was watching. The princess was staring at them while they kissed.

Ames then turned to Lilian. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

“No,” the princess said in a husky voice. “But seeing you two kissing certainly has me, um, in a state. “Gray was always such a good kisser. He got me so hot, so many times. We had such a nice time together. It was why it was so hard when it was over.”

“Would you like to kiss Gray again?” Ames asked.

Lilian’s lips opened for a second. “Don’t play tricks on me, Ames. It’s not nice. He’s yours now, yours and Rynn’s. I couldn’t share him.” She went quiet for a long time. “What we had was wonderful, but it’s over now. I have to let it be over.”

Ames looked at the woman for a long time. “Maybe you can.”

Lilian’s smile was sad. “Maybe I can.” She then leaned against Gray. He felt her body warmth, and was grateful for it. She didn’t say anything more.

Ames gave him a final peck on the corner of his mouth, and then she leaned against him. It was odd. Hw as mostly holding Lilian, with Ames off to the side, though the reality was, Ames was in his heart. Still, being so close to his old lover felt strangely comfortable and completely foreign.

Part of him wanted to stay awake, to enjoy the two women, but another part of him was too tired. He was soon sleeping again.

Some time later, a Fieldkeeper roared and woke him up. “Time to run more, my little pretties! Which direction do you want to go? Let’s keep on to Pubis Port, shall we?”

The next event in the coliseum was at noon, hours and hours away.

If they spent that time running, or if they spent that time sleeping on cold rock, it didn’t matter to Gray. It was all just the same.

And so he was back with Ames and Lilian padding down the road.

At one point, Lilian asked him, “I think that Blonko person tried to kill you during the great egg cook off. Should we be worried?”

Gray only laughed.

Ames, though, whispered, “Blonko is a freak.”

“What does that mean?” Lilian asked.

But Ames didn’t know.