Chapter 87: Poor Hughie Wants To Quit!
Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
~ Abraham Lincoln
____
At the head of the table sat The Guardian, Homelander right next to him. Further down were Queen Maeve, Starlight, A-Train, Black Noir, and a Vought PR rep, Ashley.
Any one of them alone could make national headlines.
And right now every single one of them was staring at an ordinary human.
Hughie’s back was instantly soaked. He found the furthest corner and tried to shrink into it.
What a fucking joke.
What kind of bullshit spy mission was this? He was going home tomorrow!
Fuck!
I quit.
Whoever wanted this job could have it.
Hughie roared the words in his head.
Ashley cleared her throat, refusing to let the little interruption derail her presentation, and kept going.
"...In short, after the Little St. James Island incident, the overall favorability rating of The Seven skyrocketed from 72% to 91%. The phones have been ringing off the hook with brand collaboration inquiries, and the pre-orders for merchandise this week alone have already exceeded the entire total from last year."
"Homelander’s personal approval rating has rebounded by eight percentage points."
The slide flipped.
"The Guardian’s personal approval rating... 94%."
Homelander’s hand, which had been flipping through the documents, suddenly froze.
Ashley quickly moved on, clearly not wanting to linger on that number.
"Next is the CP strategy. After calculations by the marketing department, we believe we can operate on two tracks at the same time."
She pulled up two posters.
"One side is Starlight and The Guardian. A match made in heaven, overflowing with positive energy. We’ll push the ’hero couple’ persona, targeting the young female market."
"On the other side..."
She quickly glanced at Queen Maeve. "Queen Maeve. Unrequited love. Loving someone you can’t have. Mature woman... this can pull in the older female demographic."
Queen Maeve raised an eyebrow.
Interesting. I’ll have a private chat with Ashley after work.
"The benefit of this direction is that it can boost the approval ratings of all three people at the same time. Queen Maeve usually projects a strong ’Queen Maeve’ persona. We can use this narrative to frame the unrequited love, letting everyone see she also has a feminine, vulnerable side."
"It can win a lot of sympathy and expand your Hollywood acting range. It’s killing two... no, three birds with one stone!"
Queen Maeve crossed her arms, a half-smile on her face.
Whoever came up with this PR strategy deserved a raise. It was almost too good.
Homelander, on the other hand, hadn’t said a single word the entire time. He just sat there with a dark expression.
Still gloomy.
Still dissatisfied.
Still making everyone guess his mood.
Hillel nudged him with his elbow.
"Hey, why aren’t you breathing today? You’re not allowed to sleep here!"
Homelander turned his head, eyes full of resentment.
"How is my approval rating so much lower than yours?"
"Heh~ Because I’m a handsome hunk, and you’re a middle-aged blonde soy boy!"
Hillel answered without a shred of shame.
Homelander: "..."
"Then... how can I improve my approval rating?" Homelander was getting used to Hillel’s bluntness by now.
"Simple. Get bundled up with me!"
Homelander’s brows knitted into a knot. He scooted sideways like the idea physically disgusted him.
"No."
He said it firmly. "It is impossible for me to fake a relationship with you. I am a straight man."
Starlight: "!!"
Queen Maeve: "!!!"
A-Train: "!!"
Black Noir: "..."
Hughie: "???"
...
[Homelander — Emotional Change: Vigilant, somewhat offended, self-defensive, awkward]
[Obtained Ability Points: +6,720]
...
Hillel looked at the expression on Homelander’s face, like the man was staring down a mortal enemy, and felt completely speechless.
"Fuck! You fucking lunatic, it’s hard to say you don’t have homosexual tendencies! I’m talking about chasing clout. What the hell are you thinking?"
Homelander flinched.
When The Guardian said "bundled up," he had immediately pictured the kind that involved ropes.
"Chasing clout isn’t great. Lately people have been scolding me, saying I only know how to chase clout!" Homelander frowned.
"Then change the method. You publicly announce that you’re donating a large sum of money to The Guardian’s charitable foundation. Who would have the right to criticize you then?"
"Spend a little money to achieve big things. Then get the media to report the hell out of it, and your approval rating will naturally keep climbing."
Homelander was stunned. That... actually made sense.
He had almost thought this guy was about to make a move on him.
False alarm.
Whew.
"Then... how much is appropriate to donate?"
Hillel didn’t answer. Instead he turned his head and looked straight at the ordinary human in the corner.
"Hughie, you’re the supervisor. What do you think?"
Every supe in the room turned to stare at him at the same time.
Hughie felt like the sweat on his shirt could be wrung out into a bucket.
"What I mean is.. From your perspective as an ordinary person, how much do you think it’s appropriate for Homelander to donate?" Hillel asked with a smile.
"Twenty million." Homelander answered fast, voice full of bravado.
Hillel looked at him with pure disdain.
"Twenty million? That’s not even enough to build a shitty toilet."
Homelander: "..."
A twenty-million-dollar toilet? Were the bowls rimmed with gold or something?
Hughie’s brain spun at full speed.
On one side sat Homelander. On the other sat The Guardian.
As a regular human, the pressure was crushing.
"T-Twenty million... is also a lot!"
His voice was shaking. "Really. It can do a lot of good. Save a lot of families. Let a lot of kids go to school... Twenty million is enough to run a decent foundation!"
Hearing that, Homelander nodded with rare satisfaction.
"I like this young man."
He pointed at Hughie. "He’s an honest person!"
"That’s perfect."
Hillel kept going at his own pace. "Hughie usually likes to play with something exciting. Something related but not limited to clenching steel balls."
Homelander’s face fell again. Why was it that everyone he praised around him was either an idiot or a pervert?
Hughie: I’ll never live this down!
Hillel continued without missing a beat.
"However, twenty million is still too little. Sometimes donating too little can backfire."
"Think about it. When I, The Guardian, make a move, I put up three hundred million."
"You, the dignified Homelander, leader of The Seven, the strongest supe in the US, only cough up twenty million."
"What will the public think?"
Homelander: "..."
Here it comes. It’s here again. This familiar tactic!
____
Early access to 12 advance Chapters.
P@t: MilkLoverFanfics