9: Nero Steals The Moon
It was Mother's Day—the day to celebrate the wonderful things that mothers do for their ugly children. Nero went ballistic with his mom; he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to give her a special Mother's Day gift. He had been working on something big. He wanted to give her the moon, literally.
Advised by Abdul, he contacted Gru from the Minions franchise. Gru was a known super genius and a master of all types of machines and gadgets. He wore black clothing and was bald with a huge nose he used to penetrate the assholes of the minions.
The ugly man also had 3 adoptive daughters: Margo, Edith, and Agnes. They were like daughters to him, but only the eldest had been kissed by him. Gru was a super genius, and his inventions were so advanced that he had created a shrink ray that was capable of shrinking anything.
"Hello, Gru," said Nero, entering by the window uninvited.
"Who the hell are you?" asked Gru, looking up at Nero, who was standing in his living room. Gru was in the middle of having sex with a Minion; the creature was screaming in pleasure as Gru penetrated his anus with his nose. His snot was a great lubricant, and his nose was large enough to stimulate the Minion's prostate.
"I'm Nero. I need your help."
"I'm busy," said Gru, looking down at the Minion on the floor. "I've got an important meeting to attend."
"Banana!" said the Minion. "Uhh, banana!"
"I don't think you're going to get to that meeting, Gru," said Nero innocently. "You're too busy smelling that Minion's butt."
"Banana!" agreed the Minion as he farted loudly. The bald man breathed in the fart deeply.
"Leave! A big log is coming!" shouted Gru as he withdrew his nose from the Minion's ass.
"I’m here to talk," said Nero, sitting on the sofa in Gru's living room. "I heard you were the best inventor in the city, and I wanted you to let me use your shrink ray to shrink the moon for my mommy."
Gru looked at Nero, at the Minion, and then back at Nero. "Ugh!" Gru sighed as he stood up, the shit stuck to the tip of his nose. "No way! I'm not letting a dumb kid use my shrink ray. You'll probably misuse it."
"I won't. I promise." Nero gave him a cute, innocent look. "I just want to give my mommy the moon."
Gru didn't like the idea of letting that brat borrow his ray, but then he recognized him. "Wait a minute, you're the son of Remnya Scheduna."
"I am!" Nero smiled. "So, will you let me borrow your shrink ray?"
Gru hesitated. That weird boy was the son of Remnya, leader of the Crimson Army. Helping him meant winning her favor. Gru grinned. "You know what? Why the fuck not? I'll lend you my shrink ray."
"Great! Thanks, Mr. Gru!"
Nero followed Gru around the mansion. There was a room full of minions, and the stench of sulfur was overwhelming. They were having an intense orgy.
He saw a room with a giant blender where minions were being thrown in, and their bodies were being turned into a thick slurry of yellow blood.
They also passed by his daughters' room. It was a room full of toys, dolls, and games. They could see the three girls playing and having fun.
Every night, Gru would come to kiss and touch his daughters. He would fondle them and touch them inappropriately.
"Here it is!" said Gru, as he led Nero to a large, steel door at the end of a long corridor. He opened it with a key and led him inside the lab.
The lab was a large, dark, and eerie place. There were many strange machines and devices, all of which seemed to have a purpose.
There was a large, black machine in the middle of the room. It was a large, black box with many buttons and controls. It was the Shrink Ray. It was a large, black box with a big red button on the side.
"Wow!" Nero exclaimed, admiring the weapon. "Thank you, Mr. Gru!"
Ignited by pure excitement, the boy erupted in a brilliant crimson aura and blasted straight through the ceiling. He vanished into the sky, leaving behind a gaping exit wound of dark flames that rapidly began to consume the laboratory.
"Fuck! My lab! Noooo!" screamed Gru, watching the destruction of his lab.
Nero flew to Kristen's house and landed on the cardboard roof, destroying it.
"What the fuck?!" screamed Kristen, looking at his roof. "WHY DID YOU DESTROY MY HOUSE?!"
"Kristen, I'm sorry. I'm going to give my mommy the best gift ever. I'm going to use Gru's shrink ray to shrink the moon and give it to her."
"And why did you come to my house?"
"I can't let my mommy see this yet. It's a surprise. However, I need a place where I can aim properly. This house is the perfect place."
"But I was rubbing my pp!" He showed his micro penis, a trail of smegma on it.
"You need to wash that thing," Nero said. "Now, we need to wait until it's nighttime."
They waited in silence, a silence that stretched thin and taut over the ruins of the cardboard hovel. The only sounds were the distant wail of sirens from Crysalton's perpetual crimes.
When night came, Nero pointed the ray at the full moon and pressed the button. The beam hit the moon, and it started to shrink. “Yes!” Nero jumped as the moon became smaller and smaller.
After a few minutes, the moon had become a small, round, grey ball that was floating in the sky.
"And now how are you gonna take it?"
"Easy," said Nero, and a powerful aura of crimson fire appeared around him. With a huge explosion, he took off into the sky, causing an overheated shockwave that incinerated Kristen and what was left of his house.
Even Kristen's father, who was rubbing his chastity cage in the next room, and his mother, who was having sex with a black man, were instantly vaporized by the blast, becoming a red mist.
Nero flew up to the shrunken moon. It was about the size of a beach ball. He grabbed it and flew back down to the ground.
"I got the moon!" he exclaimed, holding the tiny moon in his hand. It was a small, round, grey sphere with craters and mountains on its surface. However, by reducing its size so much, its gravity had increased exponentially. The moon's gravity pulled the clouds, birds, and even the slums' roofs toward it.
Nero flew home and entered through the window, destroying the wall. Then he headed to his room to hide the moon.
"Mommy's going to be so surprised when she sees the moon!" said Nero.
The next day, on Mother's Day, Nero woke up early to make his mother breakfast. He was going to make her the best breakfast ever. He went to the kitchen and started making pancakes, jam, and tea of roses.
Remnya was sleeping in her bed when she heard a noise. She woke up and saw Nero in the kitchen, making breakfast. "Nero, what's with all the noise?"
"MOMMY!" He ran to his mother and hugged her. "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!"
He dragged her to the table and made her sit down. Then he put the plate of pancakes on the table, the jar of jam, and a cup of tea with roses.
He kissed his mother on the cheek. "Here's your breakfast. I made it myself."
"Thank you..." said Remnya, trying not to smile. She couldn't allow her son to see her smile.
Nero smiled and sat next to her. "I also have a surprise for you."
"What did you do now?"
"Oloko! Come here!"
The dwarf Oloko Mars, the family’s slave, came to the kitchen, holding the moon. The man was hairy and naked. His beard was thick and full of lice, and his skin was brown. His cock was small, and his balls were wrinkly. He had a big pot belly, and his legs were short.
The moon was the size of a piñata, but with an enormous gravitational force. It pulled Oloko's cock, stretching it to the point that the skin tore, and his cock ripped off and disappeared into the surface of the moon.
"Dammit..." Oloko was upset but didn't say anything else.
"What the fuck?" asked Remnya. "What is that?"
"It's the moon, mommy! Happy Mother's Day!" said Nero, smiling.
"What the hell?" Remnya couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her eyes were wide open, and her mouth was hanging open.
"Take it, mommy!" said Nero.
Oloko offered the moon to Remnya, who reached out and touched it. Remnya kicked the dwarf away, sending him flying across the kitchen. The dwarf crashed into the wall, and the moon fell into her hands. The gravitational force was strong, but nothing for the mighty Remnya.
"It's the moon, mommy!" said Nero.
"Yes, I can fucking see it's the goddamned moon!"
"I used Gru's shrink ray to shrink the moon." He showed her a picture of himself in Gru's house. "See? I met Gru."
Remnya couldn't believe what her son had done for her. "Thank you, Nero, but removing the moon is a bad idea. It's going to cause tidal waves, hurricanes, and earthquakes."
"Oh, I didn't think of that." Nero scratched his head. "Sorry, mommy. I just wanted to give you a special gift."
"You already did." She smiled, finally. "But I have no use for the moon. I'm going to give it back. Planet Earth needs it more than me." She grabbed the moon and left the house. Nero and Oloko followed her.
The three walked down the street, the moon still pulling Remnya. She calculated the force needed to throw the moon back into its orbit and threw it into the sky. The moon flew into space and gained momentum to start orbiting the Earth again.
"Now, go find that piece of shit Gru and return his shrink ray."
"Yes, mommy!" Nero flew off, destroying the street, cars, and everything in his path.
He flew to Gru's house and found the ugly bald man with the huge nose having an orgy with the Minions.
"Hey, Mr. Gru. I brought you your shrink ray."
Gru turned to Nero, his nose full of Minion shit. "YOU AGAIN?!"
Nero handed the shrink ray to Gru. "My mommy says you must return the moon to its original size before it causes tidal waves."
"WHY ME?! You were the one who shrank the damn thing!"
"I don't know, but my mommy forbade me from using it again." Nero turned his back to the nasty baldy and left, flying off and causing more destruction with his crimson aura.
Gru was upset. All he wanted to do was have fun with the Minions, but no, he had to go and restore the moon. He had to do it, or Remnya would be upset with him. Being a villainous mastermind had its downfalls.
And that's how Nero saved the world once again. He defeated the evil Kristen and returned the moon to its original size. Now the world was back to normal, except for the gravitational chaos that would last for another century. The Earth would now spin like a top, and the days and nights would be chaotic and unpredictable.