40. Nimrodititis
Mail arrived from the Otherside. A sad tale. Jai-I bemoans the utter deconstruction of ZOOL.A.ND. Was it due to me? My wanting to leave? He’d expressly said no. No, it wasn’t my fault. Just a coincidental event. Everything cool had turned upside down. Subscribers’ accounts frozen...with them inside. Stuck in ZOOL.A.ND forever. Very detrimental, this. Especially for those lesser deities. Dominant ones, it’s just a scratch to their vaults. They have plenty character-cash to throw around; bright, shiny, new, off the showroom split personalities they can easily purchase, a Ferrari type avatar or a Bugatti Veyron robot replica of whoever they are; these prosperous buggers, like Jahr, just go on buying property, real estate in diverse paradise markets regardless boom or gloom, extending their heritage, their godlikeness in various heavens new and old, vintage or novel.
On the contrary, wretched gods finding their paths in eternity are simply cut short their adventure. Kaput. Happily showing off some interactive 3D high-definition tattoo to she-devils, and they’re turned to soft bunnies. Not that bad if the demonic chicks of the dark could cuddle them, but the sizzling nymphs too are transformed to teddy bears and other unbearable plush toys. Everywhere is like Smurf’s world, and you gotta carry on living as Winnie the Pooh’s distant relative or something.
This didn’t fare too well for Jai-I’s ego. Some child named Nimrod had taken over. Some child! Imagine this. Imagine this happening to the son of Jahr, proud lofty son of Jahr. How could he, this cool, cold, high standing Aura, concede defeat to a preadolescent despot? And yet he had. Nothing Jai-I fashioned overthrew that alien threat. He evoked all his technological incantations, but they merely fell flat against the firewall Nimrod had erected. How blasphemous, Jai-I was now the ‘virus’ trying to get in. Cast out from his own domain, overtaken by an enigmatic kid, the former ruler of ZOOL.A.ND kept at bay from entering. Nimrod’s antivirus was potent, it gave Jai-I’s troops boils and headaches, unceremoniously transmitting a viral disease through cyber-air and cyber-fluids, and soon soldiers were coughing and sneezing and dying of spam. In a week’s time Jai-I’s entire army was wiped out.
That’s not the end. Know how bubonic plagues are most efficient killing machines? Epic epidemics devoured populations of entire continents throughout millennia. No wonder biological warfare is a beloved amongst generals. The disease mushrooms, and then all of Jai-I’s kingdom is rabid dogs biting each other to death.
Nimrodititis, doctors named it; virtual cousin of the rabies strain, but thrice more virulent. Infected become ultraviolent. They attack anything. Not only do they tear at humans, but they sink corrupted teeth into all other objects, dead or living. No species was spared. It’s terrifyingly comical, seeing a contaminated thing, an ex-person, going berserk; hands, legs, flailing, chasing dragonflies to nibble venous wings. Flora was also in danger; once transmitted, all gentle creatures became ‘beavers’ chomping down trees. Don’t mention greens; even unanimated, lifeless things get eaten. Polluted subjects, many close to Jai-I’s heart, have been seen hurling themselves at trains, biting onto bumpers, scraping at doors, banging heads on lampposts...
When the worm had consumed enough of the brain, the infected convulses and crumples. In a minute...dead.
Initially, Jai-I thought he could easily reclaim his territories, but the boy was not as dumb as he was. Jai-I never managed to hack in, and till this day his empire remained in enemy hands. With hope gone, humiliated and outwitted by Nimrod’s deft touch, Jai-I clung to Trekz’z fake cleavage, allowing the ominous jublees the hideous task of erasing him. Consolation is in the shape that the Shifter is okay; otherwise lover god would have had committed suicide.
“Going away. I’m taking a break; need time to think.” He wrote in sloppy digital handwriting, “Call me at Trekz’z tit, assuming he remains female. If not, find me in whatever organ he’s possessing. You’ll find a way in, knowing you. Signing off...Jai-I, adopted son of Jahr, who recently found out how puny and insignificant he is. How can I please my father when I can’t even overcome a child???”