Chapter 5 Premiere – You’re Invited
I, Sakuragi Toji, am fucking exhausted.
Again.
Shocking, I know.
-----
I fell asleep last night in record time.
Then the stress dreams started.
Going to school naked.
Going to work naked.
Meeting Hina-chan'sparents naked.
That last one was the last straw before I decided to just boycott sleep entirely.
By 4 AM, I was fully awake.
By 4:05, I was staring at the ceiling and planning next steps.
By 4:10, the yappy little tormentor in my brain was also awake.
By 4:15, my only “next step” was to shut it back up.
One morning routine later, I got to school ungodly early.
The school building itself was already unlocked for some of the earliest club meetings, but none of them take place in home room, apparently, giving me the privacy to pace the floor several times over before deciding that—even sans audience—I just look like a neurotic jackass.
Now it’s 5 AM, and I’m sitting at my desk—in a still-empty classroom—and hoping/praying that studying for our upcoming finals is enough to distract me.
Is studying a good distraction?
Sometimes.
Is it working now?
Fuck no.
I try to focus. I really do.
Try to move my eyes from line to line.
Try to convince myself that the last 12 hours I’ve just… been really worried about my finals all of a sudden.
The finals I’ve known about for months.
…
Ugh.
It’s honestly kind of a new low to be so full of shit I can’t even convince myself.
A fact tormentor-brain loves reminding me of.
Repeatedly.
In Fujimura’s voice.
…
You know what?
Fine.
If I'm being completely honest.
Then it's possible that maybe.
Just maybe.
…I'm a little worried about how the makeover turned out.
Like, don't get me wrong!
I have no reason to be.
When I came home from my date with Hina-chan, the place was spotless.
And Fujimura hasn’t exactly been shy about fucking conscripting me lately—so if something did go wrong, then she definitely would have said something, wouldn’t she?
Wouldn’t…
But… I guess if she's trying to be a boy again, it should be 'he'?
Maybe?
Ugh. What the fuck ever.
I’m too tired for this.
-----
The classroom gradually begins to fill up around me, and each new person is like my own personal jump-scare.
I try to focus on the background noise—
Students chatting.
Someone yawning.
A chair scraping against the floor.
—but my focus is still on…
The textbook in front of me.
Because I’m studying.
Obviously.
The door slides open again and…
Oh.
It’s Fujimura.
Like… Fujimura Fujimura.
Not “girl-Fujimura wearing boys' clothes”.
Not “someone trying really hard to look like Fujimura”.
Just...
Him.
…
Huh.
I guess...
I hadn't actually expected it to work.
Not like this, anyway.
I figured there'd be something. Some obvious tell.
But even when I’m actively looking for one—trying my hardest to see the girl under the disguise—everything I find is so minor it might honestly just be my brain playing tricks on me.
Which…
That feels real weird.
He is still a she under there, right?
Unless one of their hair-care bottles wound up containing a wish-granting jinn, the person I’m looking at is still physically a girl.
Which…
Wait.
Does this count as crossdressing?
Can you crossdress as yourself?
…
Ugh.
I don’t fucking know.
This sounds like a problem for future Toji.
-----
“Sakuragi-kun?”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Sakuragi-kun!”
My eyes fly open.
A page of my textbook sticks to my cheek as I jerk upright.
“…Huh? What?”
Mizuno-kun is at his desk, looking over at me with a bemused expression.
“Dude,” he says through a stifled laugh. “Were you seriously asleep?”
“No!”
“…”
“…Maybe.”
He snorts.
“Long night?”
“Something like that.”
Half-truth.
“Studying already? Finals got you that scared?”
“I’m always scared of finals,” I chuckle.
Technically true. Lie by omission.
He starts talking about the math exam—something about Sato-sensei supposedly dropping hints during last week’s review—but my attention drifts almost immediately.
Not because Mizuno-kun's saying anything boring.
Just because…
Laughter.
From the other side of the room.
Fujimura’s standing with a few of his teammates now, one hand shoved nonchalantly into his pocket.
He says something I can’t make out, and it’s not girl-Fujimura’s voice.
It’s not quite old Fujimura’s voice either—the voice I overheard for months—but it’s definitely close.
Maybe a little… higher?
Softer?
Something?
Whatever it is, it’s clear even to me that he isn’t completely used to disguising his girl voice yet.
Finally finding a tell makes me happier than it probably should.
“Earth to Sakuragi-kun.”
I turn back to Mizuno-kun, who’s giving me a look.
“Dude, you good?” he asks.
“I’m okay,” I straight-up lie. “Just… tired, I guess.”
Mizuno-kun squints at me for a moment, then lowers his voice.
“…I’m sure he’ll be fine,” he half-whispers.
“Huh?”
“Oh, please,” he grins. “You’re a lot of things, Sakuragi Toji, but ‘subtle’ is not one of them.”
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie again.
Doing a bang-up job at this whole ‘honesty’ thing.
“Mhmm.” Mizuno-kun sounds unconvinced. “I won’t pry. But… you know you can talk to me if you ever have something on your mind, …right?”
My traitorous eyes drift over again, only to see Fujimura glancing my way as well.
Our eyes have barely met when he’s already looking away.
There’s no sign of greeting or even recognition.
…What’s that about?
My eyes linger for a moment even as my head turns back to look at Mizuno-kun, who’s giving me an all-too-knowing look.
“Um… thanks,” I say. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Then the bell rings before the yapping can get any louder.