Palimpsest

Nirali has no marriage law. The other free cities record their unions, tax them, and weigh them in their courts; Nirali keeps no such record, having no permanent courts and no concern with whose bed belongs to whom. What it has instead is older than any law. Two people, or more, who wish to be known as bound say so once in front of a witness of their choosing, and that is the whole of it. There is no document to sign and none to tear up. To end it, one says so to the same kind of witness, and it ends.

Travelers from the kingdoms find this unserious, and say so. The Nirali reply, worn smooth by centuries of saying it, is that a bond which needs a law to hold it was never a bond, and a city which needs to know its citizens' beds was never free.

—On the Customs of the Free Cities. Compiled by the Cindorian Institute of Letters, and suppressed within the year of its first printing.

Chapter 43 A Whore of a Savior

"Wait a moment. Go back a little," Nivela said, setting her glass down on the table. "So the carvings in the bone were forming without anything touching them? Without a tool?"

"That's what I saw, yes," answered Kaelin, who looked far less excited than she did. "But I saw him suffer as though something really were being carved into him."

"Fascinating," Nivela whispered to herself. Then she drew a breath and went on. "And the symbol you saw on the man's arm? From what I gather, you were the only one who saw it."

Kaelin answered only with a nod, and the others glanced at her for a moment, because she had not shared this with them. But there was no sign of judgment on their faces.

"Can you describe what the symbol looked like in more detail? When I get back to the archive I'll certainly look into what it is. If I can find any trace of it," Nivela went on.

Orsillia, noticing that Kaelin was not very happy about this, tried to step in. "Perhaps this could wait until—"

But Nivela hushed her with a "sshhh." Even Galen and Vexila were startled by the gesture. Kaelin, for her part, began describing the symbol to her without resistance. Nivela took notes on a scrap of paper she had pulled from her pocket, and even talked Kaelin into making a rough drawing of it.

"And do you have a theory about this, my dear?" Quivar cut in from the other end of the table. Though he faltered under Orsillia's hard look, he did not shy away from asking.

"I have no idea about the experiments and the tunnels," Kaelin said, turning to him. Then she let her eyes drop to the table as if in thought. "But…"

"But?" Quivar pressed, with one last act of defiance toward Orsillia.

"Something Tarr'en said when he subdued us at the Warden headquarters has been turning over in my head ever since the caves," Kaelin answered, her eyes drifting off toward the table. "Every foundational script leaves a mark on the body of its bearer. That mark essentially serves as a seal, and it's usually mistaken for a birthmark."

Everyone at the table widened their eyes in that moment and grasped where Kaelin was going with this. But it was Nivela, again, who put it into words. "So you're saying the man who ran the experiments was a bearer—one of the seven?"

"What I'm saying," Kaelin said, gathering her drifting eyes and turning to Nivela, "is that it's only an itch wandering around in my head."

"It seems I'll be tearing the archive apart tonight, sleep be damned," Nivela said, in an utterly determined tone. Then she folded the papers and put them back in her pocket.

◈◈◈

As they recounted what had happened in Marialis and on their way here, Orsillia and her guests gave themselves over more and more to the adventure. But Kaelin and Veylith, perhaps a little more than the others, began to feel the weight pressing down on them. For even though the stories captivated the guests, the drift and the tone of the conversation kept sliding, again and again, toward the rebellion.

When the subject turned to what would come after Nirali, Kaelin—who had already begun to grow weary of it—suddenly cut the conversation off. "After?"

Those at the table were startled by the higher-than-usual pitch of her voice. Even Tivver, who had been trying to flirt with Nivela, turned to Kaelin with a serious expression.

"Don't misunderstand me," Kaelin went on, turning to Orsillia. "I'm grateful that you've taken us in here like family. I haven't had a day this easy in a long time." She turned to the guests at the table. "But the fact that you treat us like an army or an ally that's come through here won't change the fact."

"What fact?" cut in an exceedingly hard voice from the other side of the room.

When the heads turned toward the door, a tall, slender elf was standing in the doorway. They wore a black jacket cut like a military uniform, a pair of slightly loose trousers, and high boots. Their skin was whiter than any Kaelin had ever seen on a person, and their ash-grey hair had been carefully braided back against the head in lines, joining at the back into a single long braid that fell to the waist.

"This is Briyva Solthrine," Orsillia said in a low tone, without needing to gesture, "the one responsible for security in Nirali and for the soldiers on the wall."

"Thank you, Domina, but let's get back to what the little girl has to say," they said, looking at Kaelin with dull, pale blue eyes that verged on grey.

At those words Veylith gripped the arm of her chair and made to rise, but Kaelin caught her hand and stopped her. She kept her eyes fixed on Briyva without looking away. Briyva, for their part, did not glance at Veylith even for a moment. "The truth is that we're not some rebellion that's taken up arms," Kaelin went on. "These people beside me are family enough to take me in among them, and what we've been doing for the past two weeks is running for our lives."

"I told you," Briyva said, turning to Orsillia. Then, instead of coming to the table with slow steps, they headed toward the window. "They have nothing to do with us or with the cause. They're nothing more than a few vagrants who've banded together."

At this a great scraping echoed through the hall, and Ravah, shoving her chair back, rose to her feet. "Find the nerve to insult Kaelin, or any of us, one more time, and I'll break you in two," she said, with a mixture of calm and fury Kaelin had never seen in her before.

"Relax, monk, I've given the Domina my word that no blood will be spilled in the city. I'd rather not break it today," Briyva said, leaning against the window and turning to face them. They folded their arms and ran their eyes over the table.

Ravah had reached the point of clenching her teeth. Darian grasped her arm and slowly pulled it down. "We're guests here, remember," he whispered without moving his lips.

Ravah, without taking her eyes off the elf, slowly sank back into her seat. "For now," she whispered back to Darian.

"And what's your plan?" Briyva went on. "How long do you intend to stay at our hotel?"

"You may be in the habit of always taking the anger you feel toward yourself out on other people, but don't imagine you're in any position to judge me," Kaelin said, with a calm much like their own. The room turned to ice in an instant. For Kaelin was aware that everyone in the room was wary of Briyva.

"Don't forget that you're able to stay here only because the Red Lantern wishes it," Briyva shot back, the dull expression on their face finally giving way to anger. "And don't try to pull your cheap courtesan tricks on me, princess."

This time Ravah came up out of her seat with a far louder crash, and though Darian and Vaelra caught her by the arms, they still couldn't hold her. Only when Quivar and Galen came to help could they stop her.

"Please don't," Kaelin said, looking at Ravah and raising her hand to signal her to stop.

"Perhaps we'll have you to dinner some other evening," Orsillia put in, looking at Briyva.

"Enjoy your meal, then, Domina," Briyva said, and gave a slight bow of the head in greeting. Then, without so much as looking at her face, they passed by Ravah—still held back by four people—and went out the door and out of sight.

"I'm sorry about that," Galen said, drawing the others away and taking Ravah by the hand. Holding her hand, he brought Ravah back to her chair. Ravah, for her part, gave no answer to anyone, because she was trying to calm herself.

"I'm truly sorry that something like this happened," Orsillia said, looking at Kaelin. "Please, what they said…" she went on, but couldn't finish.

"They weren't wrong in what they said," Kaelin said, cutting off the Domina's words. "If we set aside the rudeness and the careless manner." Orsillia looked at Kaelin but waited, without answering, for her to go on. "We aren't leading anything, and we don't even know where we're going."

A silence settled over the hall. Orsillia sat back down calmly, and with a faint air of defeat her eyes drifted to the table.

As the only one still on her feet, Kaelin went on in a gentler tone. "I don't know where this journey will take me," she began, then, laying her hand on Veylith's shoulder and letting her gaze move over Vaelra and the others, "take us. The only thing I can ask of you is that you help me find that out." As she said this she looked at Galen, Nivela, Vexila, and Quivar. Then she turned to Orsillia. "But I'm not the person you think I am. Not right now."

"You're the one who will walk this road, and we would be honored to help you. That hasn't changed, and it won't," Orsillia said, gently taking Kaelin's hand on the table.

Kaelin smiled at her and returned the gesture in kind. "I'm not very hungry, and I'm still road-weary; if you'll forgive me tonight, I'd like to withdraw and rest."

"Of course," Orsillia said. "If you need anything…"

"Thank you," Kaelin said, and pressing her hand on the shoulder of Veylith—who had straightened to get up—she sat her back down. "But please, all of you, go on with the meal." After saying this she pushed her chair back with a small curtsey, and as she bent she whispered to Veylith, "I'm only going to bed." While the others bade her goodnight she rose and headed for the door, and just as she passed behind Ravah she laid her hand on her shoulder and gave her a meaningful look. Though she didn't thank her, her eyes did it in her place. Then she went out the door and disappeared on the stairs.

Veylith, who stayed in her seat though unwillingly, did not go after Kaelin. But no one other than Veylith noticed that, on her way out, she took a full bottle of wine from the table beside the exit.

◈◈◈

With the door closed behind her, the noise of the building had given way now to the murmur of the city seeping in through the window. For a moment Kaelin leaned her back against the wood and closed her eyes, as though still trying to climb out of the moment that had just passed. Like this she worked herself free of her shoes and, without lifting her head from the door, began to stand barefoot on the floor. At last, after a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes and began to stare down the bottle she gripped tightly by the neck. The bargain she struck within herself was a short one, and as she pulled the cork from the bottle she straightened up again. After working the cork loose with a pop that sounded loud to her in the quiet room, she let it simply drop to the floor as she walked toward the window. She wouldn't be needing it again, after all.

After taking a few large gulps from the bottle she'd tipped back, she set it carefully on the windowsill. Then, propping her elbows there, she leaned her head outside, into the faint mountain wind blowing at her back. The city stretching out before her, unlike the one in Marialis, glittered more the darker it grew, as if it came alive at night. The moonlight and the city's lamps turned the canals running downward into something like a beam of light. Kaelin let out a breath and gave a knowing laugh. For it reminded her of the symbol she had seen in the caves.

As she looked at the city's lights and the silhouettes moving in the distance, the silence in her own room began to weigh on her all the more. Her eye caught on a bright red building set somewhere near the harbor, and the nights she had spent over the years in the Red Lantern came back to her. They weren't all happy memories, but even so there had always been things, people, that gave her the feeling of home. When she had first come here she'd had something like that feeling inside her too. But that feeling had begun to fade, to turn into something else.

The light of the enormous Red Lantern burning at the city's peak struck the head she had leaned out the window, turning the red of her own hair into something like a flame for anyone looking from outside. But though Kaelin was aware of this, she did not turn to look at the light falling on her, as if it were judging her. Whether it was from the pressure on her or from the feeling that she had let someone down she didn't know, but she could not bring herself to turn and face it.

When the discomfort and the heat that had begun to press in under the effect of the alcohol and the stress carried the dress on her body to an unbearable level, she rose from the window and turned back inside. Straining to reach the spot on her back, between her shoulders, she had undone the first button. But the other buttons she either couldn't reach or simply couldn't open. After wrestling for a few minutes with the dress as though it were an enemy attacking her back, she gave up. Setting her back against the wall beneath the window, she slowly sank down to the floor. Throwing her arm up, she tipped the bottle she'd taken from the window back once more. The coolness of the stone floor and of the wall behind her was the only thing that brought her any relief just then. The half-emptied bottle, in Kaelin's eyes, had been no different from a sleeping draught for years now. Eventually she would pass out one way or another, would wake in the morning drenched in sweat, and would try to wash all the shame off under the water. The only thing she had to do was keep drinking to get through the night.

Knock knock!

At first Kaelin couldn't tell whether the sound was coming from the door, since it was quite faint and a good deal of noise was drifting up from below the window outside. But on the second knock she realized that someone was rapping at the door. At first she thought she wouldn't answer, because she didn't want to talk to the others just then. But while most of them would take no for an answer, Vaelra, especially if she was drunk, would never give up insisting. Breathing out in irritation, Kaelin got up and, swaying slightly with the bottle in her hand, walked toward the door. When she drew the bolt of the wooden door and opened it, she saw someone walking away with their back turned. She had just decided to close the door again without making a sound when, in that moment, hearing the creak of the door, Elis turned to her and their eyes met.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I thought you were awake," Elis whispered, taking a step toward her.

Kaelin couldn't answer right away, because she'd been a little thrown to find the last person she expected at her door. Then, "Um, I wasn't asleep," she answered, and though she went on with "I just…," she realized she didn't want to bring out the rest of the sentence.

Seeing Kaelin try to hide the bottle in her hand behind her back, Elis said, "A hard dinner, I take it," and came a step closer.

Kaelin let out a deep sigh and said, "Dreams and realities rarely get along," her eyes drifting into the empty air.

At this Elis said, "We can talk tomorrow, if you'd rather," and drew back half a step.

Seeing this, Kaelin pushed the still half-open door all the way open with the bottle in her hand. But even though she had invited her in, she wanted someone to be there far more than she wanted to talk. With heavy steps Elis crossed the threshold, stepped over Kaelin's shoes tossed on the floor, and went on walking toward the window. Kaelin, behind her, closed the door and drew the bolt again.

When she came up beside Elis, who was looking out the window, she asked, "Have you ever seen a city this alive at night?" holding the bottle out to her.

Taking the bottle without even looking at Kaelin, Elis said, "The dead ones felt more honest than this," and tipped it back for a few large gulps. As if conceding the point, Kaelin twisted her lip and took the bottle back, still looking outside. "From what I gather, everyone here is waiting for a savior," Elis said, in a slightly mocking tone.

"Exactly so," Kaelin answered. "A whore of a savior who usually chooses to get drunk!" She tipped the bottle back again and then held it out to Elis once more.

Taking the bottle again, Elis said, "There's nothing wrong with waiting to be saved. But writing a fantasy on top of that—that's the truly dangerous part," and brought the bottle to her mouth. But instead of drinking she stopped and lowered it. "For what it's worth, I couldn't see anything dishonorable in what you said back there." Kaelin gave her a knowing smile, then laid her arms on the window and leaned out. Elis looked first at her hair catching fire in the light, then saw the buttons of her dress, one of them undone. "Do you need help there?" she asked.

When Kaelin turned her head to her and saw that she was looking at her back, she understood that she meant the dress. "The damned thing refuses to come off, as if I'd sealed it onto myself," she cursed. As if trying to breathe, she let the straps fall from her shoulders down her arms.

"Let's free you from this seal, then," Elis said, setting the bottle on the window and drawing back a step.

Kaelin understood that Elis wanted her to step in front of her, and, turning her back to Elis, she stood there before her. Elis carefully undid the buttons one by one, and when she finally drew her hand away the whole dress slid off Kaelin and fell to her feet. Both of them froze for a moment. As Kaelin looked out the window, naked, her heart began at the same time to beat almost twice as fast. Elis, for her part, looked at the skin of Kaelin's that the moonlight fell upon, and at her neck, which the faint wind had bared as it tossed her hair aside.

As Kaelin stood there motionless, her whole body gone numb, many thoughts and a face or two passed through her mind. But when she felt a touch at her waist, everything began to blur. As a second hand joined the first and started to roam over her body, a warmth spread once again through the body the wind had cooled. She felt a breath on her neck, and all the fine hairs there stood up at once with a shiver. But at the touch of a lip against them her body all at once came undone. She let her head fall back, and she stopped holding on to anything. Kaelin finally closed her eyes and surrendered her skin to the gentle hands that, behind her, were trying to touch her very soul.

◈◈◈

In the hall's dim light a shadow appeared, walking barefoot with its shoes in hand. The shadow moved with slow but long strides toward the first door on the right and stopped just in front of it. A hand reached out hesitantly to knock on the door. But when she heard the sounds coming from inside, she drew it back, the hand closing as though clutching at something in the air. Veylith took a deep breath, and her face fell for a moment. After quickly gathering herself, she turned in the light of the corridor—a light that now seemed far dimmer—and made her way to her room.