Chapter 12.3
I walked back to the bed heels clicking on the floor and switched our call over to the computer. With the higher resolution and her image filling my large monitor it was much more personal, almost like she was sat the other side of the desk “there that’s much better, we couldn’t be having any fun on a little phone screen” she had a devilish grin on her pretty face, and I knew she was already scheming.
She asked me to recount, in absolute detail what had happened with Marc in the forest, and as I told her I could feel my body responding, it was so hot, the details of how he felt and tasted. What was going on in my body as his cock hit the back of my throat, the way it cascaded down my spine and concentrated deep below.
I was also enjoying seeing her clearly get into it, I wasn’t sure if she was just using her hand or a toy, but she was definitely getting very hot under the collar. I couldn’t deny my own urges and I started stroking myself as I spoke.
When I detailed the sudden approach of Marc’s orgasm and how it supercharged my own she started audibly mewing, light moans as I coaxed her into her own climax. Describing the finale sent a shudder down my spine, my cock flexed at the memory and Ellie cried out as she came hearing my words, it was so erotic and so empowering to know I was the cause.
I slowed my own stroking, but couldn’t stop entirely, Ellie regained her focus and told me how amazing that must have been and how jealous she was. I beamed with pride, and couldn’t help but admit it was hot. However I was still concerned and asked “but sucking his cock, doesn’t that make me gay?” she scoffed and responded “there is no way you are gay, not after last night with me anyway, and what does it matter? it’s just a label for other people to use. If it makes you happy why not do it?” she had a point, although I felt guilty there was no way I could deny I’d thoroughly enjoyed it.
Our conversation turned to our outfits and our toys, and it wasn’t long before we were challenging each other to do things with them. Our outfits gradually peeled off, the toys got larger and deeper. Ellie definitely had a thing for seeing me deep throat my toys especially Biggie’s dildo. Spurring each other on, we pumped and stroked in unison as her cries rang out through my speakers matched with my own. Deliberately pooling my cum on my stomach to she could watch me feed it to myself and swallow it all down.
It was perverse but oh so satisfying. The whole time Ellie had been describing how a real cock feels inside you, how as good as the best toy is, nothing compares to the real thing attached to someone who knows how to use it. I wasn’t sure what she was up to, and it only added to the confusion around our relationship. We couldn’t be an item if she was pushing me to have sex with someone else, surely.
We chatted some more, floating the idea of a shared broadcast, maybe some special videos that we could use on each other’s platforms. We selected some images and posted them to see what sort of reaction we would get. Both satisfied and very messy, we said our goodbyes and I stayed on the computer, catching up on all the messages and stats from my accounts.
Looking at the numbers, even accounting for the last few days without going live, I still had a steady income, it wasn’t a huge amount at the moment, but I could see the trajectory and with this kind of growth I would be in a really good place in 6 months or so. But did I want to be doing this in the future? It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it for the most part. However the whole thing with Ellie, not knowing where I stood, and Marc. What about Marc? I did like him, but not like that, well, I had to admit I liked his cock more than anything else, but more than that I wasn’t so sure.
Where was all this leading to? I had a nice easy path of taking the promotion, it was simple and neat. A better job, more money, more interesting work and a nicer team, or carry on as I had for the last few months, the end payoff may be higher, but it was all so complicated. The relationships already confusing, the cold hard reality of having to tell my family and friends. How would I be received? And did I even want this? If I even knew what this was?
Exhausted both mentally and physically I quickly showered but just dried myself and slid into bed naked, no energy for moisturiser or picking out clothes. Welcoming sleep as my eyes closed and the covers wrapped around me.
Waking with no alarm clock, I had no idea what time it was, except one body part knew precisely. Standing rigidly to attention without the usual lace constraint, my morning wood throbbed insistingly. I pulled the covers back and wrapped my hand around it. No matter what direction I chose with my life ahead, I knew for certain that playing with myself as well as my toys would remain a constant.
As I idly stroked myself I couldn’t help but think of the choice that lay ahead, I still had a few days before I had to give an answer, but I was no nearer to making a decision. I reached over to my nightstand and picked a medium size toy and some lube. Accepting its girth as it spread me, sinking to my depths.
For a while I just chased the best feeling, picking up on my body’s cues pumping the dildo faster or at a different angle. Couldn’t however shake the images Ellie had put in my mind of what it would feel like with a real cock in there, not just any cock but Marc’s, now I had an actual life visual reference I could see it and feel its texture, my mind flashed with thoughts and the heat quickly built as a rapid orgasm surged through me and erupted from my flailing dick, semen spewing all over my smooth hairless body. I grasped my penis and stroked it frantically.
I’d cum, but it wasn’t enough, I had more left. But it I couldn’t bring the feeling back. Frustratingly I stopped, not entirely satisfied and annoyed I hadn’t got the release I craved. Climbing out of bed and running through my usual morning routine I thought about my options. If I was going to go back to presenting as a guy, and take the office job I’d need to try my clothes on again, I hadn’t worn male clothing in over 3 months, and in that time I had worked really hard on my diet, fitness and physique.
My lower drawers were still filled with a mix of the clothes I used to wear. I pulled out a pair of smart jeans and a suitable shirt, the kind of thing wore nearly every day when in the office. The first thing I noticed was how rough the fabric was, nothing like the delicate and soft items I had become accustomed to. I couldn’t bear the thought of wearing my old boxer shorts, at least I could keep the nice fitting panties.
The jeans I chose were slim fit, and as I slid them up my legs I realised just how much my body had changed. My thighs and ass were at least an inch if not two bigger and I struggled to pull the belt loop over them, and then as I buttoned them up there was another inch of spare material to my waist. Adding a shirt to the top, it seemed to hang off me awkwardly everywhere, had I really become that much slimmer, I knew my stomach was, but it appeared that my arms and shoulders had slimmed down a little too.
Standing, looking at my reflection I felt ridiculous. It was all so ill-fitting and clumsy. I turned and looked from the back, my ass was straining against the fabric and it hung loosely everywhere else. And then there was my face, without makeup, even just a little, it seemed odd and out of place.
If I was going to return to the office I would need an entire new wardrobe, possibly even some unisex clothes that actually fit my new shape. Stripping back down I could finally see the changes in their entirety. It was subtle, and there was no escaping that my male frame was underneath, however the thickness of my thighs and the curve from my ass was a real sight to behold. I had achieved some amazing results, with nothing more than dedicated exercise, good diet and commitment to change.
I left my old clothes in the bottom drawers and picked out something from my more recent purchases, casual, comfy but still quite figure hugging, I was proud of my new shape, the very least I could do was embrace it right? Still thinking to my episode in bed this morning and the remnants of an unsatisfactory orgasm still clung around in my mind. My head was all jumbled up. Scenarios and combinations of future events passed though, what did I want to do, which route was best for me? So many questions that I didn’t have the answer for.
I sent a text to Ellie, while she might have been a corrupting influence, she was the only other person I could confide in, no-one else knew what I was going through. She called back moments later and her bright voice instantly lifted me. I talked a lot, she listened attentively, chipping in every now and again. There was no obvious solution, it came down to a choice between the complexities of officially living life as a cam girl, it would be impossible to hide the sculptured eyebrows and nails, and my persistent use of the lip plumpers had already left them a little fuller than they had been before even without recent application.
Then the messed up relationships I had started to form, not knowing where I was with Ellie, or what meeting up with Marc would lead to, if he would even accept me, a backdrop of no financial security and the possibility that I wasn’t straight or maybe even trans, I would have to present myself to my family and friends as a girl, it was the most risky option by a long way. Or going back to a regular job, a well-paid one at that. I could of course carry on enjoying myself at home, but I would have to stop camming and delete all my accounts just in case a video of me got out and destroyed my career.
Ellie had been listening patiently, I skirted around our lack of official relationship status to her and she simply stated that I should do whatever would make me the happiest and I replied saying that I just didn’t know. Her final suggestion was to go all in for the last couple of days. Book an appointment at the salon, have the full works, see how it made me feel and then I would know for sure.
I let it sink in for a moment, she did have a point. While I had been emersed in the cam girl life, and the odd trip to the salon to get my hair and nails tidied I had always played it safe. If this really was going to be my last opportunity to experiment, why not go out with a bang. I could hear Ellie clapping her hands on the other end of the line. “I’ll call my people and see if they can fit you in” she stated enthusiastically.
The plan was to get fully dolled up, go all out and put on the best show I could, a farewell blowout as it were. I still hadn’t decided, but at least this would put it all on the line and I could let the fans decide, if there was enough support and more importantly tokens that would go a long way to sway the final outcome.
Half an hour later my phone pinged with a message from Ellie, they had a slot first thing the next day, I agreed and that was it. I spent the rest of the day nervously keeping myself occupied in the flat. A bit of gaming, some tidying up and organising, I re-engaged with my fans and posted about the big show I had planned for tomorrow.
Somewhat settled, I did at least have a plan, even if my fate lay in the hands of the strangers who would tune into my next show. By the time I had sorted everything it was getting late and my libido had returned with vengeance. My asshole itching with an unmistakable desire to be filled.
In preparation for the big makeover in the morning I decided to attach my breast forms, with the added time I could blend them in better, and I knew they would tick all the boxes for my fans. I hadn’t worn them in a while and I had forgotten how pleasant their weight felt attached to my chest, they really did complete my curves.
I pulled out the outfit I would wear to the salon, and thought about all the things that I might have done, we’d booked a 4 hour slot so there was time to do pretty much anything they had on offer. And then I turned my attention to what I would wear tonight. I wasn’t going to cam, so this was all for me, a final act of utter self-indulgence. I rummaged through every single item I had, cherry picking the very best.