Chapter 5.3
That fucking letter.
Did this asshole seriously just ignore me all day and then treat me like a fucking mailman?
-----
And why a letter, anyways?
Why not just, like, talk to her in person? At the school you’re both at every day?
If you wanna be a man so badly, maybe you should start acting like one.
-----
And another thing.
He knew that Mom would still call his parents, right?
I mean, he must have.
Fujimura—for all his many, many faults—is not stupid.
An asshole, yes, but not a stupid asshole.
So…
He gives me the letter.
I pass it along like a fucking masochist.
Mom calls Fujimura’s parents.
And then…
What?
What’s his plan?
Does he even have a plan?
-----
Maybe he does have a plan.
I wouldn’t necessarily know—
Because, again, he’s been fucking ignoring me.
—But if he doesn’t…
Then this could be really bad.
-----
Should…
Should I tell him?
-----
But no, he must have seen it coming, right?
And even if he didn’t, so what?
I never agreed to be his lookout.
Hell, I never agreed to be his mailman, either, so in some ways I’ve already gone above and beyond!
-----
Sigh.
Goddammit.
My body vehemently objects as I pry myself off my mattress.
It’s now—I check the clock—1 AM, and still all I can think about is that stupid letter.
And, like,… everything associated with it.
I grab my phone off my nightstand and pull up Fujimura’s contact on Line.
Mom said she might call your parents about the letter, I type.
I stare at it for a second, checking for… something.
Then hit ‘send’ and collapse back onto my mattress.
There.
Are you happy, brain?
-----
“You okay?”
I flinch as Hina-chan’s fingertips graze the back of my arm—
My arm that’s supposed to be organizing textbooks around our kitchen table.
—then take a calming breath as her hand slides down into mine.
I shake my head a little bit. Return to my body.
Mom is off teaching one of her Saturday classes, leaving me and my very attractive girlfriend with several hours alone in a very empty, very unsupervised apartment.
It would be a promising setup if it weren’t finals week. And if my head weren’t such a mess right now.
But still. The domesticity of it all is… nice.
“I’m fine,” I say.
Unconvincingly, apparently, as Hina-chan circles to the other side of the table just so I can properly see her single, skeptically raised eyebrow.
“I’m fine!” I try again, half-forcing a chuckle. “Just… a lot on my mind, I guess.”
She nods tentatively. “Anything you want to talk about?”
Nothing I’m allowed to.
I force another grin.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Just…”
‘Nervous for finals’ is on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t do it. As mean as my brain has been lately, lying to Hina-chan is its own level of pathetic.
“…Just?” she asks. Not snooping. Just… offering.
“Just… finals. And… Fujimura stuff.”
The juxtaposition is its own kind of dishonesty.
It’s been 10 days now that Fujimura has been ignoring me.
He hasn’t looked at me.
He hasn’t responded to my message.
He hasn’t even been to baseball practice, according to Mom.
He just flits between his friends and his sister, and anyone named “Sakuragi” might as well just be a ghost.
So yeah.
‘Fujimura stuff’.
Hina-chan nods.
“Is everything okay with… all that?” I know from her tone that she doesn’t mean the ‘finals’ part.
“I… can’t really talk about it,” I say, and the honest answer is somehow even more painful than lying. Fucking typical.
She nods again, slowly.
“Okay…” she tries, biting her lip for a moment in thought. “Okay, so you can’t share Fujimura’s secrets—and I get that! I do—but… can you talk about your feelings about everything? Surely he can’t object to that, right?”
I think about it for a moment. Imagine a million different things I could tell her, a million different centimeters of honesty I could reclaim.
A million different disapproving looks from Fujimura.
A million ways I’ve somehow started letting my relationship be dictated by an outsider.
Hina-chan is still looking at me expectantly, and I finally meet her gaze.
I take a deep breath.
In.
Out.
“I—”
Knock knock knock.
I hear the front door open and close, our new arrivals not waiting for a response before letting themselves in.
I give Hina-chan one last glance—
“Later,” she mouths.
—before making my way towards the door.
It takes me an embarrassingly long time to remember who it is that’s breaking into my apartment: Mizuno-kun and Kawabe-kun, who so graciously volunteered to crash my study date earlier today. Because sure, why not.
I have just enough time to school my face before Kawabe-kun arrives in the main room.
“Yo,” he waves, then looks around. “No Coach?”
“Working,” I say.
When Kawabe-kun looks confused, I roll my eyes.
“Her job isn’t just teaching you losers baseball,” I say. “She’s, like, a whole-ass city employee.”
“Wow,” Kawabe-kun says. “So Coach is, like, the Aokawa Sports Queen or something? And here I thought she couldn’t get any ho—”
“Please do not finish that sentence,” I glower, and Kawabe-kun shrugs apologetically while smirking very unapologetically.
Sigh.
Yay friendship.
Mizuno-kun, for his part, has already made his way to the table, where he’s busy unpacking what seems to be the textbooks for every single one of our classes. Stacking them into a little textbook tower.
“You, uh, got enough books there, buddy?” Kawabe-kun asks, his eyes tracking the growth of Mizuno-kun’s tower.
“Sorry,” Mizuno-kun replies through a nervous chuckle. “I just… need all the help I can get.”
“We’ll do our best,” Hina-chan assures him. And by ‘we’ I assume she means her and Kawabe-kun since I’m a remedial student at best and a ‘forgets about people he invites to his own apartment’ at… now.
Kawabe-kun drops onto one of the cushions and tosses his bag beside him.
“You’re all taking this way too seriously,” he says. “I hardly ever study, and I do just fine for myself. I’m basically only here to help you guys out.”
“You were 15th place in the last exam,” I say. “In a class of 34.”
“Aaand I got that without needing to study!” he says as if his expert tutelage has already started. And he thinks I’m a moron.
I hear a phone buzz, and my rogue hand goes straight to my pocket.
…Then I see Hina-chan raise her phone—the one that actually just vibrated—and drop my hand as inconspicuously as possible.
Breathe in, breathe ou—
“Hey, sweetie?” Hina-chan starts, still looking at her phone screen. “I mentioned our study group to Miu-tan and Nana-chan, and they’re wondering if they can join us?” She looks up at me expectantly.
My brow furrows as I try to think lessabout my phone and moreabout… who that is?
Think…
Think…
Hina-chan frowns.
“Kurokawa Miu and Morita Nanami?” she prods, and there’s a tinge of irritation in her voice. “…Two of my best friends?”
…Oh.
Right.
That “Miu-tan and Nana-chan”.
“Right!” I say, shaking my head a bit to concentrate and plastering on a smile. “Of course they can come! Your friends are always welcome here.”
Her eyes narrow a bit before she apparently decides against saying anything more.
For now, at least.
“Great,” she says, forcing a bit of cheer into her voice in a way that doesn’t entirely land. “I’ll let them know.”
She starts typing out a reply on her phone, then pauses to look at Kawabe-kun.
“Behave,” she says, then keeps typing.
Kawabe-kun blinks.
“What did I do?!”