Chapter 44: No Place for the Past
Walking through the dark street, the moonlight fell upon the world. The flickering streetlights kept switching on and off. It seemed peaceful and silent at first glance. However, for Alden, who was walking silently through the quiet alley, looking straight ahead while listening to the constant tap of footsteps beside him, it was hard to keep himself calm.
As he walked with silent steps, he kept feeling a constant gaze resting on his face. He tried hard to shake it off, but after walking quite a distance, he could not hold himself back anymore.
"Is there something on my face?"
Syrene did not flinch at his sharp tone and unexpected question. Her face remained unnervingly calm as she replied to him with a soft tone.
"You have changed so much, Alden. Not just your looks, but your behavior, your body language... everything."
Alden did not reply immediately, keeping his pace steady, though his steps slowed down for a fraction of a second.
"Oh, really? Have I changed that much? I don’t even remember the last time we saw each other for you to know that. It was maybe two or three years ago."
Syrene pursed her lips, unable to answer him. She knew that whatever she told him would only backfire on her. There was no need to give an excuse to the person who already knew what her true feelings were, and what she had actually done to him in the past.
"I am sorry..."
"Sorry? For what? For not staying beside me when I needed you the most? For looking down on me? Or for breaking of our engagement? If that is the case, then don’t be."
He paused for a moment.
"I did not expect much from you anyway. When even my own parents were not with me, hated me, then you were just an outsider."
Syrene stopped in her tracks. She halted her steps and turned toward him fully. Her emerald eyes were moist, holding back the unshed tears that she found so hard to hide.
"Do you hate me?"
Alden looked at her and then turned away, unable to meet her gaze.
"I should, but I do not. You don’t deserve my hate, because you haven’t actually done anything to directly hurt me. You did not give me any false hope like the other people did. So, there is no need for it."
As she heard those words, something inside her seemed to break. She clenched her fists, her eyes turning sharp and cold as she looked right at him.
"Why?! Why do you not hate me? You should! I was the one who broke our engagement, even before you got exiled. I am the one who gave you the first wave of pain and betrayed your trust. I should be the first person you hate!"
Alden also stopped in his tracks and looked back at her. His expression softened slightly, not feeling the slightest bit offended by her outburst.
"Pain cannot be measured by who gave it to me first, Syrene. It is measured by what effect it had on me and my life. And what are you asking of me? To give you the exact same thing you gave to me? You gave me pain, so I should give you the same? What a great logic that is."
"Tell me, what would have happened if I actually hated you? What benefits would you have gotten from that? Would it have made you feel less guilty about abandoning me? Or maybe you would feel better after seeing my outburst and hearing me blame you for everything. No... I am not the kind of guy you think I am. I do not judge people only from my own perspective. After spending my entire childhood with you, I at least know enough that you would not just betray me without a reason. Not unless you were facing some unforeseen situation or pressure. So, I do not blame you for what you did."
"You deserve a better partner than me, someone strong enough to support you. Or maybe you wanted someone who everyone would respect. Maybe you wanted someone you could stand tall beside without feeling awkward. I don’t know about that, and I don’t even want to know. It was your own path and your own choice. So, I do not deserve to demand anything from you."
"Everyone has their own choices and their own path to walk on. No one can pressure or manipulate them to choose a different path than what they want to follow."
Syrene’s expression softened. A hint of vulnerability appeared in her eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it came. She straightened her back and turned around, not meeting his eyes as she looked blankly down the empty street toward a flickering streetlight.
"Is there any chance that... that we can get back... Not the engagement, but as friends once again? Like how we used to be?" she asked, clutching her purse tightly in her hand and nervously tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Alden stared at her face for a second before turning back to keep walking.
"No. We cannot go back to how we were back then. The past Alden died a long time ago after living a pathetic life. What is left is just a new me, a person who will walk on a different path. And on that path, I don’t think there is any place left for you to fit in. I am sorry if I sound rude, but that is the truth. I don’t need your comfort or your words of support anymore. I can handle myself just fine. So, if you are done talking about the past, shall we go to dinner? Our teammates might be waiting for us."
Alden started to walk away without looking back to see if she was following him or not.
As his figure started to distance itself from the dark street, Syrene stood there with a blank face. A single tear fell from her eye, flowing down her cheek before dropping onto the cold ground. She wiped her eyes quickly to calm herself down. After taking a long, shaky breath, she glanced forward and started walking after him.
...
After leaving Syrene behind, Alden kept walking with a silent pace, wearing an expressionless look on his face.
{Was there even a need for you to break her heart like that? You could have just told her that you wanted some space...}
A voice rang inside his head. It was not the familiar female voice of the system, but the voice of the new Alden who had transmigrated into his body.
’No, it is alright, Pain is still pain. No matter how you express it, the other person will eventually feel hurt. And I know she would not have given up if I had chosen comfortable words and given her a vague answer.’
’I know there must have been some solid reason for her to break the engagement. She wasn’t the type of person who would do that, at least not behind my back without even having a conversation with me first.’
’She still has feelings for me, I can see it in her eyes. If I give her any false hope now, then she would truly be broken one day.’
The original Alden answered with a soft, distant tone. His voice rang inside his mind as both souls held their private conversation.
’So... thank you for letting me take control over the body just this once to have a proper conversation with her. I will always remain indebted to you.’
{Hmph... What are you saying? I am the one who possessed your body, so why are you thanking me?}
A hint of a genuine smile appeared on Alden’s face as he answered internally.
’No, I am glad you took over my body. Rather than living a life hated by everyone around me, I would much prefer getting some peace.’
{Hmph... What a bastard. While I am out here facing a hell lot of trouble, you just want to feel peace. Do you even know how much trouble I have faced because of you?}
’Hehe... You should learn to live with it, because my life really was cursed, and now you have to live with that curse.’ The original Alden chuckled.
’Sigh... By the way, how did this body become so strong in just a few days? What kind of demon possessed my body to make it this powerful?’
{Hey, I am not some kind of demon. Don’t even dare to call me that, or I won’t ever switch back with you.}
’Hehe... Okay, okay. I know you are not a demon. I can see it clearly through your memories. Well, what should I call you then? New Alden? Or maybe by your real name?’
{What?! You can read my memories? How is this even possible? Don’t watch any of my weird memories, or I am going to kill you!}
’Hehe... It is too late. I have watched all of your weird memories already. In fact, I watched them twice, maybe even thrice. But sigh, until the very end, you were still a virgin.’
{...}
’Hey? Why did you suddenly become silent? Can’t you hear me? Hey? Okay, okay, you can switch back with me now. Now that I am done with my closure, I can go back. I am not used to this body anymore, it feels completely unfamiliar...’
A sudden switch of their souls made him almost stumble sideways. He had to grab the support of the wall to keep himself standing. Their souls swapped places again, and the new Alden, who had transmigrated into this world, finally came back out. He shook his head and began to walk toward the restaurant.
"Sigh... At least one of my worries has lessened. Now I just have to focus on the daily troubles I have to face."
[Ding! Hidden quest has been completed!]
[Mission: Obtain the acknowledgment of the previous owner of the body (Completed!)]
[Rewards: 10 Stat points (Obtained!)]
[Ding! You have reached the condition to breakthrough!]
[Ding! Do you want to breakthrough now?]
[Y/N]
As Alden looked at the system interface, a genuine smile tugged on his lips.
’Sigh... At least you came in some use in the end.’
{Hey, what? Why are you smiling?}
the original Alden’s voice echoed faintly in the background of his mind.
Without answering his question, Alden walked past the long, dark alley. He pulled out his smartphone and, guided by the location on the screen, he soon reached the restaurant. He planned on spending his evening digging into a splendid dinner without spending even a single penny from his own pocket.