Chapter 33. A Total Moron
The line on the table started to bleed away, parts of it drifting off. I jabbed my finger into the center of the spiral. I wanted to feel it before it dissipated, see if it felt the same as the lines everyone else kept drawing. It tingled on my fingertip, but I could feel it all the way up in my elbow, like my tendons were happy. The thought made no sense, but I had no other way to describe the lightness and energy. My hand stayed up almost without me having to hold it.
I reached inward, made the tingling stronger inside myself. My ears hummed and the spiral flared before pulling apart. The scraps of mana floated away from the table, fading to nothing.
“That was great!” Minnelil shouted. “Fek, Grit, she did it!”
“Whoo!” Fek shouted.
I grinned like an idiot, shaking my head. I guess I did, but I also remembered what I had done earlier and paled, my cheeks going cold. “I’m sorry,” I said, gesturing at Minnelil’s hand. “I didn’t mean to. You know.”
Minnelil chuckled, grinning at me. “It didn’t really hurt. Don’t worry about it.”
“What happened?” Fek asked, dropping his book next to his bed.
“She bit me,” Minnelil said, laughing.
“Oh, makes sense. She’s looked like she’s going to bite someone sooner or later. Can’t be healthy to scowl that much all the time,” Fek said.
“Fek!” Grit shouted.
“What? It’s true.”
I had to be beet red, my cheeks burning hot and my scalp tingling. I pushed a hand into my hair to scratch at it. “It was a reflex, okay? I was focusing.”
“Well, it is soon dinner time,” Grit said. “You think you can do it again?”
I rubbed my face with both hands, as the flush wasn’t going away. “Maybe. I guess. I know now how it feels, so it has to be easier in the future, right?”
“It will,” Minnelil said. “It won’t still be easy, though. It’s all very finicky in the beginning. But I’m certain you’ll get it soon enough.”
“Good. Because Falar said I should practice as much as possible before he puts his outing together. And well… I want to start learning the other stuff as well.”
Minnelil nodded. “We can go and eat and I’ll explain to you how channeling and controlling your senses are related. After all that, I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“Yeah, she tried to eat you already,” Fek said.
I walked with my hands in my pockets, pretending to sulk. “What right do you have pulling me off him, when you had him in a head lock a moment earlier?”
Grit grinned, shrugging. “You’re scarier. But you really have been asking for it, haven’t you, Fek?”
“I get jittery after an exam!”
“You’re always jittery,” Grit said.
I scoffed and kept walking. I was jittery as well, but not just because of the exam.
All that had helped. The crying, the wrestling, focusing on the channeling. The aching emptiness had been pushed deeper, the simmering resentment was quieter. I would overeat like hell, make the others roll me down the stairs and straight into bed, sleep until the dim sun crawled above the horizon around noon.
“Lina!” Frederik shouted. He waved at me from top of the stairs.
I glanced down, looking for somewhere I could escape to. Minnelil, Fek, and Grit walked behind me, blocking the way.
I sighed and continued climbing. Another person moved up behind Frederik. Copper hair, golden embroidery on his robe. Lombarte.
I stopped.
Fek bumped into my back. “Huh, wha…” his voice trailed off and he hissed, probably recognizing Lombarte like I had.
“I have been looking for you!” Frederik shouted, smiling and happy like he wasn’t playing with live fire, bringing a Kertharian along. “I heard you snatched the exam paper. That’s so cool!”
“Yeah, so?” I asked, glancing back and exchanging a glance with Minnelil. I hoped she’d understand and do something. I didn’t know what. Lombarte wasn’t a Kertharian, only a student. I had to remember.
Fek twitched and his robes pulled back, so maybe she had grabbed on to him. I took the stairs two at a time, leaping to buy some time to handle the situation before all of them stumbled and butted into it.
“It’s one of the challenges. Everyone tries it, but very few pull it off. They slap hard! I got my thumb broken and had to finish the exam with my left hand.”
Huh. The guy really was a total moron. What could I say to that? He looked so happy. “Ehm, great? I’m going to eat.”
“So are we!” he shouted.
Lombarte sneered down at me. The sides of his head were shaved, but the hair on the top of his head was long, pulled together into a single copper ponytail. Seeing it made my face go cold. Some of the Kertharian soldiers had worn their hair similarly.
“Why’s he here?” I asked, turning away so I wouldn’t need to look at him.
“Oh, we were discussing some council business with Kartham. Everyone’s got to eat!” Frederik said. He reached his hand down at me, offering to pull me up the final four steps.
I stepped up onto the platform beside the stairs, skipping the final steps. Didn’t want to end up nose to nose with them. “I thought he didn’t eat with us peons.”
“Hah!” Frederik slapped Lombarte on the back hard, making him grunt. “Heard that, Kartham? Nice one.”
“It was,” Lombarte said through clenched teeth. “Go and reserve seats for us, Rodn. I’ll be right in.”
Frederik blinked, then nodded and waved a hand at me. “Six places? Yeah, good idea to get in early!”
Lombarte opened his mouth to answer, but Frederik wheeled around and rushed toward the Dinner Hall door. Right, Rodn. Some sort of important family, probably mortally ashamed of the blond doofus messing about in a black robe.
I stood alone on the platform, facing the Kertharian.
Minnelil was holding back Fek and Grit down on the stairs. They whispered with each other, but she had it under control for now. Good. The less audience there was, the less reason the Ke… Lombarte had to escalate things.
He stepped forward, hands in his pockets. “Must be nice having everyone bend over backward for you. Even Falar came to lecture me after the last time. Me. Whatever. Listen up, you filth.”
I stepped forward, taking my hands out of my pockets. He hesitated. Of course he did. I was probably baring my teeth at him. I couldn’t see anything except the copper ponytail on top of his head, refusing to look at his face, at the tan skin. The bells on his ears tinkled. He wasn’t a Kertharian. Not really, not one of them. Just a rich kid wearing a costume, not caring how it made people feel. He didn’t need to.
I opened my fists and pushed my hands back into my pockets. “I’m listening. Spit it out.”
He pulled his face back into the constipated sneer, even as he took a step back. “There’s talk about a field trip. Remember that the student council picks the students going on them. If you’re asked, step down.”
“No,” I said quietly.
“I don’t think I heard that properly,” Lombarte said, voice tightening. He took a step forward.
I took one back.
He looked so smug, thinking he had me scared. I tried to look away from the ponytail, the tan skin, but all I saw were the red tassels on his robe, the bells on his boots. I was trying so damn hard not to throw him down the stairs, punch him in the throat, scream into his face as I pushed my thumbs into his eyes. The world tilted to the side. His mouth moved, but the roaring of fire covered whatever he might be saying.
The hairs on my skin rose up as I expected for the timber to hit the roof.
I spun around, pulled my chin to my chest and looked at my feet as I started rushing toward the Dinner Hall. There was ice on the wood. I latched onto the idea. If there was ice, there couldn’t be fire. I was waiting for the timber, but it hadn’t landed, it wouldn’t.
The Kertharian said something, shouted a single guttural word at me. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew the language.
They had all screamed it at us, while the village burned and we died.
Everything happened at once. I wheeled around, the timber struck the roof. The impact rushed through my body like I had been hit instead of the house. The Kertharian’s mouth was pulled to the side by the scar, hands on her hips.
A girl rushed me from the front, someone who wasn’t supposed to be here. She had brown hair and green eyes and a wide mouth. She thumped into me and wrapped her arms around my chest. She was in my way. I wasn’t a child anymore, I wasn’t going to run. I didn’t know if this was real, but I didn’t care. I would stab the Kertharian with her own dagger, over and over again. The fire flared everywhere, orange and red and black.
“Lina,” the girl said. She kept speaking, but I didn’t listen.
I plowed forward, pushing her face away from mine. The Kertharian kept walking backward, hands raised before her like she was afraid. I barked a laugh when I saw it. How does it feel? How does it feel!
The Kertharian spun around and ran, bells tinkling and shouting something. I spat after her, screamed at the girl with her arms wrapped around my waist now. She was slowing me down too much. I pulled my fist back to punch her, make her let go.